Hammer of Cunts

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

When is your school reopening?

He doesn't sound like he's been to school very much.

The experimental mined-control at the start of this worked so well that many are now too nervous to go outside, grateful that the government has "put its arms around them": basking in unaffordable security and loth to go back into the big, bad world  To lift the restrictions there has to be a way of letting people know that they're actually quite safe, without admitting that the whole thing was a bit of a damp squib in the first place. Thirty-five thousand-odd dead is obviously sad but, after all, it's only a smallish football crowd. The Oxford vaccine trials are having trouble finding enough sufferers to work with.

2 hours ago, Joker said:

Why're they giving them the easy way out?

Just becaws.

I was inspired to nominate "Collectors" because of the mockney old Etonian millionaire ex-junky and the shrieking Liverpudlians. This sort of thing gives tat a bad name.

The autojumble one is even worse.

6 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

In the type of neighbourhood you reside painting paediatrician on your front door would be sufficient for you get a hiding and burnt out....

lol.

They're too busy, out shooting corvids. The black ones mainly.

Bismillah.

3 hours ago, King Billy said:

Punkers favourite is Brighton Cock.

According to Wikipedia, he was in something called "Closing the Ring"; that doesn't sound so promising for the special interest groups.

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

'Pinkie'. Good film. Decent director as well. Wasn't too keen on that anti-Caucasian South Africa one though. 'Cry Freedom' I think.

He wasn't in that owing to positive discrimination in the casting. He was in charge of telling them how to emote. Set Peter Gabriel off though.

1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I preffered him in 10 Rillington Place but I have to admit a certain sympathy for Dick having to share his mums tits with his self entitled animal porn presenter brother.

Brighton Rock was good too.

The presenters were, apparently shagging each other senseless. Christopher Trace had to leave because of it.

11 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Does your golf bag have a false bottom where you keep your supply of poppers, fisting butter and emergency gimp suit should you encounter a kinky one with more than spare change?

Does your wife wash said gimp suit for you or is it a jet wash job?

The discerning golfer would have no truck with "false bottoms" and would use only the real thing.

12 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Tis a magic place
Where the moon doth rise with a dragon's face
Where the virgins lie
And the prayers of devils fill the midnight sky

Yeah, that's the sort of thing, new-age twaddle.

These pricks have been told that they can't play out their silly fantasies at Stonehenge this year. It's about time that someone pointed out that modern "druids" have absolutely no connection with ancient druids and neither group have any connection with, nor knowledge of, the builders or the original use of the monument. 

People should just stick to shooting birds at little green pigs. It's more realistic.

2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

She looks happy, I wonder who she's got under there?

The enthusiasm will soon wear off when it starts raining.

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's almost as if they think people outside their own little circle jerk Facebook groups actually care what they say. Every time a BBC presenter reads out a tweet from a member of the public, it's like a nail in my heart.

Almost any news report ends with an asinine vox pop  from the mouth-breathers of Twitter, pouring out ill-informed subjective shite. It's either lazy journalism or a plot to stop us thinking beyond our own initial reactions.

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

 great-grandads cowardice medals,  

OK, so almost everyone got Pip, Squeak and Wilfred, but why "cowardice medals"?

1 hour ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Has it not occurred to you that the reason they do it is so that they can see their own or their childrens work on the television and internet and can show all their friends and others just how clever and caring they are?

Yes, it has. If they put it  on a fridge, in a window or on daytime  telly; Fine. I don't want to see this bolllocks when I'm trying to watch the grown-up news.

It's not though; this maundering drivel is all over the place: on posters, on the sides of what buses are still running, shop and house windows. Everywhere you go there's some dimwitted cunt trying to show that they care more than you aout things that they don't understand.

Who the fuck wants to see toddlers in Gateshead making a shitstabers' flag or Auntie Edna's recipe for fucking "lockdown soup"?

Are they trying to turn us all into women or something?

Every bloody news broadcast now spends half its fucking time explaining how bad life is for one or another group of people whose shit lives are presumably meant to be an inspiration to us all.

Who really wants to know about a bunch of schoolchildren crocheting their own face-masks and painting rainbows on the fence?

Just give us the fucking facts; if I want infantile tips on avoiding boredom, I'll watch blue Peter.

See if you can find Secret Army, the pervasive sense of dread seems appropriate.

I'd imagine Boris was quite sympathetic.

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Mel Gibson is a good Catholic.

He's a sedevacantist. Do you like an empty seat?

It'd look good stretched out in front of the hearth too.