Goober

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Fucking hell! Is she black, white, Jewish or Indian?

Cunt looks like Brian May had a really cheap sex change.

Neil would. 

30 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’m really worried that I may have Monkeypox. I don’t have any blisters, or any of the other telltale signs but I’m frightened in case I’m asymptomatic. I don’t know if I could survive another couple of years under the bed watching Sky News telling me I’m about to die.

I'm fairly sure you're free from infection, Bill, since your flaccid member isn't able to penetrate any infected rectums. 

That'll be £250 for the consultation.

Twat. 

13 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

"A pint of Fergies Rusty Snatch please barman, arrrrrr!". 

"Sorry, its only possible to serve that by the gallon."

12 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Right ye are then. 🤣

Apology accepted. 

Just now, Roadkill said:

I don't need your consent to define you. Just good, old fashioned xenophobia.

I can't argue with that. 

15 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Everyone living south of Durham is "you". The one's between that and the south bank of the Tyne are cunts, and the one's north of Morpeth and west of Hexam are equally granted your foreigner status.

I could never consent to including myself in that definition of 'you'.

This is an extremely narrow definition of civilisation, RK.

I've had a couple of nights out in your patch. I'll not deny that it was a cracking night out, but if 'Geordie' was the benchmark against which all civilisation was judged by visiting aliens, they'd immolate the entire planet before feeding the charred carbonised remains to their pets.

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Maybe you should lay off it a bit. I think DC did suggest that earlier. Just saying.

Context, Bill. 

I know it's difficult and partly the reason you gobshites so enjoy killing each other, but try not to be a last word, Northern Irish wanker. 

17 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Well, that didn't preclude you from providing the 'milk' at the Congleton Municipal Golf Club's 19th hole...

Drinking, Decs. Drinking. 

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

To be fair on the Shearer thing, you did ask what Geordies did for other people.

 A technicality. I said us. As a southerner, anyone living north of Leicester cannot be included in a definition of 'us'.

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

What's going on here, Goobs? You seem to want some kind of continuation. Are we having an argument?

Of course not, RK. That's not where we're at and I genuinely hope we never will be. 

Just bants. 

15 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

We were good at answering phones until the fucking Indians undercut us...

No offence, RK, you could train a Bonobo to answer a phone, it doesn't mean the person on the other end will understand them. 

12 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Shearer? 

You mean that BBC wanker that won a Premier League title for Blackburn and got The Toon relegated?

Ummmm... 

2 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Technically, a whole new perineum.

Maybe this infection is self propagating. The giver might like the anal ribbed effect from the pox blisters and the receiver, after being fucked inside out for years, might enjoy the renewed sensation of painal. 

Enough of that now, before I puke.

Just now, Roadkill said:

Don't you mean "Judean People's Front cunt"?

Front cunt... The best sort. PFoJ (Newcastle Branch), cunt. 

What did the Geordies ever do for us? 

If you say Gazza I'm going to kick your ball sack inside out. 

18 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Monkeypox is a shitty replacement for Covid. You have to be either a dirty bastard, a gay dirty bastard, or a gay dirty bastard who eats gay dirty wild game to catch it. Or be in close contact for a prolonged period of time with someone who is.

They really don't want to identify it as an STI for some reason, but its basically the myth that you can catch the clap by sitting on a contaminated toilet seat made real. Its a dirty cunt infection - don't hang around with or be a dirty cunt yourself and you should be OK. Covid is more of a sort of any cunt can catch it at any time at any place thing.

Technically, this current plague is mostly a dirty anus infection. 

It's a whole new level of filthy. 

5 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Who the fuck are you? The Npower Police?

Take it up with M'bdulla.

No, ScottishPower. 

People's Front of Judea cunt. 

28 minutes ago, King Billy said:

A rather interesting comment. The sort of outburst I’d expect from someone whose rattled to fuck (which you’re obviously not). 

Oh, Bill, come on now. 

I'm grateful that you've spared me time from your reach around with DC to reply. Please don't allow my flippant posts, designed solely to wind up idiots, distract you. I know they are meaningless to you and, since you don't fall into that category, they don't sting at all. I'm sure they don't affect how hard you're able to get for your latest boyfriend. 

Sex with a scouser. Shame on you. 

Just now, Dyslexic cnut said:

I hate to repeat myself, but….BED, NOW!

Brilliant.

Don't forget to lubricate before you retire. Ivan will be visiting presently to administer another prolapse.

7 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Oh Christ…he’s bevvied again. Standby…

Try not to melt down again, DC. More than three times in a week would be embarrassing. 

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Fuck the judge, too. Pin it all on a black Somalian immigrant - he'll serve a reduced sentence and think he's in the fucking Ritz.

Without flinging too much shit, RK, I'm assuming, as a law abiding citizen, your comment about gullible cunts did not self-reference. Is that because your Northern abode does not yet benefit from new fangled shit like mains electricity?

I'll start a petition on your behalf if you like. 

On 30/05/2022 at 19:52, King Billy said:

I have a future in British Steel.

Steel? You can't even manage wood, Bill. 

14 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Give him a chance. He hasn’t apologised yet.

No, but any more of your mick lip and you will be soon.

8 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Nicking leccy and gas is hardly "cheating". Its not letting ridiculously overpaid wankers take you for a ride at the expense of the gullible cunts already bending over and taking it up the shitter to pay for some energy CEO's sixteen year old spoilt daughter's third yacht which she won't even use.

Fuck 'em all.

Tell that to the judge, RK. I'm sure they'd agree. 

On 29/05/2022 at 09:12, Dyslexic cnut said:

Wholeheartedly agree, Trucko.  I detest the cunts and would be more than happy to brick up the tunnels and sink the ferry boats. I notice the blame game has started again. It’s all UEFA’s fault or the over zealous police, etc. Fuck them…isn’t it a bit odd that there was no problem at the Madrid end of the ground? There’s a golden opportunity for the government to halve the National benefits budget and the crime rate this sunday. These cunts are having a homecoming bus parade thing through their city. I suggest drones carrying anthrax, Ebola and napalm.

There's a surprise. 

Thick as shit turkeys will actually vote for Christmas. 

42 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Just fiddle the leccy you unimaginative cunt. £400 and the boys will trunk the mains onto a separate fuse board hidden in the garage that serves the kitchen/utility/garage and outside heaters. Gas?…same price. PM me your address and I can collect a finder’s fee. Move with the times.

Who'd have thought that a Scouser would be a cheating, thieving cunt that consorts with other thieving, lowlife cunts.