Cuntybaws

While we're straying from the "people" motif, I used to hide when I saw a Reliant Robin coming because someone told me their wheels could fly off and kill you.

This may or not have have been true but it was still a good idea as, with hindsight, the average driver looked like an amalgam of every paedophile photofit you ever saw.

You can come in my mouth - Monica Lewinsky

Keep the faith, Grumpy!

The woolly cunt does seem somewhat overheated; I can feel a shearing coming on. Cutthroat razor or Stanley knife, any preference?

He also doesn't drive fast anymore because we need to save the planet.

Then we must ensure that we use only the very greenest biodiesel when we burn his fucking arse!

PS Where is the Rev...?

Jimmy Savile

They were called Jenny Long Legs where I grew up - presumably because it was assumed that anything so whiny and annoying had to be female. Ah, Scotland, good to have you in the Union.

Take up the white man's burden...

So i come in from the pub with my carry out and my KFC 3-piece meal and i have to read an interesting and relevant story from the Jizzmonster! What the fuck is going on? Where is the usual load of self promoting arrogant bollocks we expect from this cunt? I think i may have had a bit too much to drink.

Be fair now, at least he rations his contributions to ensure that he very rarely exceeds 25% of the site's posts on any one day. Such consideration and restraint should be applauded.

If he's there he'll come to you.

He's under your bed.

I wonder if they are professional enough to stand there through the agony of a swift kick in the knackers.

It's actually very easy to get human statues to move. Just take some money out of their hat!

Toys out the playpen. Pie scoffer Salmond is standing down. What a little shite bag.

Nicola Sturgeon has just put his testicles up for sale on eBay.

Fuck off cunts, you're fooling nobody!

This "Aaaarr" bollocks is a fucking cunt's game and no mistake, but it's not quite as low as "Towel Day." I know where I'd stick their fucking Babel Fish, and it wouldn't be in their fucking ear!

The only good thing I can think of to say about him is that he's funnier than Lee Evans. Or Lee Nelson. Or Lee Mack.

Scotty doesn't usually get that upset about anything unless there's a South coast connection. Yep, sure enough...Pompey cunt.

Give it another few weeks and I'm expecting to see Ronald Koeman's name up in lights.

Maybe they should get that fat blonde woman off "Criminal Minds". They give her  "who has a white van with a dent in the side in Seattle" she keys in (bish bosh bash) and viola "I have 3 with a dent in the side: One owner's dead; one owners in jail and one owners a convicted peadophile". Right thats the fucker, tool up we're on our way.

Fucking brilliant! And if that chunky penis-dodger isn't available they could always get the weird cunt from 24 in to redivert some miltary satellites to provide HD quality surveillance footage of the incident that they weren't even fucking pointing at when it happened!

Yeah well - that's the bottom of the food chain you're looking at right there isn't it?

From Moss Side, so yes, about as low and as stupid as it gets. I'd post a picture, but I'd only be accused of pandering to stereotypes. Suffice it to say that the cunt got 17 years for attempted murder, which is a lot more than Oscar Pistorius is looking at for making a proper job of it.

Do you want to suck my dick Judge?

Why don't you post him it and we'll see? I think Frank might have his address filed away somewhere...

The crime is that the "mystery killer" took out Jill Dando instead of Nick Ross.

For professional reasons Mrs Baws does enjoy the odd true crime / serial killer program from time to time (there are entire channels dedicated to that shit, 24x7) but even she won't watch Crimewatch. They might as well just get Jeremy fucking Kyle to present it.

He looks like the sort of cunt who sits hunched over to catch his own shit before it hits the water so he can admire it, turning it over and over in his hands before, with the faintest little sigh, finally letting it fall and reluctantly flushing. I might just be imagining that, of course, but where there's smoke there's fire...

You been on mumsnet again, KC? I've fucking warned you all about that!

http://dioclese.blogspot.com/2014/05/niggers.html

It's not advertising if someone else posts it...

Removed as rather poor taste

Fuck, missed it! It must have been bad/good (delete as appropriate) to disappear so quickly too!
 

The contrarian in me wants to like her because everyone else hates her, but I can't. She is quite possibly an even bigger cunt than Vanessa Feltz, and that's a pretty big cunt!