Hammer of Cunts

In what way is this the fault of the farmers? How are they being two faced?

Many of the more attractive towns are now infested with retired/downsized wankers and the original pubs sell only over-priced "gourmet" shite and expect the punters to dress smartly. We've even got pub theme- bars with stupid faux-naif names, ridiculous "artisan" beer and walls decorated with photos and trophies found at bootsales. The rest of the pubs are now "sports-bars" with massive tellys and lagered=up teenagers shouting over the noise. In many areas Wetherspoons is the closest thing to a proper pub, where you can have a reasonably priced pint and, as there's no piped music, you can hear what is being said and will, at least, know why the fight started.

Pubs do not sell food, those establishments are called "restaurants".

Mawkish, American-style "Thank-you for your service" crap.

8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You're Thick as a brick 

...Your sperm's in the gutter and your love's in the sink.

17 hours ago, Trucking Funt said:

In other news, Greta the mongoloid is claiming she has the chinky plague. I hope it kills her slowly and takes her chancer parents out as well.

I hope she sticks to her principles and avoids any environmentally-damaging medical equipment and uses only fair-trade organic medicine.

I hate to think what goes in the chalice. I believe some congregations use advocaat rather than wine for extra realism.

10 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Permissible in the event of an aircrash in the Andes...

That wasn't "ritual".

Do you not believe in the physical presence of body and blood of your imaginary friend?

58 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He doesn't swallow.

... but the tranny- substantiation still occurs.

On 22/03/2020 at 11:42, Earl of Punkape said:

We can pray at home you stupid wanker.

What about the ritual cannibalism?

9 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

God has punished mankind before and his wrath is now upon us once again.

Our slip into a Sodom and Gomorrah lifestyle with many practicing depravity and promoting debauchery to the young has tried God’s patience.

Change and repent or perish.

You don't really believe this nonsense do you?

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

As Mrs D is a teacher, her and my three kids will be stuck at home from Monday for the foreseeable future.

What the fuck is the agenda here? For a "global pandemic" that has thus far killed less than 4000 people and has a 95% survival rate, the international reaction has been completely fucking disproportionate.

Either someone somewhere is making a shit load of money from this or something far more sinister is at play.

 

It's a rehearsal for when the shit really hits the fan, they want to know how people will react to an authoritarian government.

The NHS web page that pops up everywhere is noticeably less hysterical about it all.

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I can't honestly see St. Greta and her disciples verbally steaming into the chinese, blaming them for this fiasco, can you? 

Twelve months ago I wouldn't have believed that any administration would do anything other than tell her and her little friends to go back to school.

57 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Is embouchure a cheese? 

Well, it's sometimes got blue veins.

20 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yes - for Punkape

I imagine there's a few here with a well-developed embouchure.

One positive result of the Chinese Lurgy scare is the absence of Greta Thurnberg from the news.

2 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

......those little rubber thingies that go in the bottom of trumpets.

I didn't know trumpets had bottoms, or is "trumpet" a euphemism?

51 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

 We all joined local government because we have a sense of public duty and our priority is to help keep the public safe before ourselves".
 

Local Authorities: Where indolence and incompetence stroll together in the shady groves of job security.

14 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Sounds a bit right wing to me. So no doubt a popular move. I gather there are moves afoot to convert some factories to ventilator production. I do hope they remember the wing roundels and reassuring throb of a Merlin engine. What a time to be alive!

The rhetoric of right and left tend to converge. Like railway lines, the further you look, the closer they become.

8 hours ago, White Cunt said:

Wine in church is fully reserved for the priest performing the ritual of Wine -- Christ’s blood allegory. Pay attention next time, your alcoholic cravings are playing tricks with what’s left of your “mind.

Repent. Join AA (not the car breakdown service)

I don't think a bunch of deluded pederasts indulging in their ritual cannibalism is representative of the general population.

22 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You probably played netball...

Fives.

I expect you were a day-boy.

Stop and Swab.

59 minutes ago, King Billy said:

So does a cock.

It's the same as  sticking your finger in a dyke.

It expands and fills cracks.

11 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

A great game which we played at my public school.However playing professionally was a strict no no...

You played Soccer! Fuck, where did you go? St Custard's?

Jesus Christ! That's fucking grotesque.