nocti

10 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

It was a name Jazz bestowed upon a group of members that considered him to be a fucking lunatic, and threw an awful lot of fucks into him. Magical times.

This did crack me up at the time. The avatar changes were an inspired bit of passive-aggressive magic. You could hear the mouse rattling in his hand from Papua New Guinea.

2 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Well whatd'y know; I bet no-one saw this coming:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/61371054

You could see this coming a mile away; which is about the distance this cunt would have to walk for a drink of water if he wasn't so busy being oppressed over here.

Perhaps he can go back in time and help his brethren actually achieve something of note, other than "perfecting" the recipe for peanut butter.

Westwood, Minchin, Henman, Burton, Vine, Cook, Cratchit... has there ever been a Tim who isn't a complete and utter cunt?

31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you dive into the changing room as soon as a fit one has vacated it, the cushion still smells of fanny. But you know that already.

I get the feeling this thread will be referred to as "Exhibit A" in a courtroom at some point.

9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

The whole hero worshipping cult that grew up around these cunts in the mind '00s continues to this day. No one put a gun against their heads and made them take the Queen's shilling. Why the fuck should they get compensation when one of their legs gets Tikka Massalad by a goat wallahs hastily prepared nail bomb? They knew the risks, it's no good crying to Hewitt's kid 15 years after the act.

"Help for Heroes". Fuck that, we should go back to the days when the army and all its recruits were considered to be the dregs and detritus of British society. 

Scum of the fucking Earth as The Iron Duke so accurately put it.

 

 

A quick glance around a few shopping centres up and down the country, followed by a meet and greet with the unwashed, kale-eating student cunts at some of our leading universities should give any aspiring arse-cadet wankers a clue as to what they'd be risking their lives for nowadays. I dare say you'd be able to fit our entire army inside Neil's rape-wagon.

I'd watch the fuck out of this if they were vetted for PTSD first, and only allowed to compete if they did have it. Imagine some mind-fucked raspberries thinking that one of the shots was going to explode after being thrown, tipping their wheelchair over believing that the javelin was just fucked at them by some 8 foot shine in a loincloth. A row of belmers all hobbling along, legs like snapped candles, lurching for their lives after hearing the starting pistol. It'd be fucking brilliant.  

38 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Bastani was a big Jeremy Corbyn fan, so I'd take any political opinion he advocates with a large pinch of salt.

To be honest with you, I'd seen that tweet linked to elsewhere. I tend not to drift into that wankosphere, and have no idea who that particular cunt is. 

8 minutes ago, Dead Penelope said:

I have in the past had arguments with Billy over this. The harsh truth is that it is likely that most English people do not really care either way or would actually support the idea of a united Ireland .. I for one would be perfectly happy to see a united Ireland.

This is pretty accurate.

Before you settle down to watch your streams, make sure to pull the blinds down. 

https://www.google.com/maps/@50.9012756,-4.3849378,0a,48.6y,51.4h,73.69t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1syL56j9fEzy-gyTcX3RwchQ!2e0

38 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Cunts Corner: The Musical 

35 minutes ago, Decimus said:

As long as there isn't an extended drum solo from Frank, followed by him flailing around like an even more brain damaged Bez, I'm game.

As I reckon the banhammer will be shoved up my arse if I even attempt to get some lyrics down, I'll happily do set design.

I hope none of you are squeamish though. Some of my initial sketches make A Serbian Film look like an episode of Bing. 

52 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I want to be minister for controlling darkies.

34 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Give me the Jews and we've got a deal.

This is the harsh-but-fair middle ground that politics has been crying out for.

Just now, Roadkill said:

Further context:

 

Ah, curse my reading comprehension. I'll just pretend you were waving it around with your other hand or something.

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Well it doesn't really mention it in the owner's manual - but it is made in Japan, so it seems rather obvious IMO.

Do you have to somehow blur out your cock as you do it?

This Elite cunt has a whiff of lavender about him. I want him fucked off here sharpish. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

Give it a rest @cunt

It is his username of course, but this reads beautifully.

13 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Thanks for fucking reminding me that this cunt will grace us with his annual appearance leading up to comic relief sometime in March. Lenny is the reason I stumbled upon this site.

Indeed. The cunt who labels those who attempt to assist the third world financially as people with a "white saviour complex", but insists we all dip our hands in our pockets for his Motherland once a year when he hosts his painfully unfunny smorgasbord of utter talentless wankers.

19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You only turn up if someone mentions Robbie Williams.

I resent that. 

You forgot our recently added, oddly melanin-heavy denizen of Middle Earth, Lenny Henry.

More on that fucking travesty later.

11 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

The racist cunt didn’t even include me. Being gay probably ain’t so bad.

Likewise. What a fucking doublecunt!

She should take solace in the fact that, if anything, I think she's too black.

There's not much I don't know about the fucking Afghans, and as far as I'm concerned, those slanty-eyed, wigwam eating, sausage wearing, burrito herding cunts can all go fuck themselves with one of their shitty little spears.

Saying it out loud is bad enough, but worse still are the cunts who constantly feel the need to actually type it out. Same goes for "uh...", "erm...", etc. The fuckers need their hands held in liquid nitrogen and their fingers kicked off. Then the remainder of them set fire to, naturally.

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Sheila Fogerty is without doubt the most unfuckable vile looking little freak of a cunt ever. I do hope she is cultivating the most incurable and aggressive cancer ever known to the medical profession  in her hitherto untouched by any male penis cunt.

I both admire and share this sentiment Billy, you bleak fucking bastard.

13 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

It turns out that 2015 was actually the good old days. The 2022 extravaganza just managed to sandwich in references to Black Lives Matter and women's football, before returning to Olly Alexander in the BBC studio. I'd never seen Olly Alexander before, and if you have been equally fortunate then you need to imagine a ginger beanpole with the dress sense of Lewis Hamilton but off-the-charts gay. As mentioned on here by Withers a while back there's a rumour that "he" might be the next Doctor Who, which sadly would not surprise me in the slightest.

 

 

Well, the BBC have really made clear their mission statement for 2022. Some fucking shirt-lifter singing utter shite before some annoying black man recites terrible poetry, followed by a wanky drone display with narration on, as you said, racism in football and a celebration of the upcoming Women's Euros.

Not three quarters of an hour in and I'm sick of it already.

2 hours ago, Rev said:

Even the one-trick-pony Cattrall cunt wearing a New York Dolls T-Shirt in the episode where they got caught smoking hash doesn't redeem this sloppy puddle of cancerous dog sick, although I always fancied spraying Charlotte's pert chest with a clackerbag's-worth of sock children (really just to watch the faux doe-eyed shock on her face as I squeezed out the last gobbet on her neck before using her hair as an impromptu cock towel), but to be honest, the now blonde ginger toe-thumbed shrimp-jockey cunt would get her balloon knot tanked with my Dutch glue if the Sky logo is anything to go by.
I still wouldn't use the perpetually limp-cocked tough wank and veiny Passchendaele mustard gas victim-handed looking Parker cunt as a draught excluder. In fact, I'd hesitate to wipe my barely-cooked Aladdin's Special Donner-caked arse on the Lemmy-warted slapper's face.

Mark Kermode is a cunt.
 

I'm beginning to see why you were turned down for that job at The Guardian now, Reverend.

I'd definitely check the oil on that Charlotte as well. Still looks fuckable and too old to be dropping clots now, although I'd probably still opt to just give her tits a basting.

Couldn't agree with you more about neighing spunksack and sentient peperami Jessica Parker, though. It'd be like fucking a scaled down Easter Island statue with a beach ball cellotaped to its face.