Jiggerycock

55 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

I think you could be onto something, but I would have to insist on Ridley Scott as the director. Apparently as the ice has receded pictures have popped up showing what appears to be a pyramid, but geologists are claiming it's just a mountain. God doesn't build in straight lines as the old adage goes, so who knows.

Good shout on Kirk Russell starring in the film. He's a great actor in my book, and was also banging Goldie Hawn in her prime who he later married. I always used to get him confused with Patrick Swayze as they bare a striking resemblance, or possibly Jeff Bridges. 

We could always use Guy Ritchie, it's about time he made another decent film, but obviously you would call them movies. We could have the line "right outside the pyramid for a straightner on the ice", as opposed to the cobbles. 

I think it's a winner, Eric. 

It's about time Cunts Corner diversified its offer to market - I mean how the hell can we continue to survive on Bawsy's meagre earnings as a peripatetic spell checker in the badlands of Mid-Lothian, especially now Neils porn work has dried up.

No, we must storyboard this one and pitch it most ricky-tick to Roops' contact at Warner Brothers.

We could get Danny Glover in to say 'I'm too old for this shit' and Danny Dyer to go 'Maaaaag me orf for ah Pony wouldyer, you faaaahrking caaaahnt' and it's got 'winner' written all over it.

Am I missing someting here?

This schoolgirl in British Columbia being reported on in Devon Live?

Oh I get it - it's the 'British Columbia, Canada' just down the A377 between Exeter and Barnstaple 

1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

What is it with people that use these sayings like, 'I love you to the moon and back'. What the fuck does it even mean? and why not make it about other planets in the system? Also, 'Blue-sky thinking'??

Fuck off. The one that should be used is, 'I love you to Uranus and back'

What the fuck are you talking about?

This nom is completely lacking in granularity

7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I will pass commenting on the fact you were watching this mind numbing garbage.

People like this need to keep their fucking gobs shut. 

What did pseudo gay Phillip and little Miss fawning have to say about this? 

Bloody hell I don't watch that shite, give me some credit for having, what, for handy reference purposes, we will call 'a life'

Cut and pasted it off the BBC's website.

I imagine given the prevailing 'Zero or near zero Covid, we all must be allowed to live forever' mindset amongst the cultural elite, they nodded SAGEly (ha-ha) and went 'Great Idea!'

As more people take up jogging and fill the parks and pavements, should they be wearing a face mask?

Trish Greenhalgh, professor in primary care health sciences at the University of Oxford, believes they should.

"There is no doubt that you can catch it if you inhale. The exercising jogger - the puffing and panting jogger - you can feel their breath come and you can sometimes actually feel yourself inhale it, so there's no doubt that there is a danger there," she told ITV's Good Morning Britain.

All citizens WILL report to Stalag Dewsbury at 06.00 hours tomorrow, for complsary lamination.

Anyone not complying will be shot on sight

Stazi-citizens are requested to report non-compliant neighbours to the authorities, for which they will receive a further 1 hour outdoor time health credit (for one member of household only)

16 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Somewhat off topic here, Jigs, but I was just wondering if you'd had money on this particular nag?

Fresh video this time circulating of jockey Rob James doinga similar thing to a dead horse on the gallops, whilst several peopls laugh in the background. It's out there if you look for it and it sickens me no end. This is not what Racing is about and does not reflect the sport I love.

Nor is it anything to do with Brexit - blimey we've shot down a few cul-de-sacs on this thread.

12 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Actually, I've just counted the legs on old Findus there and it had four of them, making it most unlikely that you ever backed it given your usual preference for three-legged donkeys.

Frequently wrong - never in doubt!

5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Somewhat off topic here, Jigs, but I was just wondering if you'd had money on this particular nag?

Yeah - it's the talk of the horse racing village today.

Elliott's been a Grade A prick no doubt about it, but a hefty fine and warning to future conduct seems just.

Of course, he'll have to handle any fallout to his business if owners decide to remove their horses from his care. His biggest owner (Giggingstown Stud, aka the O'Leary's aka the owners of Ryan Air) have said they'll stick with him. We'll have to see about the rest

3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

"Taking back control." 

Yeah. Person REFUSES TO COMPLY to fill in contact details at border tests positive for dangerous Brazilian Covid Variant. 

Now walking around SOMEWHERE in Britain with their dirty covid arse hanging out their pants. 

Fucking get the army on the borders, at passport control, in the airports at the ports. Stick a fucking machine gun in the faces of anybody going out or coming into this country. It says DON'T FUCK AROUND 

What are we fucking paying the army for? 

Bit racist / fascist.

You might get thrown out of the Provisional wing of the Socialist Workers Party, even allowing for Mummy and Daddy pulling a few strings behind the scenes for you

Weed for Prisoners

How much would a slightly manky Peter Sutcliffe, a Rose West and poor, pathetic embezzeler get me?

8 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It did cross my mind, Jiggs. But ask yourself this. If everytime you went into your garden you were confronted with the view of a wildly gesticulating and gelatinous, furious red-faced man glaring at you through steamy windows, wouldn't you spend more time inside your fucking house than out?

Fair point - although I must admit I'm a bit hazy about what passes for entertainment in Norfolk at the best of times, never mind during lockdown

Maybe they're pointing at you?

Maybe, when they do go back inside, they go 'Fuck me, state of that rotund cunt over there, sweating like a nonce in a prison riot every day. His room must stink to buggery - he's in there 3 hours a day....fucker never leaves the place!"

Maybe that's what they're doing.

It's a theory, you'll have to admit, that has to be entertained.

Living amid a nation’s glorious (or inglorious) frippery is just one of the bargains immigrants have had to make throughout time.  I suspect they do it because they knew the life afforded to their children as a result of their move would outweigh the presence of an awkward street-name or a statue of a man they had never heard of (especially when faced with the very real 'sieg-heiling' xenophobes of their time).

They were wrong of course.

Forget integration: they should have got straight to work on correcting the past. 

28 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

So I’m in bed twisting like Boris at “Question Time”, looking like Tyson after extended match and popping pills and assorted liquids that would put our resident drug fiends to shame. Fuck me, it hurts.

After a long debate on whether to do another root canal/cyst treatment under LL6 or having a transplant, I decided on the latter. And to top it off, as the adjacent LL5 got damaged recently , I thought, well let’s have both cunts replaced with implants and that should last me until covid or old age arrange for my departure.

I was promised to have “some discomfort” and take regular painkillers, antibiotics and anti inflammatory tabs to sort out the “discomfort” or “mild swelling” that was also mentioned.

If any implant specialist will tell you about the little pain you will have after a double extraction and implantation, know it’s a fucking can of worms and prepare accordingly.

Lying cunts.

Fuck off.

I think we can do without the sordid revelations about your sex life

17 hours ago, Fatty said:

£200k isn’t a lot of money, I wouldn’t get out of bed for that, mug!!!!

Who are you in bed with that's paying you £200k?

12 hours ago, Frank said:

Players' Championship.. the match he's currently winning against Ding?

Fuck off, Eric, you sensationalist fucking pig of a man.

If Ding plays Trump is this the first time two sound-effects have clashed in a professional snooker match?

31 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

I don't think that nepotism is limited to one party.

True - but it's taken off under this shower

2 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

That's true but I also think privatisation relieves the government of responsibility and liability. I remember a while back some new stadium/venue was proposed and it was to be financed by some foreign consortium...why? Why can't we do it? It's all brown envelopes and all expenses holidays for these cunts in power. They are clever, and legitimate criminals. 

True to a degree, especially as regards the 'crony capitalism' we have seen under the present government.

No matter how big the fuck up Capita, Serco, Baroness Harding et al make they're Teflon when it comes to resposibility - yet Gorilla Glue when it comes to being first in line for the next big government spending project.

18 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Everybody who isn't Old and Rarsecat is QUOTE<naive and  gullible>UNQUOTE. And what have YOU been DOING in last 12 months BIG MOUTH? 

Writing heartfelt diatribes on a little-read misanthropic website at the arse-end of the Internet.

.....unlike your good self, fighting the good fight by scribbling 'Class War' on the front of their rough books (with BOTH 'a's having the anarchists circle scrawled round them, just to show you really mean business!).

Then, throwing yourself onto the guns of the Reactionaries, arrayed outside Chelsea Girl

1 minute ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

It's crazy the way everything is going online, all to save big business money. These businesses are rubbing their hands together thinking...'we can save lots of money by getting a much smaller office now' and 'why not outsource all this work to some cunt in india, and once furlough is over sack the British cunt, we'll save loads of money. 

The next major step is Artificial intelligence...more and more people, and a lot less jobs...the world is fucked. (I'm ok though I've got £400 in the bank).

I've got an old Anderson Shelter, four tins of bully beef, a tin-foil hat and a GIANT fucking truck-mounted field Howitzer.

See you on the other side!

It's time to play 'Guess What's Johnson's Speech Is Going To Say'.

{Buzzer}

...and first up it's Jiggers from North Buckinghamshire. Go ahead Jiggs.....

1. More mental anguish as he faffs about with ever changing goalposts.

2. More job losses.

3. More record breaking national debt burden.

4. Universal Basic Income eventually to be paid in kryptocurrency (so it will be dependent on behaviour).

5. Vaccines and boosters year round for all. (Got to bail out BigPharma, and vaccines have a cheaper and quicker approval process than drugs. It's a HUGE Market, and Handjob's wife works in the industry, with key members of SAGE being shareholders).

6. Unelected advisors, whose income and pensions do not depend on the outcome of their advice, telling Government on how to change stubborn British behaviour who dare to question what is going on.

7. More State Crony Capitalism.

8. Mass surveillance.

9. AI replacing millions of jobs.

10. Hyperinflation.

11. Lies, lies and more lies to suppress a fine nation of diverse, entrepreneurial free thinking people.

We live in a world where 'equality' means equality of outcomes not equality of opportunity and where 'diversity' means diversity of look not diversity of opinion.

If we fuck about with semantics enough we'll get some pre-pubescent female ectomorph winning the Mens Olympic Shot Put title - and if you don't like it then what kind of a Fascist (the 'go-to' word for Childe Harold-lites of this world) are you huh?

Said it before but it's the Peter Cook and Dudley Moore 'Tarzan Audition' sketch made real.

I can't post You Tube clips so paging @Cuntybaws to be a pal here. Failing that 'Google is your friend' to see what I'm crapping on about if your under 50 or with no comedic taste.

3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

you are already brain dead any grovelling today? 

Achingly poor.

I hope your sociology essays are better than this. 

16 minutes ago, The Beast said:

The most misleading stat was when one of the bigwigs, I think  Vallance, said there is someone being admitted every 30 seconds with Coronavirus. This was at around the peak 17th January. No context allowed, just a number to shit the daylights out of the peasantry.

In context, approx 160 A&E depts in England, all with acute admission beds under the on call physicians. 120 people per hour, doesn't even make 1 person per hour per dept average.

What bothers me most about the government propaganda, is that it is complete over reach. This virus is nasty for those that have severe symptoms, but overall the death rate is low.  Significant numbers of people have become numbed or simply don't believe what is being fed to them.  What the fuck happens if it, or another virus, gets really bad and there is a real threat of severe illness to a wider range of people. No cunt is going to believe them. 

And before there is an enquiry or whitewash into this debacle, particularly the issue with care homes, there needs to be an audit of all chest x rays taken between July and December 2019, to see when the distinct findings of bilateral pneumonitis started to appear more frequently out of range of usual occurrence. Otherwise, we will have a false starting point of the virus not being present in the UK until January 2020.

 

All good stuff but I reckon folks will just LOVE another pandemic. I think they're addicted to the soap-opera drama of it all - certainly there seems little appetite to question the government or the sanctions it has introduced. Quite the opposite, in fact Her Majesties Opposition's stance on the political reaction to all this is, broadly speaking, to have gone harder and earlier than the Government, which tells you everything you need to know about how fucking docile we / they have become in the face of a civil liberties grab that would make Pinochet shit treacle