Cap'n Cunt

10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's a shame they can't re-enact the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki using Cork and Limerick, but I fear that would fall foul of authenticity guidelines.

I'd rather they re-enacted the potato famine. 

8 hours ago, scotty said:

It's like licking out your sister. 

It tastes the same, but it's just not right. 

When did you lick out my sister?

3 hours ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

Britain is currently in the middle of developing pilotless fighter jets, remind me what spud land is currently developing?

Lol.

 

Non-alcoholic Guinness.

Well, I'd like to see some lesbian turtles 'getting it on'.

Nothing wrong with a bit of motorboating. 

It's not termites, it's ants. You fucking mong.

5 minutes ago, Tanusha said:

"Simon Hughes

June 28 at 10:53 PM ·

#ENGBEL - and now reality check! England population 55 million. Tunisia 11m, Panama 4 m, Belgium 11m - and Colombia ...49m! We meet nearly our match at last. And in Southwark with big numbers of great England & great Colombia supporters things will be rocking!".

I bet England has more darkies than Colombia

They're trying to fight fire with fire. Never a good idea.

It's rather irrelevant what this thing identifies itself as. Nobody's ever going to want to fuck it.

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A suspicious package has exploded, injuring a few people at a London Underground station. 

The lying fucking police are releasing statements to the effect that, "they do not believe the incident to be terror related". What the fucking fuck! Any bomb left to explode in a public place is fucking terror related in one way or another. Or perhaps it was just one of those bombs that normal people carry around every day and was simply misplaced, a child's entry to his schools science fair 'bomb competition' maybe. Ffs! 

We've reached a level of PC media manipulation that will soon see an incident of a Muslim man, running around London, stabbing and shooting people being described as  "not believed to be terror related"

I eagerly await the explanation of the bomb detonation, I'm sure it will turn out to be a misplaced shopping bag, containing one of those bombs that they sell in Waitrose. The police seem to think everybody's as thick as they clearly are.

Next time I leave a bomb lying around, I'll ensure it's in a bag clearly labelled 'bomb', thereby making it less suspicious.

4 minutes ago, NORMAN WISDOM'S COCK said:

I'm thinking of changing my name to "MOTHER THERESA'S GASH"

You might want to look up the spelling of 'Teresa' before you do that.

The fact that they all look the same dusturbs me. And it IS a fact... http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/06/13/dead-husband-turns-up-alive-nearly-year-after-wife-given-wrong-body.html

Ex-leader of the Conservative Party (for about ten minutes) and pointlessly-knighted Hague is calling for the legalisation of cannabis, as it's proving to be too difficult to stop people growing and using it. What next? Suckdick Khan legalising machete attacks because it's too difficult to police? When the government give up on things because it's too hard, we're in deep shit. 

11 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You think that's bad, I bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav and it was awful. It kept telling me to turn round, and every now and then it fell apart. 

I had one too. I ended up lost in France.

21 hours ago, Penelope said:

No that would have been if she was speaking to you.

I rarely engage in conversation with the lower classes, however I've made an exception in your case. Fuck off.

4 minutes ago, Penelope said:

TBH I do find some of their staff squeemish .. I went to the local Sainsburys caff after my hospital visit and was just telling the woman about the injection in my eye and she kept saying "too much information".

What she really meant was "I'm on a minimum wage zero-hours contract and I'm not paid enough to listen to the ramblings of a senile hermaphrodite"

I bet you won't be whining if you end up sitting next to a Thai ladyboy who sucks you off over the Alps. 

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You'd be better off shooting some slaves and having the Germans do the gardening with their uncompromising efficiency.

Yeah, but then they might open my garden gate and let in lots of Africans.

5 hours ago, luke swarm said:

 I agree with some of your points and yes this subject needs to be brought out into the sunlight, I just don't think that Mr Robinson is the messiah that we have all been waiting for, he is incoherent and inconsistent and his motives are not wholly altruistic. We are witnessing a resurgence in the right not just here but all over the world and if history is not to be repeated then good people have to come together to defeat it.

What I wish for more is that the other side of the Islamic world which is not repellent and evil but is moderate and sane would be more forceful and participate in eradicating this vile scourge in its own community. If they do not then this downward spiral will continue and the rabble rousers will attract even more followers.     

I wish history would be repeated. I'd love to shoot some Germans. And perhaps have some slaves to do my gardening.

Can you make false tits out of semtex? (Asking on behalf of a friend).

If the only job you can get is as a voluntary cleaner at the local church, I'm afraid you'll have to put up with it.

People going on holiday to Torquay shouldn't be allowed to drive. Lowlife mouth-breathing spastics. 

If he's a spazz he probably shits himself anyway, so why does he need a toilet?

If I was a doughnut-chomping lardass (which I'm not), I'd hardly make a spectacle of myself by moaning that New Look's 'Morbidly Obese' range of clothing was more expensive than similar items tailored to fit normal people. Maria Wassell, a fat shop assistant from Kent, disagrees. Rather than meekly stump up for a size 28 floral-print tent, she bemoans the fact that she's charged extra for the vast swathes of terylene required to manufacture her clothes, claiming it's 'fat-shaming'. Well, I agree. You're fucking fat, and you should be ashamed of yourself. You will die early, and nobody will want to fuck you. (Well, maybe Neil would, but no-one normal.)

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Terry "Stubby" Nutkins will be along shortly with his 'Ladybird Book of Animals That Begin With the Letter P'

I wonder what absolute fucking bollocks the cunt will come out with next? 

Well, it won't have 'Pangolins' in the latest edition, if the slopes have eaten them all.