Cuntybaws

Dirty little cock-smoking, fudge-packing, squeaky-voiced abomination. I'd ram a rabid ferret up his arse and an ebola-ridden weasel down his throat, and let them fight it out to the death somewhere around his kidneys.

Don't spend it all in the same shop. Unless it's just a pound, in which case spend it all in a Pound Shop.

Why wont the quote button let me fucking quote? fucking fix it.

You have to let it "load". (Not unlike your erection!) If you click in the box too soon it confuses it sometimes.

Bet you've met a few, though.

At least they don't usually try to talk to you, unlike the mad old grannies on part-time minimum wage. Fuck, those old cunts would work for free just to stay warm and get staff discount on cat food.

Deleted

I'd like to say it's been nice knowing you, but that would be a lie.

Dear cuntybaws will do I am new to twats corner but learn quick.

Fuck me, now that's what I call an avatar! I must try this new "politeness" angle more often.

Effeminate puffy cunt

Puffy? Puffy? Seriously - fucking puffy? And not a barrister joke in sight, I despair.

Dear Mike,

In future might you please consider:

• Putting up a picture
• Expanding just slightly on the subject text
• Getting yourself an avatar.

You cunt,

Baws

Tomorrow night just throw 'em your missus for a spitroast. You get some sleep, everyone's happy.

Yeah. I just watched it. It'd be like handing the keys to a Formula 1 car to Stephen Fucking Hawking.

Fuck, I thought the man-machine interface was pretty blurred there already. Mind you, he couldn't be any worse then Jenson Button.

I hope they don't make any references to contentiously-named French villages, or some cunt will delete them!

I once sneaked into a walled garden to take a piss on the way home from a late night party somewhere in London without realising it was a convent. I heard a harsh grunt from behind me (luckily I was just about done) and I turned round to see a dark cowled figure looming over me. For one terrible moment I thought I'd been caught befouling Wayne Manor - I very nearly had a shit to keep the piss company!

     We're LADIES!

Oh fuck, I just remembered that duet he did with Sporty Spice. Ever wonder which of them had the biggest penis? (A clue - it wasn't Bryan.)

Cramp during the vinegar strokes is a real hazard for the more mature lady or gentleman (delete as appropriate, depending on who is on top.) Once, by the time I'd realised Mrs Baws wasn't just faking her usual multiple orgasm, she'd almost gone into full cardiac arrest!

I am. In fact, Peregrine and I am an alcoholic. I live with the Memsahib (a treasure beyond price) at spotter towers. Which is remarkable and extraordinary...

...and not even the tiniest bit tedious!

Do you think this is the same Spot as before? I don't.

"It doesn't matter what you think".

© The Rock

Christ, another old nom.

Wait a minute, has anyone done "Fat Cunts" yet?

"Eee, I was a psychiatric nurse, you know..." Yes, we do know, given that you mention it every 5 fucking minutes you misshapen harpy.

You saying what cunt? I get my fucking katana out at you.

The only fucking katana you've got squirts watery semen, so while I'm flattered that you'd get it out for me I have to advise you that I'm not that sort of boy.

You giant fucking asshat, Keith!

Wish I had a grey Cortina
Whiplash aerial, racing trim
Cortina owner - no one meaner
Wish that I could be like him

I was somewhat surprised that this archetypal paedo-cum-necrophile wasn't nominated on day one of the new Corner, but here he is now. For old time's sake I've dug out the original BBC news article from that wonderful day in 2011 when the vile old cunt snuffed it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-15507374

Among its many choice references, this pair of gems stood out for me:

Broadcaster Tony Blackburn said Sir Jimmy was embraced by everybody

Presenter Dave Lee Travis told Sky News: "We are all going to be worse off without him around."

If I knew where the cunt's grave was, I'd dance on it.

Apparently Robin Williams just heard that Kellie had beaten him to the lead role in Mrs Doubtfire 2. A shame, really, as Robin was a far more convincing woman.