CCArchive

Gyms have changed. 'Mr Intensity' here gets in there, muscles up the weights, gets a bit of sweat going, pretty much runs from one set to the next, stretches, 60 minutes tops and I'M OUT OF THERE. Nowadays though, you've got some sweatbanded arsecrack fooling around with a giant rubber band or huge fucking rubber ball for a few minutes before he wanders over to the water cooler, checks out his pencil neck in the mirror, messes with his I-pod ('Yes Enya will lend this next set of bench presses so much gravitas'), waits a minute or two until the karma is just right and then does about 80 reps with a weight a hamster wouldn't find daunting, before going 'Twitter' to a waiting world.. Rinse and repeat for 30 minutes until a faint 'glow' is achieved.

I heard this term out in the wild for the first time yesterday. "Oh" said Elaine", "That's Jane's grandson Oliver, he's a chutney ferret!". Revolting term and revolting practice.

This Garden Invading, Cash in the Attic modern-day metrosexual fucking mincing scrotard chutter hippie bastard needs pulled out of the dark recesses of Rhona Cameron's gaping man-womb and beaten to fucking death with a tyre lever. Just listening to this shirt-lifting quince pancake makes you feel slightly gay and in need of a fucking scrub. An effete, poetry loving, Escape to the Country, armchair psychotherapist, Proms introducing, Buddhist, Morris dancing wanker. Fuck off back to Tunbridge Wells and kill yourself, you Stately supper, dinner mashing fire hazard, goat-blowing lavender menace wanker. Daisy Duke's a cunt.

This daft cunt don't point a gun at a rozzer who has also got a gun, especially if you are a wheelchair user. Fucked if I know what happened to the Tandy shops.

A piece of engineered software developed in America, by Americans who can't fucking spell English words anyhow which makes any electronic device thinks it knows more than you do about what you want to do before you've even thought about doing it......... It looks as though you want to write a Suicide Note. Let me help you with that. "Dear Mom,........since you grounded me for ruining your luxury towels........etc.."

If you haven't got a decent blazer you are a cunt. Simples.Go and buy one and smarten up if you haven't . A essential piece of clothing for appropriate sporting clubs such as golf sailing or cricket.About town at the weekend or simply taking the smart casual look to the a more refined level.Double breasted, single breasted, gold buttons, black buttons all fine.Best colours for a blazer... navy is a classic or maybe a green one if you Irish.I once saw a Negro in London in red one and he looked very smart.

Other than the "sucking stomach" its a cunt.

Its Hell. The seating arrangements have got me well flummoxed. Only four to a table. I've only got as far as Table 1 : PunkApe, Ratdeath, FUBR and Londonm. Table 2 : BronyKeith, Jazz, Kuntacunty,and the Rev, Table 3 .........and of course Applescruff will be helping out at the bar and cleaning the lavs ...Anyone help out or confirm attendance ?

Why can't these cunts just try to get along? Always falling out over ideology, land and other shi-ite.

Items are marked up at a low price but when you come to check out the price has doubled. Rip off cunts.

Ok i'm like a year behind the rest of the world with breaking bad...but i can't keep to myself any longer what a compete money grubbing whore slut cunt this cunt is!! I can't remember the last time some cunt made me this infuriated, since this morning at least!

I appreciate this topic has been covered before under "bald men with ponytails ",but I feel the subject should be revisited under et wider remit. Men being utter cunts with a woman's hairdo would be a better title. Do they want to be women? Most twats who sport this particular barnett seem to be working class.I surmise they copy the football playing community.. Peasants and plebs. They can fuck off as well.

Aided by new genomic technologies, biologists at The Long New Foundation in California are investigating the possibility of resurrecting creatures such as the sabre-toothed tiger, the woolly mammoth, Margaret Thatcher & George Formby

I've just been chatting to an extremely badly dressed cunt from the Congo. Apparently cooking a chicken in that neck of the woods involves throwing the poor cunt, alive, into a boling pot of water, then sticking a heavy rock on the pan lid to counter the dying creatures thrashing about.

If you're unfamiliar with the term, a fudger is a trainspotter who, instead of writing down the numbers of locos he's seen instead writes down the number of 'rare' locos he hasn't seen. He then flashes his notebook and/or locoshed in front of real trainspotters who have probably been up all night every night for the whole of the half term break in the vain hope of seeing a rare loco roar by.and then revels in the fact that he's well and truly pissed them off. The guy with the hat is probably a fudger and/or one of bronski's mates.

This really gets on my tits, forgive the pun. I'm a rather old-fashioned gent, and don't believe in breast augmentation surgery as a rule. Sometimes, like after a radical full mastectomy, or for a fully grown woman with the chest of a ten year old boy, OK, I understand it would do wonders for her appearance, sex appeal and self confidence. However, vanity surgery, just to one-up (or two-up) her girlie mates, is utter wank. Gravity happens, tits are eventually going to sag. Stretch marks, scarring from teething, (the baby teeth marks disappear (but the guys...), they're not going to stay 18 forever ladies. Having bags of toxic liquid goo implanted isn't the answer, because most cosmetic cunt surgeons can't do it correctly. Just don't do it. If you get that self conscious, join a convent or perhaps start a birds motorcycle club. Speaking for the lads, nothing is as off putting as seeing an otherwise good looking lass with a pair of phony half-spheres where a pair of nice natural tits ought to be.

As you can see on the map, most of the cuntbreeds that love to go to war are africans and asians, but in my opinion America is the biggest war mongering cuntbreeds of them all, they just crap on every other cunts doorstep, but a fact is there are a lot of these cuntocides in this country, and the conflicts that are in Europe are in Eastern Europe, and a fact is there are a lot of those cuntocides in this country as well, great isn't it, to have the worlds scumbags raping our country.

Give us all a Job again...

Cunt,had he lived we could all have been treated to endless comeback concerts and he would have turned into a fat elvis type cunt..well done plane.

This really fucking winds me up. The most common examples I experience are at train stations, where my life is regularly blighted and my finite time on Earth squandered by late running services. It does nothing to ameliorate my annoyance when a synthesised voice broadcast over the tannoy apologises, telling me that it is sorry for the delay to my journey. No it isn't. It's a fucking machine. Moreover, the fact that no cunt can be arsed to man the mike in person to apologise suggests a complete lack of sentiment on the matter. The domestic equivalent would be for me to set up a bunch of pre-recorded options on my answer machine along the lines of: "Press 1 to hear me congratulate you on the birth of your baby, press 2 to hear me express my deepest condolences on the death of your wife, press 3 to hear me sympathise in respect of your prolapsed haemorrhoids".

Now here is a binful of cunt if ever there was one. I was first exposed to this "entertainment" years ago, on some talent show bullshit, but how this is still doing the rounds is beyond me. A gang of bell-ends clattering around with bin lids ought not to stand the test of time, but I suppose the masses lap up Michael Fartley's "Feet of Flatulence" schtick, too. These cunts should get back on their dust rounds, where they belong, instead of labouring with a routine reminiscent of 1970s Falls Road residents' response to sighting an army vehicle.

Poor Misguided Cunts

He runs with limp wrists the Alan Carr loving cunt!! ... and his hair is so utterly shite it could only belong to a cunt that is covered in fetid pish!

A while ago I was at a mate's house party in Derby. Things were a bit boring at the start as all they did was drinking beer and listening to that dubstep music. Then another guest turned up later that night and was offering ganja to everyone. As I don

Inspired by others, or blatant thief? Certainly there's a debate to be had. What is beyond dispute is this cunt's history with girls under the age of consent should have seen him climbing the old yewtree; and as for that ridiculous pout the silly cunt puts on at the first sign of a fucking camera....