applescruff14

On 5/24/2018 at 7:15 PM, Last Cunt Standing said:

England all out for 184 at HQ. 

For fucks sake, Root needs flaying across a gun carriage. Batting first?

Sky need to fuck the Asian bird off from the Comm Box too; the likes of Bumble, Gower and Atherton look very on edge with a splitarse sitting next to them. 

 

Batting at Lords first is normally a good call. Root just isn't a leader, the players probably don't look up to him.

It is a big odd having that woman in the commentary box I must admit.

4 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Root has 50, so i'm sure he will be out soon...can't understand why Stoneman is still in the side.

Needs to be dropped, a good fightback by these two at the crease but just delaying the inevitable.

About as exciting as losing to Australia in the cricket. 

9 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Apple you malingering cumfart, where the fuck have you been (or who have you been more like...) 

I guess trying to pull that bird who looked like Steve smith you once talked to or looking for another job after revealing your underwear?

On a more happy note, I hope warner gets "coolered" and is forced to be the bitch of some serial arse rapping sheep shearing miscreant banged up for marsupial shagging crimes 

Abuse me all you like but it doesn't alter the fact its bad times for Australian cricket and England should be given back the Ashes. 

On 26/03/2018 at 1:56 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

True, every team is probably at it and funny it was against the safas whose skipper, du pliese, has been caught twice! The only reason they fessed up is that they got caught and I suspect lengthy bans for smith and that little shitcunt warner and the coach to be sacked. As for the sledging bullshit they've moaned about- if you can't take it, don't give it and don't tell tales out of school. I find it a bit rich for Lehman to moan about abuse from fans when he publicly urged Aussie supporters to have a go at broad for not walking when his players would nick off to third slip and wait for the umpire. I guess it's one rule for the pious "we never step over the line" Aussies and another for the rest. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch and I'm sure the Aussie public are fuming 

Not being biased but I'm not convinced Broad was out in 2013.

On 25/03/2018 at 8:11 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

Fucking Aussie dogs. Ban the cunts and sack the coach who must have been complicit. 

@southerncunt?????

Do the one thing that will hurt Australia the most, give England back the Ashes. 

On 07/01/2018 at 11:12 PM, Last Cunt Standing said:

Dying of embarrassment more like. 

Hope he’s had some intravenous courage. 

Take the captaincy off him, has proved beyond all doubt he cant handle the job. 

3 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Fuck me Stubby, Sydney was the biggest defeat of the series, a truly fucking awful game, i never watched it all.

It was shit. 

On 05/01/2018 at 9:37 AM, Jiggerycock said:

Fucking hell I'm good, me

Its inevitable when you're playing on doctored wickets. Middle order batsmen scoring big runs test after test, its a farce. I would stop touring Australia after this. Murali had the right idea. 

On 05/01/2018 at 11:41 PM, Last Cunt Standing said:

News from the pink Test......

The place looks half fucking empty. Everyone at the beach. 

Is it too much to hope for that Steve Smith falls on his wicket and gets a stump straight up his hole? 

Two wickets down at tea and trailing by 280 odd. England should have abandoned the tour ages ago. I would have gone off injured if I'd been James Anderson at Perth to fuck up their celebrations. Wouldn't have give them the satisfaction of taking all 20 wickets. 

On 06/01/2018 at 12:11 AM, Wizardsleeve said:

At least they have the Ashes!  

That they cheated to win but we have the real Urn from all those years ago and we still hold them in England as we were the last team to win a series here. 

On 05/01/2018 at 10:10 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I wouldn't want to meet any if them in a misty graveyard ehh @applescruff14

Especially Steve Smith

19 hours ago, judgetwi said:

That was men’s talk between me and Apple. No need for you to butt and In like a nosy old woman. Go and hang the washing out before it starts raining again.

The day she took the helm we lose 0-3 at home to fucking Burton Albion, will probably lose to Carlisle in the FA Cup and get a drubbing at Bramall Lane next week.

17 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

How does she compare to "The Woman"?

Rolf Harris to Rembrandt

Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln

8 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Malan and Mo need to put on 100 and the rest get us up to 400 or well loose by an inns again. Twats.

We will lose by over an innings.

6 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I hate the Sydney test for many reasons. Usually because all hope is gone of a victory, the remnants of a shattered England side are usually no longer even entertaining unless they are Ronnie Irani, I’ve lost my taste for VB, blown my budget on seafood at Doyles, and have to give some thought to the impending ride home to winter in the English NHS. 

These days though, it’s this load of cock;

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-02/glenn-mcgrath-raising-the-bar-for-10th-pink-test-at-the-scg/9298990

I hate the sight of the Barmy Army having to be nice to that Arch Cunt McGrath for even one day. In fact I rather suspect she faked her own death to escape the cunt droning on about the day he took 8-41 against Northants during intercourse. 

Day three at the SCG is a day to spend on the beach. 

The Pink Test is something entirely different where I’m from.  

The blokes a prick, if I found myself having to say anything good about him I'd slit my wrists. I remember his face when India got him out in Calcutta in 2001 and won the test after being asked to follow on, an absolute picture, wasnt so smug then.

16 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

The series distilled into one day.

Stoneman and Vince look pretty and then get out

Cook (Melbourne and its shirtfront track aside) looks NFG now

Root doesn't convert, we look to be sitting pretty though - until in two overs, we hand the initiative back to them.

All we need tomorrow is the patent English lower order collapse, raising our hopes by getting them 'fuck all for 2' only for Smith to crack out another 150-plus and it's like deja-vu all over again.

That horrible looking prick is at the crease as we speak. They will score 600+ in this innings like we did back in 2011. At least Warner is gone but that's as good as its going to get.

I would sack Root as captain after this test and maybe reconsider him in perhaps 2020 or something.

On 28/12/2017 at 7:49 AM, Albert Ross said:

An overnight declaration would would give England two extra overs to try and get the convicts out, or give them two extra overs to score, as they've won the series they could bat like a one dayer. 

Been to the SCG but I didn't think it was anything special. I would juggle it around and not have it as the New Year test anymore and perhaps change Melbourne from the Boxing Day Slot as well. It changes in England so why not Australia as its all old hat now. 

On 28/12/2017 at 7:34 AM, Stubby Pecker said:

We saw what batting homos the convicts are in Adelaide 

we failed to win the key moments and when the Aussie cunts did we couldn't counter them, stokes would have been the man at these times, the stupid piss head!

 

Cunts!!!!!

Wobbling already in this test. 

These pink stumps are something to do with that prat McGrath, everything he said about England and the English, he marries an English woman. Tosser. 

2 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Never mind about all that poofy cricket bollocks Apple. What about the deep shit Sheffield Wednesday are in? A fucking up his own arse foreign owner  ( nothing unusual there ) appointing Katrien Meire as CEO! I have vast experience of this lady and I can assure you your club is in big fucking trouble. 

If you think Yoko was  a cunt you ain’t seen nothing yet! I almost feel sorry for you but I am just so happy that this useless bitch has attached herself to some other poor  bastards. You’re fucked.

I've just been reading about her, she certainly isnt a big hit with the Charlton fans, some even turned up at her house in Belgium when Charlton were relegated. Ticket sales dropped and various other things when she was there. I wouldn't say no to a bit of her outside football though. 

They won't ever make the Premiership anyway, too inconsistent. A daunting trip to Sheff Utd next week which is another defeat. 

On 01/01/2018 at 2:58 AM, camberwell gypsy said:

Australia are Tigers at home, pussies away. Their fucking rugby union side are crap as well. Let them have their moment. We'll hammer them in the one dayers and T20s in the summer and the South Africans will hand their arses to them on a plate before they get here. They can shove the ashes urn up their arses. 

Barry Humphries is a cunt 

 

Maybe but I think the Ashes are going to go like they did before where Australia dominate every test. They will win the one dayers and this test in Sydney once the rain clears.

I take your word for it that their Rugby Union side are crap as I'm not really a Rugby person. The convicts are in England this summer for a few games, another lost series. 

They can shove their Urn that they cheated to win as we have the real one anyway and we still hold the Ashes in England as we were the last side to win an Ashes series here. 

Be good if we could get 2018 off to a winning start and win in Sydney but its unlikely although we did in 2003 and 2011.

26 minutes ago, nocti said:

Do you have a metaphor that compares her to the woman that you actually want?

Rolf Harris to Rembrandt 

Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln 

18 hours ago, nocti said:

Can you imagine what that cunt would look like in a graveyard at night?

Like that woman in my local shop that night, haven't seen her since thank goodness. 

18 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

In the first 3 tests we had opportunities but failed to grab the key moments and let the Aussies run away with it. Their victories were inflated and their bowling looks shite without starc who's top gun. We'll beat them over here as they can't play swing and seam. It was a shit squad who played pointless warm up games agains virtually the same 3 sides with little or no first class players. They should have been out there weeks earlier playing proper games against tough opponents. If the ACB wouldn't accommodate then play the warm up games in South Africa in similar conditions. When the convicts come here give them a couple of warm up vs county second elevens on cabbage patch wickets 

We'll win in Sydney if we get smith cheaply

They were inflated I agree, the whole series has been a farce. They are no better than what we are. I've got this feeling they will win the next series in England, its going to be like it was before where they dominate every match. 

4-0