nocti

Some of this ISIS shit sounds like it could've been on Brasseye. Fucking unreal.

Anyone for a kick about? If football offends we could always use Punkapes head.

Whoever's team I'm on, I want Keith in goal. You couldn't slide a rizla between him and the goalposts let alone a human fucking head.

Just as long as we don't play in a field with any ponies nearby.

Limited edition to sell a few million copies.

Perhaps the ISIS militant cunts overheard them shouting "COME ON MY SON!" and assumed they were glorifying Catholicism?

He may be feeling left out due to his incapacity for human attraction, so I have found something that may raise Keith's spirits, and undoubtedly his miniscule penis.

 

http://www.horse-news.net/2015/01/china-begins-mass-producing-inflatable.html

have a piss and give us a clue.

Sounds like a game show they'd have on ITV3 or Channel 5 these days.

Jesus H Fucking Christ. I appreciate the warning but morbid fascination got the better of me. I'd have done anything to ride her years back. The only way I'd ride her now is into battle.

Another load of cock from the sky fairy worshipping dick heads. Medieval Mecca cunts.

 

Did they have bingo back then?

Joanne Guest had the best pair of breasts I ever dribbled over and a lovely minge, but alas very plain Jane nowadays - sigh

Fuck me, that's a blast from the past. I used to throw myself around the house by my own cock to her pics as a teenlad.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you filthy little tykes are being quite bawdy here.

If there's no tits on page 3 its coz Cobra's licked em all off.

 

I bet he'll be more gutted that they didn't do a send-off 'scratch 'n' sniff' edition.

When you hear things being put down harder than they should be, you know she's dropping clots.

I don't buy this Murdoch shite, but isn't this is as British as drinking tea and fucking whining? If you don't want to see tits, don't look at page 3 of the Sun, likewise if you don't want to get your tits out, don't model for page 3 of the Sun. That should be problem solved, shouldn't it?

 

I think they're suddenly expecting a new wave of cunt builders, drinking their tea with fifteen sugars in, all discussing the pros and cons of another government coalition rather than ogling at some girl's swingers.

Snowmen too. You couldn't make this shit up...

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/01/12/us-odd-saudi-snow-idUSKBN0KL15N20150112

I hope the pint-sized twat flips another car, hopefully this time it's a convertible with the top down and a seatbelt malfunction, built by a bunch of fucking dullards who somehow got the airbag mixed up with one of those comedy boxing gloves on a spring.

Has it happened again then? I remember the cunts doing this over a year ago.

She sounded drugged up and fucked up once she became drugged up and fucked up. Until then, she had an amazing voice. Her early stuff was terrific, and I'm not somebody who usually cares much either way about vocals.

I personally liked her voice. She certainly channelled some of the greater soul singers, in vocals as they were back then, but in body how they probably were in their coffins at the time.

Come on frank you can do better than that!

I still consider myself relatively new here and even I know that it's kind of tradition at this point. It's like a rite of passage.

Being famous for a catchphrase is a prerequisite for any odious gameshow host cuntbreed, but being famous for a terrible one of a shit character from a fuck-awful soap surely elevates this ubertwat into the cunt Hall of Infamy.

They should do a TV show where, every week, they give him a fuck load of LSD, and perform root canal treatment on him whilst he's in a clockwork orange styled eye-vice watching reruns of Family Fortunes; all the while, a bag of red ants gets emptied onto his head every 5 minutes, a cactus is pushed into his ring piece every ten minutes, and he is wearing headphones that pipe the voices of his family saying how worthless he is. The only drink he is allowed is his own tears.

I'd watch him then I reckon.

Would love to see what their wedding "breakfast" was. Like these cunts ever need to break a fast. A few chairs perhaps.

You know you're a proper cunt when you have a football bloopers DVD out.

 

You know you're a proper cunt when you have a football bloopers DVD out.

 

This banefully unfunny streak of phlegm enrages the fuck out of me. The wife likes to watch this shit occasionally, at which point I bring out my emergency noise-cancelling headphones and volumes 1-3 of "Now That's What I Call Monkeys With Vuvuzelas", just so I don't have to hear such genius witticisms as "Let the wookie see the hole", "Let the prawn see the cracker", and "Let the treasure see the chest!". Fucking cunt.

 

The only time he'd ever make me laugh is if i saw him on fire, or being lowered into the ground. The cunt's only on television thanks to a bunk up with pie-worshipping Lancashire cunt Peter fuckwit Kay. When that equally unfunny tosspot fucked off out the limelight for five minutes, he should've dragged this malignant twat with him.

 

"Let the cunt see the door."

I stored tobacco underneath my foreskin.

 

Have you started naming your crabs now Keith? Fucking revolting miscreant.

Never been, but as has been mentioned before in the thread, Robbie fucking Williams being dragged into the world there is enough to make me avoid it like the plague. Which funnily enough is still rampant in Stoke, I hear.