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nocti

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About nocti

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    Unequivocal Cunt

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  1. Many years ago, I worked with an Indian girl who was absolutely stunning. My ears pricked up when I heard mention of her sister coming in to drop some things off. Upon arriving, I was rather shocked to see that she resembled an extra from a George A. Romero film, that kept bees in the nude, smoked forty catherine wheels a day, and exfoliated with fox shit. I was convinced one of them had to be adopted.
  2. nocti

    BBC Salaries

    I'm suddenly filled with a warm nostalgic glow as I sit and reminisce over how much happier times were before I read this.
  3. I think this may be down to Lynch directing; sentimental and nostalgic visions of Victorian England viewed through the lens of a patriotic yank. It's his most critically acclaimed film, but certainly my least favourite.
  4. The hypocrisy is astounding. On one hand we're having global warming being shoved down our throats, guilt-tripped left, right and centre into recycling everything, and then this entrepreneur tries their hand at it and gets the book thrown at them. They should try taking this to the French version of Dragon's Den.
  5. I have to admit Rev, I don't know if it's my age, covid-induced desperation, or being on here with Neil for too long, but I reckon I'd leave her with an arse like a skydiver's mouth, given half the chance. That's giving her the benefit of the doubt that it's not in that state already, mind you.
  6. Before my time, I imagine. I must say I'm immediately won over by both the title and author. No sign of it via the search though, unfortunately. I imagine this is one for the wayback machine?
  7. Watched by blue-rinsed old morgue cheating women who get the dust blown off their growlers by excruciatingly unfunny wanker Matt Dawson, and their John Smiths drinking husbands who think Phil Tuffnell is just as cutting edge as a casio watch. The only way I'd be moved to give a fuck if it was Lenny Henry who took the hotseat, as it would act as a constant reminder that he isn't dead yet, or at least riddled to the teeth with cancer.
  8. You'd think with all the money that this bedwetting little cunt has, he'd get his lugs sorted, especially in the current climate. I bet he hires a team to help him get his face mask on and off. Also, if being gay is nothing to ashamed of, why hasn't he come out yet? The bloke's a fucking charlatan.
  9. Bit of advice to those who find themselves in the rather precarious, and frankly unlikely position of being offered a blowjob by Stacy Solomon. Keep her nice and warm. If her teeth start chattering, you're fucked.
  10. Has admin been putting ads for this site in the fucking Mencap mailout?
  11. I think this is what you're getting at... https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/coulters-law/
  12. It's good old-fashioned chivalrous and romantic gentlemen like yourself, Rev, that stop all these bloody modern multicolour-haired feminist types from becoming full on flap-foragers. The kind of man who holds the door open for a lady before rattling her fucking fillings out.
  13. More upsetting than when threads derail into straight up adversarial acrimony, is when they descend into excessive all-out pun wars. You ought to be fucking ashamed, and I say this as a Dad. It's bang out of odour.
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