colonelkurtz

9 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Well it looks as though Priti Patel is resigning as home secretary so I'm going to propose that @Eric Cuntman is considered for the role as I think he would be just slightly more enthusiastic about controlling illegal migration......or any other form of migration that only involves foreigners.

Patel the clusterfuck queen has been winging it for years with her seemingly limitless succession of fuckups . Just imagine the shit she must have on Johnson or Rees Mogg to have held onto her nice little earner for so long.  You can bet she is already there with daggers at the ready in the queue now forming  behind the Truss cunt.

Not even a free pen for just enquiring anymore.

Parkinson ..  Yorkshire Cunt

11 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

As the Corners’ version of Janes Defence Weekly, what do you make of the idea that the target was taken out not with a high explosive warhead, but by a Hellfire missile decked out with high speed spinning blades, so as not to inflict any collateral damage? 

I’m sure I scribbled something similar in the back of an old Maths exercise book in the 1970’s. If I can find it, I’m suing the Pentagon. Plagiarism Cunts. 

.. although it's not like inflicting collateral damage is a bad thing.

10 hours ago, Arnold said:

They've got it in for women in general. Have you noticed how good looking women have been cancelled in advertising? Any old battleship will suffice now. Yet somehow it's not quite the same with blokes (yet).  Buying some kecks this afternoon, I could not help but notice all the advertising on the packaging were of a medallion-wearing type of he-man with bulging muscles. Yet the women's section, as in many current TV ads, were depicted as overweight, ugly rhinos. @Cuntybaws remarked on this in another thread which in turn made me look at this shit a little closer. This woke shit is seeping into everyday life at a rate of knots and many, I fear, are allowing it to become the norm without questioning it.

Yet all the lezzers on Pornhub are well fit

18 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Do you think she's earned that and more for letting the obese fucktard shoot his love juice in her egg tunnel?

She more than likely promised to keep those gnashers well away from his bell end

Just to lower the tone, as it were , you just know it that the lying cunt sack of shit will at times have sat across the desk from the Coffey woman thinking   "Yes .. I would "

The Patel womans knickers must be well and truly creamed  by now

Will the Afghan earthquake deaths and injury tallies have separate penis vs vagina premier league tables with additional full beard vs burka play offs,straight vs gay shoot outs [geddit],flapping tent vs badly maintained shack sub divisions .. in other words just like every other aspect of life in Talibanville. 

14 hours ago, Neil said:

Oh dear Rod, who dug this cunt up? Flat as a fucking pancake

My Ma still wants to know when Sir Cliff of Richard is on

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There's something about him that puts me in mind of the creepy little Nazi in 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark'. 

There's something about him that involves a length of rough sawn 4x2 meeting the slimy fuckers face at a rapid rate of knots

The de Pfeffel Johnson fuck must be unable to believe his luck   .. Not only an ongoing  war to brush up the Churchill tribute act , endless photo opportinities in India of all places  - in  a JCB factory ffs  .. brmm brmm,  crunchitty crunchitty. And now we now have the return of the Maddie Show [aka the Fragrant Kate and Gerry Saturday Night Takeaway ] to dominate  the headlines and the guest star is a fucking German - absolute fucking bingo . What next .. the Patel woman sets up a free deal with the Argies to dump asylum seekers in Buenos Aries. Next weeks  PMQ sees  Starmer gobbing a twirling green one over the dispatch box smack into the face of the Rees Mogg streak of piss with overspray landing in Nadine Dorries's crinkly cleavage.

That Andrew Neil might be a bit of a cunt but during the Netflix reality TV show about Savile he was the only guest celeb who got anywhere close to pressurising him by using his  years of media shithousery skills  to actually ask pertinent questions of him which certainly got the cunt sweating and almost but not quite got some semblance of an admission from the fucking sack of shit . Halfway through the programme Mrs Kurtz looked up from her book and  remarked "Sweet Jesus ..Savile looked like he fucking stunk to high heaven" . One thing was perfectly clear , old jug ears Charlie Boy, Thatcher , the BBC and the rest of the sychophants brigade were well and truly mugged off good and proper by the weapons grade weirdo. 

We have an Aunt aka Cuntuss Interuptuss
" What was she in .. was it Home and Away or King Lear at the RSC  .. Is he a real gay or has he got kids  .. Thought she was dead or was it the other one   ..  Ooh,  that Mrs Browns Boys is so good but it's annoying the way it clashes with the Michael McIntyre show "

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

 

Comedy is obviously subjective, but I think the key is  that the performer needs to steer clear of their own political ideologies, be that extreme left or extreme right wing views.

 

Chic Murray RIP  , Sean Lock RIP  .. that  is all and goodnight

"That's a very good question"  ..  " and what a twat you are for asking it" under the breath response by any squirming answer avoiding politician 

Boss - "Ok everyone , we're starting dress down Fridays next week."
Bert - dob fuck knows but mid to late 60's and definitely  longest serving team member -  "So what' s all this dress down palaver then ?"
Us - "Just wear the stuff you'd wear  at weekend Bert"
Friday - Us - DM's ,  Ruts t shirts , Harringtons etc.
Bert  ..  Laura Ashley floral print pinafore dress , cerise tights , sling back peep toe stilettos.

15 hours ago, Rev said:

Call me old-fashioned and an over-romantic bastard, but however much my head tells me that this cunt needs throttled with an inordinate degree of prejudice, I still find her curiously attractive and would quite contentedly while away an afternoon pulling her hair, slapping her arse and flooding her cervix.

That pair of soppy cunts Keats and Byron could have learned a thing or two from you Rev ... I also picture Starmer cracking off a sly one under the desk when he and Rayner appear together on TV

The continuing tale of epic shithousery in Muurica when a motorist exercised his constitutional  rights under the "do what the fuck I like"  amendment  when some inconsiderate locals were blocking the route of his leisurely evening drive. Good news is , since it's in Wisconsin and goes to trial he'll more than likely get the judge who last week was the compere at the  pasty faced AR15 totin' blubbering hillbilly cunts gig and declare the patriotic motorist not guilty of absolutely any fucking  thing at all and  furthermore fully entitled to compensation payment towards the bodyshop bill for his vehicle damage.  I'm just looking forward to the Fox News coverage .. after all, we could all do with a laugh these days

3 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

He's brown bread alright. I hope your not expecting a set of kitchen knives for Christmas in light of the undoubted kneejerk "emergency legislation" to tackle knife crime that parliament will enact now another one of their own has been chivved.

Say what you like about tories .. they don't fuck about when it comes to distraction news stories . 

Has anyone ever seen a Talibanner smile ?  All we ever get is scowling gun totin' flag shaggers . Lighten up you miserable fucks. You've got what you always wanted not to mention the best comeback tour of  the century since Barry Manilows Vegas residency. A few  pallet loads of Mrs Browns Boys and On the Buses VHS box sets with some Engelbert Humperdink compilation C90 cassettes thrown in would do the trick.   

55 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Somebody once used those exact words to me at work when I chastised them for some or other impropriety. Things quickly went downhill from there, but luckily HR took my side in the ensuing tribunal when no witnesses could be found to testify who had actually thrown the first punch.

A referral to the DILLIGAF desk always did it for me . Thankfully the regimental padre was never one to fuck around needlessly.

There was me thinking this was a post about 'may contain nuts' package warnings .. it's obviously about something much more trivial

17 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'll bet you didn't know that Rob Brydon can do a mean Ronnie Corbett? Oh no, wait, he does it almost as often as Gyps bangs on about going on holiday, the smug faced Welsh twat.

Rob Brydon is often mistaken for Ben Miller who is often mistaken for Anton du Beke .. cunts one and all ..  and one of them  is often seen with Alexander Armstrong.  All it needs is Laurence Fox , John .. I'm a scouser I am  .. Bishop and Giles Brandreth for cuntery bingo

The Rantzen bitch just about gets my vote  .. with all her fucking childline this and childline that bollocks which is merely her idea of reparation for being cosy as fuck  with 'the management'  at the time when the you know what sea of shit was occurring at the BBC and she naturally was unaware of anything untoward.