Hammer of Cunts

8 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

The women aren’t on trial..

Obviously not, but if they are proven to be liars then they should be named, face criminal charges for wasting police time and a civil case for defamation.

Mohammed won't be a politician, he'll be a "community leader". This allows him to pontificate, in an impenetrable accent, on subjects he doesn't understand and avoid all responsibility and/or work. So no great difference really.

I hope they'll be issued with the correct PPE for today's urban parkland environment.

Maybe they could run a recycled needle bank.

These superior invasive wombles will eventually drive out British wombles, which will survive only in isolated colonies.

Have we learnt nothing from squirrels?

Why not just smack them back? I would.

12 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

 

Fuck me! I'd forgotten that. I wish you hadn't reminded me, it's truly vile.

3 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

I bet that real men call it kwitche.

Egg and bacon pie.

2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

The Aryan master race blindly sleepwalked into their own nation's destruction on the words of a Austrian corporal.

I think it was a bit more complicated than that.

11 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Lifeboat.  We may have to kill and eat one of our number. 

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

If you suggested underage children they may have been more receptive as that appears to be the preferred choice for their religion, as practised by Mohammed, Peace be upon him.

I'm trying to upset them, not excite them.

It  wasn't the sort of pub where strangers were welcome. Happy times!

I assume that any asian sounding women that call are muslims, I talk very nicely to them to gain their confidence and then begin to suggest that they have sex with pigs and/or dogs and describe the process in some detail. They quite oten seem too stunned to hang up and I've heard some very sucessful screams. I hope they go home and kill themselves.

34 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

When was this exactly? 

Within living memory. One day Bob, the landlord bought a case of Stella to try and we sort of looked at it and poked it with a stick. It wasn't until an away quoits match in town. where they had it on draught, that we realised that it's meant to be cold. Bob was too tight to buy a chiller so he never got any more in.

Alright?

When I was young and skint enough to work behind a bar, pubs didn't sell wine and lager was for women, puffs and foreigners. Real men drank mild.

I bet this would upset a few as well:

Humour doesn't cross cultural boundaries. Young people are more alien to grown-ups than ever before and their frames of reference don't chime with ours. They admire hypocrisy and taking offence.

Censorious interference is not a new phenomenon:

At least, in 1957, it could be derided.

6 hours ago, Cunt-End Of The World said:

Can't blame them, they are specifically recruited based upon their thick-as-shitness creating an admin horror show around the burglary of your home and have the ability to nod to superiors when asked to blow the face off an innocent Brazilian on the tube. 

The only people who join the police these days are twats who like uniforms but are too stupid or unfit for the armed forces.

36 minutes ago, Terrible Ted said:

No one invented humanity and humanity did not invent mathematics. That would exist regardless of anyone having a concept of it. I'll give you universities but only because I couldn't be bothered to draw a distinction between Arabic Africans and proper Africans.

Whether mathematics is discovered or invented is irrelevant. The first humans came from Central Africa and their decsendants discovered/invented everything. Do you despise North Africans with a different form of bigotry or is your ignorance universal?

These are often the same cunts who say: eksetera and nukular.

8 hours ago, Terrible Ted said:

Despite your fervent assertions, I'd say the ball remains very much in your court. Do you want to play the African Inventions Game? The rules are simple: you just have to name as many African scientific and cultural achievements as you can think of. You'll need help (I apologise if you're sick of hearing the same word uttered by psychiatrists and sex clinics), so I'll start you off, thus:

1. Bongos
2. Bicycle theft

The game continues until you realise that, in fact, there aren't any.

And 'blowhard'? What are you, some Yankee teenager with an about-face baseball cap? If so, I suggest you fuck off back across the pond and stop lowering the tone of Norwich.

We could start with writing, mathematics, universities and err... humanity itself.

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

Priests are also renowned for entering through the back door.

And their very black socks.

I went to school with a Nigerian prince, nice bloke but thick as two short planks. He was about twenty-five and stil trying to pass an A-level.

The father of one of my friends promoted Amin from the ranks, in Kenya.

No-one knows they're there; they go in through the back door.

Smoke on the water...