nocti

haha well thats where my music career ended and a career in electrics and electronics began, id give it all up to play jesus hands are kind hands on the recorder whilst touring with say beyonce

With all due respect, how did fucking songs up on the recorder land you in electrics and electronics, and then shove you headfirst into the job of filling biscuits?

Why prof? All I said was Keith did something non pervy for a change.

Bit fucking far-fetched.

I can play Jesus hands are kind hands on the recorder. Beat that.

Fucking show off. I think I managed half of When The Saints Go Marching In before I nearly choked on the spit of the previous user and narrowly missed Mrs Wood's head when I threw the bastard thing in frustration.

I am deaf.

The chav grim reaper.

A fitting tribute Keith.

My mental image of him has bigger tits, but I'd agree with you there. Touching.

I'm right handed but apparently I eat left handed, as is often pointed out to me. I've managed to stay alive quite successfully up to this point in my life doing so too, so put your knife in your own right hand and check your fucking prostate with it.

Truth certainly is stranger than fiction as far as this pint-sized cunt goes. Any attempts to mock or caricature the fucker end up falling way short of the mark, because of what a crazy, clueless, dog-eating fucknut he actually is.

Voldermort with a fucking wig on. An inhumanely fucking ugly cunt that causes gale force winds whenever she sneezes. Can't act for shit either.

My Mum died of cancer this year after going into remission a couple of years back. She was in her early fifties. I can't say it's sunk in even now if I'm perfectly honest. My prayers for it to leave her and go find Bono went unanswered. My Uncle, who i was real close to, died of it a few years back too.

 

Sorry to hear of both your losses. Proper undiluted 24-carat cuntishness on a grand scale.

I always suspected roses were up their own fucking arses.

I already have a judas cradle and it's double glazed

Jammy bastard.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket the other day to reveal I had accidentally activated the voice to text function. The sound of the microphone scraping against my inner thigh and bollocks, through the lining of my pocket, managed to translate into something far more intelligible than any of the posts I've seen from you so far.

Ask for a judas cradle for Christmas. You'll love it.

I can honestly say I've never watched a whole episode of this shit, although I subconsciously know it off by heart from all the cunts discussing it at the top of their lungs at work.

If I wanted to watch someone eating an animals dick, bollocks, ring piece and eyeballs, I'll pick the missus up a sausage roll from Aldi.

He didn't sound too chipper after that orgy he went to, where he did a bit of psychedelic yodelling over people whilst they were busy shagging. Bless him.

I was going to do a separate nom for this, but I imagine some of the comments in this thread may align with what complete and utter hogwash this is.

The EU Human Rights Court have ordered France to pay thousands of Euros to those cunt Somali pirates after they were kept a couple of days longer than they were suppose to have been.

Now, the French are bellendrical beyond imagination, but this is a fucking joke. I had to check I didn't fall into a coma and wake up on April 1st.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30326397

The cunt constantly looks like he's had a contraption fitted that stretches his arsehole every time he smiles. It would explain why it looks so painful for him to do, but once he starts he just can't fucking stop.

I wonder if he'll say something in a hilarious Jamaican accent.

 

I too enjoyed his stand-up as a a kid. It was a bit 'safe' but it made me chuckle. Nowadays, the very sight of him fills me with an incandescent rage reserved for only the utmost of top-tier cunts.

Todger dodgers like her do my fucking head in. Nothing a cattle prod up her chuff couldn't sort out, gormless fucking bint.

I got asked a few weeks ago to be best man for a good friend of mine. I said yes, but now i want to do a complete 180 and tell him to stick it up his fucking arse.

 

Not the nicest thing a mate can do, but i'd rather boil my head in skunk shit than speak in front of a load of cunts who just want you to shut up so they can start stuffing their faces and get wankered anyway.

Fuck this, and fuck thanksgiving up the arse dry, but i'll happily celebrate independence day with them.

This personified pint of piss winds me right the fuck up no end, be it on the telly or the rare occasion I dare to listen to the cunt's breakfast show.

How he's landed a couple of the birds he has I will never know. He's certainly got a face for radio, and a voice for silent film too. Nauseating little fuckwit.

Eat shit and choke on it you bottom feeder.

mowr loot in fillins @ my teef then awl yous cunts in bank HAHA

RAV fucking 4 fickers HARHAR broom broom

 

Fuck me, I think it's trying to communicate. Someone get Keith in here to translate, he speaks cunt.

Whatever happened to Noms like this?

The mention of wheelchairs always seem to touch a nerve..

 

Namely the spinal ones, which can be why they're in them in the first place.