Rev

9 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

There was one on the news who said she wasn't looking for work because her life was too chaotic... She had 7 kids of which most didn't live with her ..

Another said they couldn't afford to live on 20k...really?

GET A FUCKING JOB

Yeah, the skeletal slag with the seven brats will have a cunt like a ripped out fireplace and a uterus like a fucking aircraft hangar. Her labia must slop about at her ankles when she goes for a shit. 

They should be cold-pressed and their subsequent fluids turned into envelope adhesive. Then simply set on fire. It's practically a clinically proven fact that they're a shower of fucking grasping, needy layabout stay-at-home Jeremy Kyle-addicted smackhead rapists. 

These handout-dependent walking-waste dole lepers should be drop-kicked through a wood-chipper, scrotum first...then set on fire. Moses was a cunt.

I'd smash her fucking back doors in for him. That cottager hasn't got it in him. He should have his fucking clackerbag nailed to a saw-horse and be set on fire.

This tawdry, faux-Irish skinhead cunt has been polluting the fucking airwaves far longer than should be permissible with the utter shite that is Big Brother and Bastard X Factor (among a veritable fucking cornucopia of other pish) that he presents in his tiresome and insincere Vaudevillian Essex wanker delivery. If the verminous imbecile hadn't got lucky, he'd have likely faced multiple arrest warrants for common assault in his local Boys' Brigade troupe for rubbing his badly shaven chins on impressionable children's Piffin's Bridges. I want him dead. Max Clifford's a cunt.

It's probably population control. Most of them likely have previous and are on some register or other. I suspect a fair few of them are issued with a trenching shovel and Fisting Butter along with their lollipop; especially the cunts who apply for shifts where there is waste ground near the school.

To be fair, there's a glut of these otherwise unemployable day-glo cunt-blisters littering our streets. But it's not entirely their own fault. If these more often than not bastard infants' heroin-addicted fuck-nozzle parents weren't so busy playing Call of Duty, knocking back Special Brew, smoking grass bought for with my fucking taxes, renewing their membership to GoatFucksMySixToedSister.com and impregnating their bucket-fanny partners, they could chaperone their multi-coloured little turds across the road to the chippy themselves and buy their six-year olds their own fags at lunchtime. I remember the days when these lollipop pederast bastards wore a white greatcoat, probably concealing a rubber T-shirt with the nipples cut out and recently stolen (and more recently soiled) French crotchless directoire knickers. It's also always been a mandate of application that they must smell of piss. Cunts.

The showbiz world isn't exactly going to be rocked by this long-suspected emperor of sausaging declaring that he's a fucking screaming arse-butler. However, what concerns me is that all these bassoon-playing shirters monopolising the spotlight are delivering their message of man-frottage on a global scale. All of us heterosexual blokes will become the fucking minority when these fart-punching mutant slurpers take over. We won't take this lying down...or bent over. I want them dead. James Dean was a cunt.

His death is no biggie. The wanker was a fucking ignoramus and a life-long arse-candle. I wanted him dead. He's dead. Job done. Good. Fuck off, Howe. Cunt. 

To be fair, all fat cunts should really be publicly executed if they exceed a maximum of 15 stone, or a 40inch waist. Think of the savings to be made by the NHS and the Welfare system alone. Better still, they should only be allowed to breed if they're in gainful employment, euthanised if they aren't and turned into fucking asphalt on a live TV feed if they break this rule. The fat fucking sponging, wolf-howling-at-the-moon fleece-wearing, aluminium dole-stick sporting, spack-chariot-driving behemoth bastards. I want them dead.

I'm sure I remember reading that this cunt was into piss-therapy years ago...drinking it and sharing golden showers with other similarly diseased-minded bastards. His breath must be instantly recognisable to a few of the contented slurpers on here, if any of the current trend of accusatory posts are to be believed.

15 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'd have done Sally Thomsett before Tessa Wyatt any day. That filthy little chipmunk mouth looked like it could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

 

I'll see your Sally Fucking Thomsett and raise you a sweetly fragrant Jenny Agutter. I know which side my bread's buttered.

29 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Er, sorry Rev, they're all in my cellar. 

Which reminds me, time to top up the baby oil in their paddling pool...

But...but...I bought a dozen catering-sized tubs of Fisting Butter in anticipation of them knocking my door. How fucking dare you steal all my hot lesbians.

The UK is fast becoming completely full of weedy fucking bastard Liberal-leftard misandrist cunts. All lesbians now seem to be fucking moustachio'd butterfaced sea-hags with the aesthetics of Arthur Mullard wearing lipstick and a frock. Whether they're leading a protest for similar nose-ringed Rasta-hat-wearing double-baggers, supporting all their fellow confused Dr Martens-wearing multi-gender lady-chuts, or (as I have recently experienced) in the workplace, they all seem as promisingly attractive as scoring a back-scuttle off Myra Hindley's rotting corpse.

I'm fuck-sick of these goatee-bearded, dungaree'd, bulky skinhead lesbanians with forearm tattoos taking up oxygen our fucking trees work hard to produce, so that they can throw their alleged 37 genders into any fucking made up on the spot argument. Lesbians are meant to be soft to the touch, give their tits a good airing in the work canteen at lunch and be attractive, like BBC weather slag Lucy Verasamy, or those two whores with fringes in fucking Emmerdale; not some snarling, roll-up smoking cockless reject from the Wanderers with underarms you could knit fucking dreadlocks into. Fuck off and drop dead. Vin Diesel is a cunt.

I'm sure there was a "Dead Pool" on the old Corner and this old slimy bastard was in the top five about six years ago. He should just fuck off gracefully and drop dead, like Lionel Blair will shortly. Hopefully. 

I always thought Greggs were at the fiddle. Their pies are shite. This cunt'll have a dung-hatch like a gaping caramel custard doughnut before too long, once Cess and Leroy invade his mud-slide.

I plan to post my next one by special delivery, to Nicola "Fucking Bull-Dyke Thin-Lipped Commie Lesbian" Sturgeon.

I've just evacuated. Mine was a rather fetching shade of russet and felt like I was giving birth to a fucking gym rope.

I couldn't give a single flying shit about these bearded, gender-neutral, fucking non-binary sausaging woofters. They should shed their man-bags, nipple-clamps, man up and join the army, or fuck off. All this is, is student politics being given a platform for these bastard chocolate cha-cha dancing, rainbow-flavoured fucking chuts, whose prime motivation is to be offended by...everything. Fuck off. They should be cleansed with fire, or hooked up to an IV of drain cleaner, then drop-kicked through a fucking bark-stripper. I want them dead. Cunts.

Old cunts are oddly shaped enough without re-living their non-existent youth by sporting low-end sportswear. If I had a penny for every old fucking sad-sack I've passed wearing shite trainers, fake Adidas jogging bottoms and low budget Superdry rip-offs in the last twelve months, I'd have about £11.60.

These crumbly bastards should be wearing comfortable brown Hush Puppies, ill-fitting shirts, sensible sweaters, oversized gold-rimmed Rose West Aviator spectacles and a confection of beige outdoor wear, to match their fucking stubble-chinned wives' teeth.

If only the doubly incontinent wankers had the self-awareness to acknowledge that whatever decidedly non-de rigueur clothing line they wear, they still smell of piss and predictably can't shave themselves properly. Waddling about in badly tailored market-stall tat doesn't make you look "street", it makes you look like you have a prolapsed uterus, you fucking stupid old arseholes. Fuck off. Vera Lynn's a cunt.

On 28/03/2017 at 11:24 PM, DingTheRioja said:

You can keep Kimberley, pass me the plank...

You're welcome to her, dingers. I suspect that her roastie kicks out a stench not dissimilar to a professional dogger's rusty Transit.

On 28/03/2017 at 6:45 PM, Cuntybaws said:

If you want a job doing properly, get the right tool...

Negan's the only cunt I particularly like in The Walking Dead. My only beef with him is he's too fucking soft and I suspect he's starting to show his feminine side. How tragically gay. By Series 7, I'd be having some pretty fucking serious three-way action with Maggie and that full-on Shogun bint Shamone, or whatever her fucking name is. Of course, what with Maggie having "relations" with Kim Jong Flatheid, I'd need to hose out her piggy-bank first.

He was shit in Milli Vanilli anyway. His chav family can shit off as far as I'm concerned. Cunts.

Sounds like a 90s video game centred around a fat Italian plumber simultaneously waving his mushroom-cock with one hand and eating Doritos with the other. These bastard dogs should be wiped out, along with their badly-tattooed, benefits-dependent heroin-addict owners, preferably with fire. They deserve nothing less. I have spoken.

She went to a fee-paying school round the corner from mine and I'm surprised to learn that I never fucked her. All the girls at Laurel Park were notoriously yo-yo knickered scrubbers who'd go down for a roll and chips and a slug of Tizer.