KingRollo

10 hours ago, Wolfie said:

But you just did.

I wouldn't expect anything less – you're in desperate need of clawing back some credit after I kicked your arse in just about every encounter we had the other day. Faggot.

C'mon Wolfie, don't be such a crybaby.  This ain't nursery school...

17 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Don't you think your overly contrived attempts at a surreal children's character on an adult website wore thin after your first handful of comments? Seriously, you really do come across as being one fucking creepy cunt – and it appears I'm not alone in my thoughts:

 

 

 

Come now, Wolfie.  Nobody is who they pretend to be on this site!  Am I really a king? Is GG really an aspidistra from Arg? Is Punkape really a golfing cottager from Tower Hamlets? Are you really a precious petal who needs to rally your friends around you to sort out a playground tiff because you don't like the way Roops gives out likes?

16 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

Try and put your title to one side for a few posts, Rolly.

I have found you amusing so far, but it's time to shed the cocoon of the Kingdom, and shine in your own right. 

Ok Major, just for you, I will! Might take me a little while mind you...

13 hours ago, King Billy said:

She’s been working her charm on a couple of FBI chaps all day. Trying to clear up that misunderstanding young Andrew got himself mixed up in. I think it must be going well as there’s been a lot of loud shrieks of delight echoing through the castle this afternoon. A truly amazing woman she is.

She must be good if she can distract the FBI from their enquiries about Master York's dubious past!  What's her secret?

3 hours ago, Wolfie said:

 

While a tiny part of me admires your defence of @Mrs Roops, who I notice has awarded a trio of rare likes in support of recent anti-Wolf comments (I've obviously mastered how to get right on her fucking tits, hence the reason why), perhaps you might like to know the draconian bicycle has in the past hurled more completely unprovoked character assassinations on several punters, myself included, than anyone else. I will however forgive both of you for clearly being too inexperienced to have known this.

It's strange, therefore, two Corner amateurs should think I am in need of their advice on how to comment.

Well thank you for the admiration Wolfie - to quote Punkape, I'll take it where I can get it.

I am also indebted to you for explaining the situation although I must confess, being an amateur and all, that I do struggle to understand why anybody would take a blind bit of notice about so-called character assisination on a site like this. By it's very nature, one is likely to come across more than one's fair share of people who "talk a good fight", wouldn't you agree?

I'd also like to clarify that my earlier comment vis-a-vis Madame Roops was merely a reflection on my own thoughts and in no way an attempt to advise you as to how to address a lady, heaven forfend! 

Thank you Wolfie. It is always such a pleasure and to show no ill feeling, I have given you a like.

KR

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

What crystals? You had me at aspidistra leaf! What has she had up there then? 

Hamburger stands... no hamburgers though...

11 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Suitcases are outlawed in Arg. Even I am forbidden to own one and it's my gaff! Perhaps Gwen would be a mule. I would handle the search personally and declare her clean.  I trust that won't be a problem? 

She's had many things up there, GG, but an aspidistra leaf would be a novelty, even for her.  What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger eh?  Do you want the Wayne Sleep or the Louie Spence crystals? I trust these will suffice and the vortex is not something we should worry about?

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

I think you’ll find it’s edible Eric. She’s laughing at you. Rollos watching your futile efforts on FaceTime. I phone in one hand and I’m sure you can guess what in his other hand,

My mighty sceptre!  Polished to a shine.

12 hours ago, King Billy said:

The peasants really are revolting Your Majesty. I trust everything is shipshape over at Rolloland?

HRH KB.

Truly revolting peasants, I agree. All is A1 at Lloyds over here - how's your good lady Queen?

38 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

@KingRollo, your Queen is most welcome but NOT Wizard. 

Believe me, GG, he had his passport confiscated years ago.  You have nothing to fear - if he leaves the Kingdom again, I don't have enough gold to bribe the various authorities who are after his head.  However, he has offered to put a couple of crystals for you in my suitcase.  I am happy to bring you some "dancing juice" but on the strict understanding that I can bypass customs and there will be no cavity searches. Agreed?

1 hour ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

Rushed off my feet, off to do some gardening for a relative, which I'm sure is good exercise, but I know I'm going to be exhausted and filthy and covered in thorns by this evening.  

Punkape is usually exhausted, filthy and covered in thorns most evenings.

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

As best as you can remember, what did he say after you destroyed his computer? 

"Jesus Rollo, you're cackhanded!"

4 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

I imagine he had his plastic toy golf clubs with him to enrich the experience... 

KR, was Daley Thompson your childhood hero? I had a game called Daley Thompson's Decathlon many moons ago. 

I was more an afficionado of DTST (Supertest) - nearly wore out the keys on my ZX Spectrum with that.  Wizard was not impressed...

8 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

I actually like his style a lot.  Christ knows he is a lot better than I'll ever be on CC but sometimes he goes a bit mental.

I believe that he hates being corrected by intelligent women, and when his ego develops a fresh bruise, somebody has got to pay. Sometimes that someone is me.

Anyway, how are you KR, and what news comes from your mighty kingdom? 

Come now, GG, don't be so modest. Socratic aspidistras are few and far between, you know.  And yes, Wolfie has style but he needs to develop a thicker skin (fur?) when sparring with the corner's equivalent of Nicola Adams:

Yes, all is well in the Kingdom.  We are currently preparing for the weekly round up of executions - I'll have to get the guards to keep a special watch-out for Punkape. He was caught doing terrible things to the corpses last time...

On 03/08/2020 at 11:01, Gronda Gronda said:

Well of course I am already familiar with your open corner topic. You begged for me to notice it and so to be nice, I responded, which was gratuitous because it was predictable puerile rubbish. 

Now, stop being silly.  What you wrote previously was uncalled for, so be an adult and show some contrition. 

I agree, GG.  Wizard always said to me, "Rollo, manners maketh the man"... (Ironic, since he should really address me as 'Your Majesty', but for the sake of the point I'm trying to make, I will overlook this detail.)  Anyway, it makes me sad to see such an upstanding, erudite and deeply sincere member of the corner such as Wolfie make a total ass out of himself by setting up noms, dropping names of fellow cornerites, and then giving them grief for responding.  The right of reply is not negotiable, young Wolfling, you ought to know better.  Also, saying mean things about Roops just because she knows more than you do is hardly the gentlemanly thing to do, is it?

When Wizard felt that I had forgotten his lessons in manners, a sharp reminder (which involved a pointy staff and a lot of pain) was the usual recourse.  I sincerely hope it doesn't come down to such antics here. You won't like it!

On 01/08/2020 at 20:13, Weary&Disgusted said:

How did we get onto the topic of teeth and dentistry anyway ?  

Why did King Rollo go to the dentist ?  

To get a new crown.  

*Baddum - Tish*

Actually, the preferred method of dental treatment in the castle involves a piece of string, a heavy wooden door and a sadistic Wizard. I fear he has dark motives for rendering the whole court toothless...

6 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

And if Wizard says no booze? 

Wizard's literally the last person in the Kingdom to prohibit a late night tipple.  The man is permanently hungover. I mean, look at him:

Like the lovechild of Victor Meldrew and Jimmy Hill.

9 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

KR, I know of a song in an advert which used to run some years back that I think would be right up your alley. 

It's the R. White's lemonade advert with the guy coming down the stairs.  I would link it, but I can't be arsed, so get back to me after you YT it. 

Did you ever do the pat-pat of your back pocket a la Asda adverts in the '80s?  I am sure Punkape did (though possibly not his own back pocket...)

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

We all know what he drinks and it ain't no secret.

When queen Gwen catches you at the fridge door, about to pour yourself some R. White's lemonade at midnight, what do you tell her? 

To get the vodka and make a night of it!

7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The bloke who sang 'secret lemonade drinker' was Ross McManus, who in real life was Elvis Costello's dad. 

I'm afraid I am unaware of the lineage of the Labrador that he almost tripped over on the stairs. Hope that helps.

R-Whites cream soda was the bestest thing about the 80s though. 

Too sweet. Couldn't stand it...

8 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

KR, I know of a song in an advert which used to run some years back that I think would be right up your alley. 

It's the R. White's lemonade advert with the guy coming down the stairs.  I would link it, but I can't be arsed, so get back to me after you YT it. 

I am indeed a secret lemonade drinker.  What do you imagine Punkape drinks in secret?

On 27/07/2020 at 18:23, Gronda Gronda said:

It's not a problem.  If someone else made that oboe post, you would have probably made some disparaging remark and I wouldn't have blamed you, as it was the kind of thing that ChildeHarold would think up.

Do you prefer Wham or Soft Cell? 

 

Definitely Soft Cell for Punky... I reckon he aspires to be the next Marc Almond:

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

If you were a conductor you would probably try and ram an Oboe up your own arse...

lol.

You'd opt for the bassoon...

9 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Here is a cunt who deserves to be known far and wide, as for the bloke with her .. what a cunt!

https://www.rt.com/sport/484358-kazakh-bodybuilder-sex-doll-marriage-coronavirus/

It's a bloody OUTRAGE that's what it is!  This is just a thinly veiled attempt to disguise the fact that some utter bastard is producing "Queen Gwen Sex Dolls".  The resemblance is undeniable:

Obviously the royal Chromebook has been hacked - I am not sharing the images in question here because it will only raise Eric's blood pressure, but that doll's outfit is a carbon copy of the Queen's 2019 Benidorm beachware; symbolically this hairy neanderthal is ravashing my beloved Gwen.  She will not be pleased.

1 hour ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

I haven't heard of him but will investigate further...

Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you.

The particular piece I was tortured with many moons ago as an A Level student was "Der Kranke Mond" from "Pierrot Lunaire". I am not posting a link to it as even here, there are limits.  Perhaps you'll understand my genuine incredulity that he is counted in the ranks of composer... The intro with the flute lulls you into a false sense of security that although it is shite, it is nicely performed shite.  Then starts the singing...