Rev

This fucking moron is an SNP MSP representing Hamilton, Larkhall and Stonehouse. Recently, in a thick-as-absolute-fuck attempt to show the majority how clever she is, she tweeted a picture of a Gibraltar £20 note, along with the statement, I quote " £20 Gibraltar Sterling. a fine example of an independent country using the pound. No more scaremongers". I emailed the cunt and pointed out to her that Gibraltar is actually a British Overseas Territory, a country under the jurisdiction and sovereignty of the United Kingdom and therefore perfectly capable of using the pound in a currency union with the Bank of England as a lender of last resort, whereas an independent Scotland obviously wouldn't be and could she please return an email confirming her position on such. Thick cunt took it off Twatter almost immediately, but still hasn't replied. I think it might have been where I asked her if she had Down Syndrome. Thick fat cunt.

Adders. Can you please, for the fucking love of god, revive dirty cupboards and email me the thread pictures..just for my archive, naturally.

I don't suppose there's any point in giving any of you poverty-stricken cunts a guided tour of my Q5. Needless to say, all people driving BMWs and Mercedes are bastard peasants, homosexuals, or crack-dealers, but mainly homosexuals. We don't indicate, because we don't have to. You Focus and Peugeot-driving scum have to give way to us, because that's just the way it is. Take comfort in the fact that you're several rungs up from the Harley "rider".

Well, yes, she was a bit of a cunt. But her biggest ally during the miners' strike was the folly and blinkered obstinacy of a certain Arthur Scargill. The trigger for the strike was the NCB's alleged plan to close down Cortonwood mine..except there was no such plan. Scargill's pathological aversion to inconvenient fact, his intransigence and the lack of any colleagues, or in the TUC, or Kinnock to actually stand up to him, led to the utter defeat of the miners. He was also the author of not only the destruction of the miners' union, but of trades' unionism in general in Britain. Just as big a cunt as Thatcher ever was.

I kind of liked some of King Crimson stuff. There's no denying that Fripp's a good guitarist, but equally no denying his Telytubby wife's a completely talentless cunt.

I couldn't work out what was actually fucking wrong with that toilet in the picture at first. Then it struck me. It has no lid and there's no graffiti.

Yeah. Could pluck a few banjo-strings at Elm Guest House too, by all accounts. Did a good rendition of Knees up Mother Brown ( fancy a cruise on Morning Cloud?). I might have made that subtitle up, maybe not. Sir Alec Douglas-Home was a cunt.

It's dogging verbiage. It's for when you get to the vinegar strokes at the passenger window, there's a complimentary Hungarian Komondor for you to wipe your cock on.

Yeah, a nice Trophy single carb 650, or an old Bonneville.That's a proper man's bike.

So it was. I liked the bit when Thumper showed him how to skate.

I think it'd be fairer if Miss P and Mrs R just send me and Drew some laminated tribute photos and we'll try and sort out all the upheaval at this end.

Didn't this cunt kill his family with a shotgun?

For fuck's sake, Bronski. You need to get a real woman to wrap her thighs around your neck; and no, I don't mean your fucking mum.

So, I come back home from an arduous and prolonged appointment to be met by my mail. Having sent off for a free trial barbecue marinade before it hits the shelves and an updated tool catalogue, this is what met me at my door. My bellend of a postman must think I'm some sort of sexual deviant. Who the fuck prints Meat Lust on a fucking envelope apart from porn shops on the Portobello Road? Fucking bastard cunts.

That's not special forces training, it's special needs training.

Fuck that for a game of jihadis, apple. Grab that bint at work, take her to Wetherspoons for a carvery lunch and a pint, then fuck the shit out of her. We're rooting for you. Get back to us and tell us how you get on. Steer clear of the cranberry sauce, though..unless you smear it over her tits. If so, a picture or two wouldn't go amiss.

Better watch, Dukes. The fat security cunt at the exit door who has more chance of catching a cold than a fucking shoplifter and smelling of date-expired Brie is Bronski's mate wearing a US Marine's forage cap and hanging out of his mum's blue waffle.

Fuck me. I just watched that today, 7s.

I sense you are unhappy, Andy. What has brought this sudden cynical happenstance to your door? Has your boyfriend left you?

You seem to uncannilly be describing Bronski.

Yeah, Bronski seems like the kind of cunt who'd smear his genitalia with Whiskas Filet Mignon (in meaty juices) and thumb-fuck a Calimero plushie.

Yeah. I just watched it. It'd be like handing the keys to a Formula 1 car to Stephen Fucking Hawking.

Ah Fends, you and the Rev never disappoint. No matter how low the degradation or filth, you pair are always one step ahead, and indeed, morally redundant.

I might be able to dig out Nuns On The Job. It's on Super 8, but I've never seen two Carmelite Mendicants giving it the fucking beans with a double-ender any better.

The cramps were a pretty good beat combo as I recall.

Yeah. Ivy Rorschach and her Gretsch 6120J. Two reasons to masturbate to the Cramps.

I wish that one who went bonkers in Black Narcissus got them out for the lads. Her and that gypsy dancer rolling about naked and oiled up in an inflatable pool of half-set jelly wearing nipple-tassels would have done it for me.

Cramp during the vinegar strokes is a real hazard for the more mature lady or gentleman (delete as appropriate, depending on who is on top.) Once, by the time I'd realised Mrs Baws wasn't just faking her usual multiple orgasm, she'd almost gone into full cardiac arrest!

Yeah, Grumps and I remember that night very well.