Hammer of Cunts

Does your caddy advise you on which "iron" to use today? Or do you like wood?

3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Martin/Roman Kemp, Bradley/George Walsh, Larry/Oliver Lamb. Watching this family chemistry in the context of tediously drawn out formats and sickly dialogue begs the question: what is normal?  Though I know this question is being read through the conjunctivitis swollen eyelids of a selection of the most depraved human specimens on the planet. I suggest that most healthy fathers and sons know the sweet value of apartness and the hollow words begrudgingly whispered between clenched teeth: "Come again soon, boy, you're always welcome." This is such dire TV the only thing to do is throw all these fake happy families into a dark room with a Stanley Knife and a Club Hammer suspended from the ceiling, winner takes all, last man standing, filmed in infra red. That might be worth watching and it least it carries a bit more credibility. 

Don't watch it then. Twat.

I went into town this morning and a local "character" , known as Brian-the Brain was Standing outside Tesco's pointing at a litter bin and (probably literally) wetting himself laughing. He was still there ten minutes later when I came out. Is he one of your aliases or is Childish Harold one of his?

On 14/07/2020 at 22:27, Dawn Chorus said:

Couldn't he be left somewhere to feed the Lammergeier that's taken up residence in the Peak District?

The ossifrage.. from Wiki: "... the only member of the genus Gypaetus." Is there something we're not being told?

26 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Talking to the wrong 'un. 

Oh for god's sake, I thought you'd fucked off.

She's one of the few newsworthy people who hasn't said anything mildly offensive about blacks, poofs or sexchanges, so, if the barrel can't be scraped any further, she'll be the lead item on every news broadcast.

On 12/07/2020 at 23:42, Mrs Roops said:

Used to be, but not any more. 

Paypal takes a cut when you withdraw your money, Ebay sends a bill every month.

Just now, Roadkill said:

I don't think this prick knows what day it is.

On 12/07/2020 at 08:21, Earl of Punkape said:

I mostly play golf these days and I’ve always regarded hunting as slightly ridiculous.However they are a law abiding minority who’s pursuit of a verminous fox hurts nobody else.They brilliantly manage and cherish all the other animals in their possession.

Far more cruelty is caused to animals by shits in inner cities and the ritual Halal slaughter is highly questionable.

Lavretniy Beria was a murdering paedophile.

Hunting is only "slightly ridiculous" compared to golf which goes completely beyond the pale as regards utter fatuousness. 

The animal cruelty of urban wankers is not confined to track-suit wearing chavs; middle-class wankers who buy over-bred fashionable dogs with breathing difficulties and other assorted hereditary defects are shits of the lowest order. Why the fuck would anyone encourage the breeding of animals genetically incapable of leading a happy life? Anyone who buys a Pug, French Bulldog, KC Spaniel etc. should be made to spend the rest their lives breathing through a gas-mask.

The deliberate cruelty of Halal (and Kosher) slaughter is not "questionable" it is obvious and proven,  No-one should be allowed to use fairy stories as an excuse for systematic torture of animals.

On 09/07/2020 at 20:37, ChildeHarold said:

That's pinned you down to the Bedfordshire area circa 1978. If you reply do it through a triple face mask as the R rate in your neck is exploding through the roof. 

Wrong again fucking, Sherlock. I've never been to Bedfordshire.

It's a business opportunity for all those distressed purveyors of over-priced office food. Just move to Kent... Most lorry drivers will happily pay a tenner for a grape salad and a paper cup of weird coffee.

39 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said:

But who is going to do the manicures for brickies,oil-rig workers , dustmen or all those southern jessies ?

If they work hard enough, their nails will be kept trim by natural abrasion. It's a cheap incentive scheme.

Apparently nail-bars, eyebrow pluckers and various "salons" in England will not be allowed to open for a few weeks. This means that a few dim slappers whose entire self-worth relies on tarting up their nails/hair/eyebrows etc. will have to stay at home and hide. Well fucking boo-hoo; the world will be happy to get along without them.

Why the fuck the exchequer is paying to furlough a bunch of vapid bints with no ambition other than cutting other people's fingernails is beyond me. They should be retrained as brickies, oil-rig workers or dustmen.

The same goes for "boutiques" (whatever they are).

 I've only ever been to a nightclub once; we saw the Baron Nights and ate chicken in the basket. The young women serving us were very nice but not over-familiar. It was quite pleasant but the beer was expensive. I haven't bothered since. I've seen more debauchery at the Hunt Ball.

Quote

 

1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said:

Fuck off,,,,,, NOW. Stick your comma up your arse. 

An ellipsis should be indicated by three full-stops; the use of six commas suggests either illiteracy or a jammed keyboard.

Stylistically, you missed a rare opportunity to use an exclamation mark.

W.Indies fisted while they were genuflecting; there's no reply to that with only wrist action.

All that virtue didn't prevent 204 all out.

21 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

The police are more likely to have profiled a Merc with very tinted windows and wanted to know who was driving it and what was inside it. I know from the days when I had a minivan and the a BL Princess with tinted windows that the fuzz like to be able to see inside the car and also do lot like it if they cannot see the driver.

Fucking hell You never said you were posh. Do you live in Cheshire?

9 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

You're a drug dealer and have ruined dozen of innocent lives. You then find god and realise that you need to atone for those lives that you have ruined so you take up god's cause and kill more innocent people in his name. Sounds reasonable in a god fearing world.

It's a traditional practice and it would be culturally insensitive to intervene.

13 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Please Sir can you fuck off? 

Yes, I can but I won't. Why should I?

There should be a comma after "Sir".

This may help you to understand how to use the language:

https://tinyurl.com/yc972tkh

Are you a foreigner?

Or a boy named Sue.

41 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I would like you to repeat that while gobbling a plate of Prezzo's finest thanks to that gibbering monkey in the background's August voucher scheme. I bet the table cloth would be unusable. 

You're not very good at punctuation, are you?

2 hours ago, Trucking Funt said:

I think what is going to form the backbone of Maxwell's defence is that Captain Bob died and left her destitute then she met Epstein who financially coerced her into becoming Madame Debauchery under further threat of being exposed for collusion if she left or he were ever exposed. There's even a criminal offence for that type of thing in the UK that many women have accused their unwanted partners of to fuck him over and relieve him of his money. It's called Coercive control.

She was down to £100,000pa from her trust fund. Poverty like that explains a lot; the poor bitch was only £99,999.25 away from having to shoplift in Lidl.

Is his 'n' hers matching hair a thing nowadays?

15 hours ago, Cillian Murphy said:

Sorry, Ill have to explain. Back in the old days, you were n`t allowed to post unless you had a avatar.. Bad spelling and grammar , was also frowned upon

Back in "the old days" one would have  used an apostrophe in "I'll, not used a space in weren't and  used an and not a before avatar (which starts with a vowel). The space between grammar and the comma is incorrect and there is no final full-stop.

Apparently, one is, nowadays allowed to post without an avatar; this is something that has changed, unlike grammar.

If you are unable to understand posts without pictures, perhaps you could ask someone else to explain.