colonelkurtz

We are stardust, we are golden,

And we've got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Leaving do's are bad, but retirement do's are a particularly hellish subset as you just know the cunts will be dead within a year.

we always invite past retired colleague cunts to the team christmas meal / piss up and

proceedings always begin with the " let's see who's snuffed it " head count 

shallow i know - and maybe it's just me - but you know those words which if you keep repeating become to sound funny for no reason - "binyamin netanyahu" ...- is it a cocktail ,a moon of jupiter,an inflammation of the digestive tract ?  

try saying "it's a nice morning" to someone in murrica at 1205 hrs and you'll get a lawsuit slapped on you.

take me out ? ... no fecking problem - let the cunts face see the rapidly approaching length of rough sawn 4x2 

hrh the queen is known to masticate every mouthful 24 times 

.............. "Excuse me, what's the vegetarian option?" she asked.............

 ..... " well , the main option open to you jessiecunt m'dear is just fuck right off and eat elsewhere - you pretentious cunt " -  usually does the trick.

Try farting Beethoven's 9th symphony they'll love it.

providing this would not constitute an infringement of copyright law it does hold a certain appeal

i always go by the checkout staff fuckability quotient ... never let me down yet !

All that you get from the "true Muslims" is the fear of Islamaphobia whilst they put their hands up (if they still have both) saying "It wasn't us!". Why don't they show any sign of protest or solidarity with the victims of these attacks, instead of playing themselves off as the victims all the fucking time?

 

Meanwhile another shooting has happened this morning in Paris, in which a female police officer has died, although it's unconfirmed whether or not it's related. One eye witness said one was "of African descent", dressed in black and wearing a bullet proof vest. What the fuck is going on?

Just watch the shit hit the fan when the radicals " wrong kind of muslim " cleansing process spreads from the middle east ... because it will happen ... and guess who the so called moderate muslim majority will come to for help ?

...what the fuck is he ? ... token toff ... national treasure ...the next james bond ...cunt ?

on your marks , get set ...

like westcunty once said - you'd never get that nice jane asher being vulgar - because she was nice she was and also never went near a mars bar in her life

fannies come preshaved at birth when you're a toff

she's a shite footballer as well ... nothing like as good as her grandad

rarely does anyone make me almost believe in all the mumbo jumbo bollocks about evil spirits and malevolent forces as much as this sack of shite.

my late lamented nans response was invariably " ooh ..how common "

stopped listening to R2 many moons ago at the onset of the evans - vine - wright daily cuntfest   - but inadvertedly tuned in last weekend and fuck me , just when you thought things can't get any worse  ...... tony bastarding cunt fucking blackburn for fucks sake with his special brand of auralwank excuse for a programme. these fuckers must knock one out all over the mixing desk every time they get the chance to mention their own fucking name.

had the misfortune yesterday to be seated at the office christmas lunch next to one of the shy , reticent and too polite types - nice enough bloke but fucking hard work for fucks sake. just 'yes' and 'no' answers to everything and his only response to my cunt and cuntette nominations around us was a glib smile and sip from his glass of water.  what is wrong with these fuckers.....do they go home and kick seven colours of shite out of the cat , give the missus one up the wrong 'un and rant about the gobshite cunt he had to sit next to at lunch !

happened to glance at carol k's weather report this morning [ you know how it is - the box is just switched on there in the corner ] and - fuck a duck - what's  with the extremely low definition minimal cling black and blue hoops outfit ? ... for fucks sake bbc what's that all about ? - we don't ask much for our £145.50 per annum - so get a fucking grip you wardrobe department cunts .

That's like the pot calling the kettle black, Punk. This chap could live in a council house in the South East, and it would still be worth twice as much as your alleged country house in Cheshire.

pot - kettle ...au contraire ... so southern jessie and a more than a tad common tha' knows . cafetiere by bodum are de rigeur around these parts.

we hear often enough about all of our emergency services having to do risk assessments before proceeding with their duty - well why can't A&E staff be allowed to assess the risk of working safely and effectively with these sacks of shit , decide it's a no go , stick the cunts with a time spent bill and tell them and their skankblob slags to fuck right off the premises. if challenged just throw the health and safety at work act 1974 , EU infringement of workers human rights legislation and cctv coverage at the managers  .  i know that to their credit medical staff treat everyone and anyone regardless and are not there to judge but it is time we stopped tolerating these cunts.

concur entirely crapper old bean - although my not so guilty pleasure is the morning sight of the rack on that scottish weather woman on bbc tv .

weather warnings,traffic warnings,pollen warnings,uv warnings,warnings about warnings .....all part of the "covering our arses just in case you cunts make a claim" ongoing exercise courtesy of the fucking mardarse section of the department for the fucking obvious. 

southern .."reach his arse with his lips" ...  ..quality  ...or even have the alleged marilyn manson  "blow job to self , rib removal surgery " !!