applescruff14

15 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

Probably not, have to avoid defeat and hope for a draw, hopefully rain.

I fancy our chances at 1-1 going to the Oval.

The way this series has gone that would be some achievement 

15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

They only have to score 297 to make them bat again. Piece of piss.

I don't share your confidence 

12 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

Archer never bowled at top speed, i wonder if that's Root's doing as he does make some half-cocked decisions.

Root should never have got the captains job, doesnt work giving your star player the job.

15 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

Yep, should be easy, Roy for a triple century and Buttler to chip in with a double century. We will declare at about 750/5 and then bowl them out for 10.

On Cricket 2019 maybe

23 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

To be honest Doc, i would have dropped Buttler, Denly & Roy. I would have played Pope at the top of the order with Burns, then Root, Bairstow, , Stokes. Had Ben Foakes keeping wicket, then woakes at 7 then the bowlers, Curran, Archer, Broad & Leach.

I agree with that, probably wouldnt have changed the outcome a lot

5 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

If only we could catch or not let our spinner (the fucking spinner!!!) bowl a bloody no ball. We'll have to bat out our skins if we want to get to the oval still in the series

 

Wouldnt have made much difference, in some ways probably better as we are only 1 wicket down this evening and not 3

4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Agreed. As a former "fast" bowler (medium-slow, like paul collingwood bowling half pace into a head wind, uphill) they either stick or they don't. As for Jason Roys effort at slip....

Whats this 83mph shite from Archer? Wheres the 95mph thunderbolts? I'd let him do you up the wrong un if he can knock Smith out cold again!

Just nothing from him at all in that innings, Ashes are gone baring some miracle, nothing alters the fact Australia are cheats who disgraced the game in Johannesburg last year.

7 hours ago, DrCunt said:

It's clear why Woakes was dropped, Root just doesn't like bowling  him. What's the point him being in the team if the captain doesn't utilise him?

I agree with @Jiggerycock, I'd have brought Curran in (for Woakes). I'd also have dropped Buttler and pushed Roy down the order, keeping Denly where he was whilst bringing in an opener that can play with a straight bat and knows how to leave the ball. England desperately need an opener that can stay put for 30 or 40 overs, regardless of whether they are scoring runs. Despite being boring as fuck, Tavare would have been perfect for this team.

Only the Manchester rain can keep us in the Ashes going to The Oval, doomed otherwise. I knew when Australia went into bat and Smith and Labuschagne were batting together that the Ashes were gone.

7 hours ago, King Billy said:

Fucking Hell! England are a different cricket team this innings. They’re now bookies favourites to win. About time they woke up. The Aussies are well rattled this morning. Maybe they’ve got a new cheat up their sleeve if it gets to squeaky bum time.

Even if Australia do win the Ashes, which they will, todays play will be remembered the most 

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Most of the Australian team performed like the Geoff Richards all male dance troupe who used to appear on Top of the Pops...

Their spinner was a disaster....a cross between Frankie Howard and Liberace...

lol.

Nathan Lyon has really performed badly for Australia

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I listened to it on the verandah. Nice to see Stokes putting that bulb headed cunt Lyon into the stands. About fucking time someone did that. 

I would drop Lyon from the team if I was Australia captain

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's so nice to see you happy for a change Apple. A bit disturbing maybe.

Just brilliant!! Had this feeling we could chase it as chases like that are possible at Headingly. When Broad went I thought that was it but thank goodness we won

2 hours ago, southerncunt said:

The illusion here, my fuckwitted friend, is why you are obviously English but choose to assume the nom de plume of firstly a fictional Australian serial killer then a Maori who likes punching people. 

The virtual world suits you. Does your real world measure up?

You Aussies really pushed us but with England winning, it makes Old Trafford all to play for, our first Ashes win in 9 attempts, when we needed it most as well!

16 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Ashes to Ashes...

Stokes Stokes Stokes Stokes Stokes Stokes Stokes Stokes.....

lol

lol.

Credit to Australia as well, they were brilliant but series still alive so come on England, bring the urn home, when Broad went I thought it was all over.

14 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Come on now Gypps. The days when you could only get the previous days English papers in Spain are long gone. England have just won!!!!

Well done England and Ben Stokes!! and Leach for staying there!! Im in dreamland, come on England bring the Urn home!!

22 hours ago, Jake The Muss said:

He certainly does, on a more positive note...Archer looks the real deal. He dropped his pace a little from Lords but still managed to destroy the Aussie's.

All in vain though. I would have batted first, get the runs on the board.

The World Cup was a great achievement but I'd rather have had the Ashes, even if it meant losing to the cheats in the final.

41 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

If every english batsman had 2 lives each they still wouldn't win. That mad eyed cunt who came in for Smith, is fucking boring. But that is what the English batsman have to be. Fucking boring. 

I wouldnt say England are worthy losers, Australia can get the job done where as England cant, its one step forward, two steps back for England.

Its going to take a miracle for England to chase 300+ but stranger things have happened.

5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Another fucking disgrace in progress at Headingley. And add to it the exquisite agony of smug Channel Nine presenters grinning under the banner headline “Pomageddon”.

Bastards. I’m going to bed. 

Very bad day for English cricket but we did chase 315 at Headingly in 2001. Nothing changes the fact that Australia are proven cheats 

On 17/08/2019 at 19:55, Glowworm said:

Have you sorted that woman yet?

More chance of hell freezing over 

On 17/08/2019 at 21:01, Jake The Muss said:

If i remember Roy started slowly in ODI cricket, so i would be willing to give him a run. 

There isn't anybody else at the moment to replace him, can you think of any good openers to replace him ?

He needs a good innings tomorrow, that Labuschagne bloke is like that bloke in the terminator, (T1000)

On 02/08/2019 at 00:31, camberwell gypsy said:

Should have been a life ban 

Bought shame on the game.

On 15/08/2019 at 15:02, Jiggerycock said:

I mean for fuck's sake Buttler, it's annoying enough you've got a stupid, second, supurfluous 't' in your surname but you were cock in the World Cup (bar the final) and you're cock AND balls now!!!

Give up man.....just give up!

Stokes isnt much better at the moment

17 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Not much cop in the 5 day game. 

Bit much to ask of England at the moment

25 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

Looks like it's going to be a draw, was impressed with Archer. On another day ha would have got 6 or 7 out. 

Pleased to see him smash Smith up...cuntbreed still got 92.

He just stood there and got lbw, even reviewed it as well, was plumb!

12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Take smith out of the equation and England will win the whole thing. All the other aussie batsman are ropey to say the least 

Maybe but their bowlers give me a lot more confidence than England's, they can break partnerships and get the job done.

On 06/08/2019 at 00:42, Jake The Muss said:

Yeah, it's just proper test batsman England are lacking.

We are a bit one dimentional at best, raiding the one day team to make a test team wont win us an Ashes Series. Roy is crap in test cricket.