colonelkurtz

9 hours ago, judgetwi said:

If you actually intend to watch this “look at me i’m a desperate sleb pretending to save the world and I actually give a flying fuck” load of fucking bollocks, then you only need one bullet. Just make sure you have a firearm of the correct calibration.

That’s all.

My initial thoughts were for a far wider selection of through and throughs .. waste not want not

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2020/big-night-in-presenters

Is she related to Rachel Riley ?

All the nice girls love a sailor

25 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

37 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

If its found out the yellow cunts did start this on purpose then its time for every single one of the little cunts to be fried up in a big China sized wok with ICBMs as the fuel source.    

 This is obviously top of the orange shitgibbons to do list after the dumb bastards re elect him in November.

 

More good news .. Sir Reginald Dwight herself organised  a  virus relief [?]  singalong while isolated in his LA gaff that - wait for - didn't have a piano -  oh.. the fucking horror. The usual gaggle of attention seeking sychopants chipped in from far and wide with their own "contributions"   [Dave Grohl .. FUCKING ETERNAL SHAME on you ]

The cunt has been dining out on the bearded hippy dippy shite for far too long .. and to all you boomers who set the cunt up by buying a copy of  that Tubular Bells pile of fecking cack .. what complete bunch of fucking arse wipes you are.

The cunt has been dining out on he hippy dippy shite for far too long .. and to all you boomers who bought a copy of  that Tubular Bells pile of fecking cack .. what complete bunch of fucking arse wipes you are.

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

 ....The medical staff who work in the A&E departments should be ashamed to let this happen. 

Best sentence of the year by far - Just surprised [ then again, maybe not ] that the question has never been asked. Although when your up against Love island or Whispering Dave Attenborough every bit of morbid voyeurism is a big plus particularly when the C4/5 big fat cheque is dangled in the Trust managers face.

Why are they all such scruffy bastards ?  .. not  decent haircut, complexion or even a smart pair of chinos between them. At least that Herr Hitler had the nous to get Hugo Boss on board with the SS outfits

52 minutes ago, Cunt-End Of The World said:

When asking "Can we meet Wednesday at 10", it is perfectly acceptable to say "Sorry, I am busy at that time" or things to that effect. What is not acceptable is the phrase " I don't know what I'm doing on that day yet ". Actually, you cunt, you do know what your doing, it's meeting me for the meeting I just fucking requested. It is truly cuntish form to suggest, in this roundabout way, that you are waiting to weight up all of the fucking offers you receive, especially as I rearranged something else to prioritise you TODAY. 

Fuck off usually works for me

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He looks like a black version of Ken from Citizen Smith.*

*I'd post a pic but cant on this phone 

Spike Lee should be accusing the arse off him for cultural appropriation .. oh ! -  hang on 

11 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

The second stage of the inquiry has just started two and a half years after the fire and this stage of the inquiry is expected to last until June 2021 afterwards it will most likely be at least another 18 months before the results of the inquiry are published .. a five and a half  year gravy train for consultants other "experts" and of course member of the civil service and legal profession. Pure cuntery as we already know the reason why the fire spread so quickly and who the cunts are who were responsible for this. Some of those cunts will of course end up financially profiting from the inquiry.

There'll always be HS6 to fall back on [Skeggy to Whitehaven] to keep the consultancies and experts busy for years to come

20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

"I would crawl naked over broken glass just to suck the cock of the last man who fucked her"

Jimmy Carr.

" Try to imagine the pleasure I would take in caving Carr's head in "

Sean Lock.

You talking to me ?

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/im-helicopter-here-costs-550-17542667?fbclid=IwAR2-3UmyXTJ-iu6NGB5ANCE-xyaYjAvY_puypGRzd6wYJYJOO511JgQfY4A

When you just hope and pray for a main rotor catastrophic failure

40 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

..Never mind how racist it is to assume that people only like something if they see people who look exactly like them doing it.

Absolutely Spot on Jiggers .. I have an Indian pal who does bat for the other side and yet  in all the years I have known him he has never once felt the need or inclination to go full mardarse about how he is under represented , victimised or suffered serious discrimination. That one sentence from your post is his view almost word for word . I do admit to  having  had occasion to call him a glory hunting City supporting twat .. but to be fair somethings do need saying.

Never argue with a recycling centre Obergruppenfuhrer .. they all have Doctorates in Materials Science from Keele

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

I like the pompous cunt Derek talking about his Sun Life Guaranteed Plan. Particularly the one where he takes a box of parsnips round to gurning June's house, and starts feeding them into her capacious cunt.

It's the unedited version that's worth a watch,  with Junes closing line " Yes , that 's all very well Derek but what do you say to a quick blow job while the dogs not watching .. I'll even take me teeth out  " 

5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Thornberry looks like Leeds-era Thomas Brolin, after he'd eaten all the half-time Jaffa Cakes

swedishbastard leedsbastard youfatbastard

Brewers so called unrehearsed off the cuff  encounters when he clinches his imaginary deal and says   " old aaht yer ahnd " you can just see the look from the punter that says " You complete and utter fucking shithouse cockerney twat ".  Come to think of it that's the expression on Big Ed's face most of the time and especially as he wields his torque wrench or welding torch in the vicinity of Brewer.

8 hours ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

Ric Ocasek with a blonde dye job.

Sir John Cooper Clarkes Ma

So this vicious waste of space pleads guilty to attempted murder last August and it's also now revealed his father made efforts to draw attention to his OCD,ASD and fuck knows what other disorders  his precious disadvantaaged  little arsewipe suffers from. The cunt's called Jonty the father's called Piers  - say nofuckingmore -  how very apt then that the cuntstick felt compelled to choose the Tate Modern to exercise his rights as a mental health sufferer to attack an innocent kid. Dread the thought that the attack could take place in say a KFC or other such uncultured riff raff surroundings . After all it's important to maintain standards and not give the wrong impression when acting like a complete and utter arsewipe , I mean , what would the neighbours think. Also, don't get me started on the frigging eyebrows .

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Is there a bigger cunt in England right now? This little skid mark is single handedly responsible for forcing British political discourse into a post-truth anti-educationalist miasma so dense that a Cabinet minister can go on the news and claim that keeping nurses in their jobs is very much the same as adding new nurses. This little weasel smirks his way through questions and handles dissent with a faux politeness and breezy dismissiveness only found in Tory swamp creatures. A shame-free sociopath who has never missed a chance to be a slippery Machiavellian cunt. He knows he talks bollocks but does it anyway, for who will stop him? Numbers are meaningless. Facts are opinions. Truth is lies. Black is white. A former education Secretary who Invokes the mob against the expert. I’d like to see his head on a fucking spike, pronto.  

An oily fucking squirt who's made an art form of cuntery , is shithousery personified and possessive of a face so deserving of a rapid meeting with a length of Howdens best rough sawn  4x2 .  

It's that time of year again when, without  irony the BBC milks the fuck out of the annual shitefest known as 'Chilren in neeed' aka the gathering of Z list self ingratiating cunts who find time in their hectic schedules to lecture us ordinary folk and ponce around being 'wacky' and scrounge in the name of charridee for the sake of some snot nosed little shit somewhere or other. When it's all over they'll depart in their Mercs and private helicopters safe in the knowledge that the latest PR wheeze has gone down a treat with the oinks who eagerly await the next episode of Strictly Arsewipes. What better excuse to binge rewatch Sons of A all evening could there be.