colonelkurtz

always make me smile when the main news programme ends and we get "and now over to the news from where you live" - when what the twats really mean is " and now over to a cheapo and far less flash studio set than ours and presenters who are nothing like as fit as we are - cos let's face it you're all either fecking bumpkins,northerners, jocks and micks and why would we go out of our way for cunts like you"

 .... fuck all of that and just check out the rack on that scottish weather woman in the mornings on bbc

"retiring"  ... "not taking seat in the house of lords" ..."blah blah blah" .... fuck right off brown - next stop for you then planet cunt and various consultancies,another university vice chancellorship ,directorships and the rest of the old boy/girl cuntery nice little earners network for you then - any chance of a double act nationwide tour with the blaircunt - something along the lines of "an evening with arsewipes extroadinaire with guest appearances by any other money grabbing politician fucker you care to name"...  ok , that doesn't quite scan as a poster  [as they say in meeja land] so maybe not eh !

I wonder if he'll say something in a hilarious Jamaican accent.

 

I too enjoyed his stand-up as a a kid. It was a bit 'safe' but it made me chuckle. Nowadays, the very sight of him fills me with an incandescent rage reserved for only the umost of top-tier cunts.

same with me - also it's the " i'm so earnest and erudite , so how can you possibly not listen to moi " bollocks  .... thing is - the late great les dawson was articulate AND funny but could carry it off without being a cunt .  also stuart lee is not a cunt but michelle mcintyre is.

[bbc news 01/12/2014]

say what  ?  ....  all you london jessies - this just gets fecking better !!

baws - truly fecking wonderful tv - this and the 'kicking of archbishop brennans arse'  is up there with 'don't mention the war'. 

next week retailers all over the country will,for one day be celebrating this olde englishe celebration of how shops really regard customers ...any requests for assistance will be met with an icy "oh, for fucks sake" stare...... "do you have this in size 10" will illicit the "just got whats on the rack you thick bitch , are you fecking blind or what" response ..... the automated  " till number 5" announcements to be replaced by "get your lazy fat arse up here you idle cunt - i haven't got all fecking day". Who knows maybe we could export this jolly old tradition to our colonial cousins over there in good old murrica - after all there's nothing they like more than a slice of that lil' old englandstershire culture.

bbc news 29 nov ..... FFS  

current odds 

i've just about had it with the cuntery of  "out of the box thinking " ... "blue sky ideas" ... "ring fencing" and all the numerous other turd end buzz words -  the only relief this morning was sitting right at the back of the room  day dreaming up cc responses to this management crapfest.

and yes .. you guessed it - "ring fencing" came top of the list !

I'd loathe myself if someone needed telling to fuck off and I didn't say it.

often worth returning to the shop simply to seek out and remind the cunt

Nothing better than a juiced best man speech ... you get guests walking out in disgust and a priceless photo collection of facial expressions  ....been there and i recommend it as a great way to spend an afternoon !

I used to think that, but this morning I've received an email informing me that I've won the jackpot in the Nigerian National Lottery. What a fucking result! I hadn't even bought a ticket. The beers are on me.

me too ... just been to the bentley dealership en route to buying accrington stanley .. good times !

looks like one...talks like one...walks like one  

This arsewipe has this morning spent 15 minutes or so of tv time being asked questions by one of the talking heads brigade and not given a single straight answer to fuck all.

Since this ability is an essential requirement for these politocunts it wouldn't come as a great surprise if the twats have a league table listing the top dogs/bitches who show unsurpassed expertise in the art of sneering at /shitting on / laughing at us mere mortals. 

The way these inept cunts hold on to their jobs is astonishing and it can only be that this excuse for a home secretary must share , along with the likes of that brookes newspaper cunt woman, the blaircunt etc., etc. a  "serious shit you wouldn't believe on others"  file or have put out and taken a copious mileage of dick over the years from here there and everywhere to have stayed in office - fuck knows the state of her undercarraige.

fecking workshy scrounging inbred layabout cunts

These so called celeb cunts 'donate' their precious time and talent  ..... whilst us mere mortals are lectured on how we should give money.

Geldoff .. fuck right off .. because for every one of you and your self serving ego tripping arsewipe mates there are at least some public figures who donate in private without feeling the the need for sordid career moves and photo opportunities. If you're so concerned about africa take some time out from tax evading and go and live there for a few years ...oh ! ..wait a minute !

I heard Bono has moved his company to another country so as not to pay the high taxes in Ireland,therefore saving a small fortune.

How about the Irish cunt sending the money he saves to help out the countries he so readily spouts off about along with that other cunt Geldof.

Hypocrites the fucking lot of them. As long as they are seen in the public eye to be do-gooders that's all that matters to them. CUNTS with a capital fucking C.

These so called celeb cunts 'donate' their precious time and talent  ..... whilst us mere mortals are lectured on how we should give our money.

Geldoff .. fuck right off .. because for every one of you and your self serving ego tripping arsewipe mates there are at least some public figures who donate in private without feeling the the need for sordid career moves and photo opportunities. If you're so concerned about africa take some time out from tax evading and go and live there for a few years ...oh ! ..wait a minute !

If you for some reason you need to know what the smell of a turd,vomit,minge squelch,fried onion,arse crack ,horse shit,knob cheese and piss cocktail is like then blackpool is the place for you.

is this that fat jewish lass that has an opinion on everything or am i thinking of someone else ?

me and mrs kurtz met piers morgan and lennox lewis in central park nyc [spending her redundancy pay out] where they were promoting some yank tv show and  while mrs kurtz was all "ooh ... he's so nice yadda yadda" ,  my preconceived opinion of morgan  was confirmed ...a grade 1 cunt  [and for the record - lewis was the complete opposite].

with all of the above commendable qualities what's not to like ?

Just more evidence that has-been cunts will gladly advertise any old wank if the money's right.

the one that really gets my goat is the parkinson cunt with his sneering life insurance shite ad - done with about as much "sinserridy" as a fucking housebrick  .  note the relish with which he declares the tempting offer of some skanky pen " just for enquiring " ...... no , just look at the fuckers face and you just know his preferred closing line should be  "i mean , what's not to like you bunch of fucking peasants" 

was a cunt before cunts existed - and what a treat it would be if one of the of the bell end candidates would just lose it , leap over the desk and give him an almighty twatting then piss all over his two bitches and run from the building yelling  " fire that you minge faced arsewipe - it shudda been me"