Cuntybaws

You thick knob Andy. Why do you bore us here?

There's no stoppin' the cretins from hoppin'

Are you referring to Terry Thomas era jags? Quaint. Lexus I just associate with Alan Partridge.

There's nothing Terry Thomas about the XFR 5.0L V8 supercharged, but it doesn't have the sheer pant-dropping properties of its illustrious predecessors. Fortunately us old married men no longer have to worry about that.

As opposed to being a generic Barbapapa, rolling about the place like the boulder in Indiana Jones, before dying of a heart attack, not in their 40's but in their eighties after bleeding the NHS dry looking after their diabetes, hip replacement, gastric band ('because I'm big-boned, not really a fatty at all') and chronic halitosis.

Good point. They're "green" as well, grazing through a few leaves and mung beans a day, and running to & from work instead of taking the 4x4. And if a dread diesease hasn't carried them off by forty they have the decency to top themselves at the first sign of a wrinkle anyway. Best of all, you'll never meet the boring cunts down the pub or the kebab shop.

I've already done this nom under correct name.

Yes, and I've done racist sock puppets, but who took notice? Fucking no-one, that's who took notice.

It happened in America. They seem to be good at this sort of thing.

Too fucking true. In fact, in an attempt to demonstrate that the first robbing cunt was not shot purely for his colour the police have only gone and offed another gentleman of colour in the same town tonight in similar circumstances. That sort of commitment to community relations should calm things down considerably.

Jaguar drivers are different from BMW and Audi owners they're just flash. Your typical Jag owner has a roguish appeal rather like a slightly shady uncle who fiddles his VAT , bets on the horses, might drink too much  and who you would not leave alone with your wife or girlfriend.

Ding dong!

I considered posting a few video tutorials showing exactly where you can stick your fucking fedora, but you're not worth the ban.

yep! Sounds like my school!

Come on, I'm not liking it twice!

If it wasn't past my bedtime I would resurrect my dodgy series of occasional St Trinians analogies - maybe tomorrow...

You go and tell the punchy cunt. The rev 'll hold your coat.

I'd gut him like a thrice-reheated fish supper, Spot. (It would have to be quick, before the Rev made off with said coat!)

 Use the "Next Unread Topic" facility, it'll take to the next unread comment in the next thread, that way you'll won't miss anything.

Cheers, Mrs R. It's still not quite the same, but it's infinitely better than the manic leaping to & fro I was doing before.

How did you guess?

It's a cuntfest!

I, and other Scots living out with Scotland have been denied a vote on the future of our country, whilst twats just off a boat and settling in Scotland for the social security benefits and free cooncil hooses et al are allowed to...

I have to grudgingly admit that as debut posts go this isn't half bad. Neil Lennon can leave, but he'll always be a cunt.

'Nuff fucking said!

Would allow people one murder victim a decade - no questions asked, no comeback. You can just murder someone and go 'Yup, that was me - he was giving me random bad attitude so I just offed the cunt and now I'm claiming my get out of jail free card' for this decade.'

 

That way you'd have to be a lot more pleasant and considerate of other people because you'd never know that when you decided to turn some shitty drum 'n bass tinnitus-inducing shite up to eleven in your Barryd-up near-write of mobile Halfords Sound System, that it wasn't Old Jiggs at the side of the road, armed with a shoulder launched Howitzer aimed right at you.

I like this idea a lot, but I fear it might backfire and we'd be the cunts constantly looking behind us. Poor old Keith wouldn't make it through the first morning of the new regime.

Today walkies, tomorrow draggies.

I've quoted Mr Renton on this subject before but you can never get too much of a good thing, especially when a rare contextual opportunity like this presents itself:

“It's nae good blamin it oan the English fir colonising us. Ah don't hate the English. They're just wankers. We are colonised by wankers. We can't even pick a decent, vibrant, healthy culture to be colonised by. No. We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? The lowest of the fuckin low, tha's what, the scum of the earth. The most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat intae creation. Ah don't hate the English. They just git oan wi the shite thuv goat. Ah hate the Scots.”

Thick twat.

Don't fucking sugarcoat it, just tell him straight!

Actually, I may just have imagined the "Follow" function. Bollocks. You were lucky - this time...!

Is anyone else finding the site a bit diffuse? Lack of impact when you log in means you can't pick up the vibe straight away. Other than the presence of Jazz on everything, I can't pick up if useful cunts are saying anything. It's a cunt.

There's no Random Cunt but the search is much better. However, until the legacy comments get here there's not much point searching, randomly or otherwise. I've got a shortcut set up that emulates the Last 24 Hours Nominations, below, but I can't find a way to replicate the Last 24 Hours Comments which was always my starting point on the old site after a day away,

http://cuntscorner.com/index.php?/forum/42-the-corner/?sort_key=start_date&sort_by=Z-A

It's too easy to miss a comment on here if it's not the last one on a thread. I haven't tried following anyone yet, mind you, that could be worth a shot. Perhaps I'll follow you - but only if you promise to do something controversial. (I tried, but my "Death To Jews" thread got deleted.)

This is the thread for racist sock puppets.

For one moment I thought you said Larkfield which not far away from me, but I have never seen any Pedigree Tamworths running around there.

If Scotland has an anus, it's either in Larkhall or very fucking close to it. If Salmond is a big turd in a small bowl, I guess that makes McKelvie a dangleberry on the matted hair around said arsehole.

The only good thing he ever did was to kill Mike Yarwood's career along with his own.

PS Larkhall's a bit of a Unionist stronghold, I can't imagine she's very popular with the Neanderthal bears that prowl those particular gutters.

Jesus fuck, where did she get her haircut – the 1930's? Even her boss seems to think she's a tit, and you have to take the opinion of a man in a pink hat very seriously indeed.