Cap'n Cunt

I'd like to confess to kicking this smarmy cunt in the head. Unfortunately I can't cos I never done it.

11 hours ago, Glowworm said:

You are getting at the "here I am" ads .. one's shows a young downs sticking her tongue out and another shows a downs lad wearing boxing gloves ready to give someone a thumping, whilst to those advertising executives and to the Mencap/Scope bosses they look edgy they are actually more likely to cause normal looking equally or even less intelligent chavs and chavettes to see it as some sort of challenge the next time they see a downs syndrome cunt. TBH the charities should be spending money on things that will actually improve the lives downs individuals rather than wasting it on advertising agengies.

Does anyone know where they stage Junior Mongboxing bouts? Asking for a non-existant friend.

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I avoid sunlight. Those Africans spend all their time being bombarded with it, and look what happened to them. I don't want to be dark brown with ridiculous pink hands and feet.

You might grow a bigger cock though.

I don't see anything 'gay' (based on the apparently outdated definition of the word before it was hijacked by bummers) about having your arsehole fisted, or sticking your cock up a shit-encrusted ringpiece. The appropriation of the word 'gay' was quite a good marketing strategy, it evoked images of public-school chums mincing through verdant pastures and laughing like carefree girls. The grim reality is somewhat less wholesome.

Lezzers are OK, though, apart from the dykey ones.

On 20/07/2019 at 08:52, See you said:

Had a five minute look at the posts on here, boring half baked, semi literate often racist shite. Key board warriors with no life. Boring smelly middle aged men, get a shower and put if the house. Pricks

I must say I'm getting pissed off with people who use the word 'racist' as some sort of insult. If someone calls me a racist, I take it that it signifies I have won the argument. The fact that I don't like slopes or sooties is largely irrelevant, as I dislike bummers too.

11 hours ago, DrCunt said:

So Alan Turing will appear on the new £50 from 2021. Nothing to do with him being a bender of course.

It goes without saying that the best place to securely stash these shall be a closet.

One presumes that them Cockneys will thereafter refer to £50 as 'a bummer',  rather than 'a bullseye'?

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Are you weeping like a willow? 

Nice one, Gyps. I got it

And he's a smarmy cunt. I forgot to mention that.

Does no-one else see this Gove/cocaine crap as a pathetic attempt to show that he's human, with human failings, but really just a nice bloke\ he's 'down with the kids'\ 'Hey, I'm a fucking drug addict, all you smack heads should vote for me'? Attention-seeking, desperate, cunt-faced cunt. I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. Unless I could piss petrol. I want him dead, and soon.

5 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Dont push them in front a train Neil, it fucks up the entire timetable and some poor cunt has to scrape up all the bits. Did I tell you about my cousin finding the top of some fuckers skull, two weeks after?

How much did he sell it for?

I'd pay good money to watch a big man of colour fuck him up the arse whilst he's bent over his office desk squealing for his mummy.

I see Gove is set to give away 3 million British passports to various foreigners who have professed to live here for five years. But I'll still have to pay for mine. I hope the slimy cunt is going to pay for them from his own pocket, though I somehow doubt it. Cunt.

2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Haha, noisey eater indeed! Serves the slitty bitch quite right.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/octopus-eat-alive-attack-face-girl-vlogger-live-stream-video-a8904911.html?amp

She was trying to suck it's cock. Filthy fucking slope.

I'm not even sure what it is. It looks like someone has done a bad job of photoshopping my nan.

11 minutes ago, ratcum said:

The IRA are fighting lesbians, because no one else will

I'd pay to watch lesbians fighting, though.

Is this that woman that got shot to fuck by the IRA last week? I don't really care either way. If you're going to stick your nose into other people's affairs under the guise of 'being a journalist' then you're just a nosy fucker and you should get a proper job. 

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's the trouble. The women have changed now as well. If you are a real bloke, they view you as some kind of dangerous Neanderthal and are 'fwightened'.

Men must either be faggots, or submissive little wimps who are physically inferior to their girlfriends or wives and do as they're told. Look at men in adverts. Holding a baby and hoovering, while their women  snap their fingers and make all the decisions. 

I don't watch adverts, Eric. Too many darkies in them these days.

1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Don't forget Pen!  If you want a preview, just take some wire wool pads and rub your cock furiously.  His dried up arse will have about the same effect, except you'll be treated to that ghastly fucking stench as well.  

You've done both, then?

I think this LBGT shit is great. Sooner or later all the blokes will have turned into women or bummers, and I'll get to fuck all the wimmin. But not the ones that used to be men, or the butch lezzers, obviously. Or Gyps.

ZZR1400. Black as fuck.

Fraser Anning (Australian senator) might be seen as a bit of a cunt by some people, having proclaimed that the Muslim massacre in New Zealand was caused by too many Muslims being in New Zealand. Some might say he's a bit of a cunt, some might see the logic in his thinking. Enter Egg Boy, who thinks it's a jolly wheeze to smash an egg on Fraser Anning's head. Exit Egg Boy, having been punched in the gob a couple of times by Mr. Anning. A good thing, in my opinion. I'd like to see more violence in politics as a whole, and Westminster in particular. Anyway, a bunch of Lefties have started one of their ubiquitous fucking crowdfunding things in support of Egg Boy. Have these fuckers got nothing better to spend their money on, FFS? Thankfully, Egg Boy has promised to give at least some of this money to people who may pretend to be related to the dead Muslims, so everybody wins, really.

On 16/03/2019 at 23:02, Wizardsleeve said:

All of us enjoy the commentary of cuntfuckery here on these hallowed pages, but how many times do we share experiences of shit cuntery we see with our own eyes, in the here and now?  I did just that on a very late satellite broadcast of a game of Lacrosse from the States.  Over there, they have men's and women's teams at their "college" level, and in this particular match-up, the visiting team stayed on their sideline for the halftime period.  The girls had just made themselves cozy in front of a portable propane heater, when some soulless cunt stepped up the heater and turned the fucking thing off.  The birds turned their heads, looking at each other in disbelief, as the wanker strolled away.  They hadn't even been settled for a full minute, not even enough time to warm their hands.  

If you are unfamiliar with this sport, it is fast moving.  The men, much like in their version of "football," are clad in protective gear from tip to toe.  The ladies are not.  They get a pair of sport goggles for eye protection, and their kit.  They also have a larger field of play than the blokes...IMO, they play a harder game, and they are always running.  So, to have just a few minutes to warm up, and some miserable tosser shut the thing down, that's a fucking cunt!

It's a shame they were girls. Otherwise they'd have known how to switch the fucking thing back on.

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I had a lump of C4,

it was the bomb.

I had a C130. It was a bit plain.

On 10/03/2019 at 20:49, Roadkill said:

Emmanuel Macron - best known for being that weirdo who married his paedo school teacher - but also President of France, clearly enjoys being told what to do by people more important than him. His recent calls of numerous reforms within the EU to trigger a "renaissance" have the distinctive characteristics of something written by a naughty little submissive just after they've had the hot candle wax poured over their bollocks and been made to read out loud to a room full of wanking gimps whilst their dominatrix stands behind whipping them to climax.

The proposed reforms consist of a number of things - there's a "European Agency for the Protection of Democracies" - which will increase the stranglehold the EU already has over the internet and reduce the spread of "fake news" and ban foreign powers from funding European national parties (AKA the filthy Right), a "European Council for Internal Security" - which will impose a Europe-wide border force agency - removing that annoying nuisance of individual countries within the Union closing their borders to immigrants, an "EU Minimum Wage" - which would be provided in a manner "appropriate to each country" again freeing individual countries within the Union of this responsibility, and last but not least a "European Food Safety Force" - which (presumably) will drive around in armoured cars pulling over lorries carrying food and finger the mince.

If I was a cynical man I'd have to say imposing complete control over the internet, borders, money and food of every country within a Union which they joined long before such rules were in place was a bit sinister - but I'm sure that if the great democracy that is the EU hears any complaint from its members the reforms will be altered accordingly. After all - its not like little Emmanuel is being used as a puppet for some dark and sinister force intent upon complete control over everything within its borders. After all, I'm sure his Latin teacher and future wife Mrs. Trogneux is the only person to ever have her hand up his arse.

I once owned a Citroen C8, and it was absolute shite.

On 22/02/2019 at 14:42, cooze said:

Peter Tork was not a cunt, the Monkees were a pretty good 'pop' band in their day, they were/are pretty decent musicians and songwriters, try Finding stuff by Mike Nesmith on YouTube(if you can be bothered).

Some of you cunts need to quit wanking over Little Mix and Spice Girls videos and get a musical education.

Cunts!

Who's that twat shaking a K&N air filter off of a Suzuki GT250? Weird cunt.