Guest Posted August 22, 2014 Report Share Posted August 22, 2014 Now I enjoy curling out a chocolate log as much as the next man. There really is nothing like a good refreshing shite, especially when its a well brewed turd which lands with a graceful plop followed by the relief in your guts, and the glow of satisfaction and pride for your new-born. Sadly, things don't always go as well as this, some deliveries have complications. I seem to be suffering from terminal "Million Wiper" shits, more and more lately, and frankly it's a cunt. No amount of bog roll or wet wipes will defeat the sticky shite which has engulved my arsehole, not to mention the arsehole of fire resulting from half an hour of frantic wiping. These cunts usually creep up on you when you're on your way out in a hurry. It really is quite fucking unreasonable that I can't just go and lay a cable without a day of feeling like my arsehole has been been taken over by fire ants. I wonder if any cunts on here suffer a similar condition? I may have to visit Thailand for an arsehole transplant. I don't know how much more stingy and itchy arsehole I can take. My lastest shite was post curry and frankly right now, I'd love to be fucked up the arse by a gay snowman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 22, 2014 Report Share Posted August 22, 2014 Try a good solvent like paraffin and a rotating wire brush on a cordless drill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted August 22, 2014 Report Share Posted August 22, 2014 I should think an exceptionally spicy curry or Thai take away, or maybe even a greasy kebab would sort out the plumbing. Get the easy clean functionality back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 You could go on strict diet eating nothing at all. That might solve the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 A couple of tins of baked beans might help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 I don't want to steal anyone's thunder, but please kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Eat some fucking bananas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 I always keep a Karcher near the pan, works wonders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 Dress up as a school girl and let Cliff Richard bugger you bloody until your arsehole goes into a coma then you wont feel a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 Dress up as a school girl and let Cliff Richard bugger you bloody until your arsehole goes into a coma then you wont feel a thing. Seems harsh, but on reflection fair. May I also suggest that he hammer half a dozen nails through a golf ball, then nail the golf ball to a stick, and then shove the whole lot up his arse and jiggle it about a bit ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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