nocti

Their complete and utter pig-headed fuck off ignorance is almost admirable. Anything can be dealt with by a frown, shrug of the shoulders, quick grunty sigh and off they fuck to eat more small slimy animals. Fuckwittery reserved only for the upper echelons of the cunt fraternity.

Of course Bono gives a fuck. Who do you think delivers the cunt's glasses and hats by priority business class air travel?

I once had a long conversation with Shug's brother. There was something rather endearing about him and I found him really interesting and genuine. Can't say I'd want to be within pissing distance of Sir Lord HRH carm-n-buy-me-larvly-owinjiz barra-boy Alan though. I bet the arrogant cunt pays the BBC to air the programme so he can enjoy firing the daft cunts who believe its actually real on national TV for his own amusement. I had to fire somebody once and it was fucking horrible. Cunt.

I've always thought some kind of payment scheme was involved too. I owned an Amstrad CPC 464 as a kid, and that's the last vaguely relevant thing his shithouse of a so-called empire has done. Anything since has been to promote this visual tumour of a TV programme.

Out of curiosity, have any of these attempts to get his bellend browned ever worked?

 

If only being a clueless fuck-ugly spastic was an Olympic sport, i could've told my grandkids one day how I once conversed with a gold medal winning champion. However, in the complete void that is your meaningless existence, your only legacy will be getting spunk stains out of your favourite Right Said Fred shirt, you basement dwelling nappy shitting cunt. 

Ssh, judge takes great offence to being called a fat cunt.

Nobody that fat has any shame, surely. I bet he doesn't give a fuck.

Fuck off you fat cunt.

I sometimes get him mixed up with Ben Miller who's about as funny as a squashed baby

Oh god I think I know who you mean. That Jimmy hill chin channeling cunt who sidekicks the "pointless" Armstrong fuckwit?

I saw his arse in some programme about being Welsh. I don't know if that helps?

It certainly helps me see him as more of a cunt than I did already, which I thought was nearing the impossible. I am here to learn after all.

Never heard of or seen the cunt

Not that I'm assuming anything by your avatar or username, but he appears more on the telly than gramophone.

Sheep-scaring fucking cunt.

He's "funny" because he can do twatty impressions of people who are almost as cancerously unfunny as he is. Also, when he falls under the cuntishly sad misapprehension that he HAS said something remotely humorous, he does an infuriating cum-slurping wink and smile at the camera, immediately setting in immortal stone his status as one of the biggest cunts to ever taint the planet.

They'll get fuck all from me! I won't give away my money for ebola when it will be needed to treat food poisoning after the missus tries her hand at a holiday feast.

Colour me intrigued. What's on the menu?

Haven't they realised that Band Aid 1 & 2 hasn't changed a single fucking thing.The poor are are still poor and hungry and the rich are richer.

Fuck Geldof the trampy looking cunt.

 

I'm sure that with the almighty cut he gets from all this so-called altruism, the least he could do is sort himself out a bit. Nature backhanded the cunt by giving him a face that could curdle milk from a mile away, sure, and i'm not asking him to go and get plastic surgery or anything, but the least he could do is have a shave and sort his fucking hair out. I bet every time people see him with a coffee they flick a quid in it.

 

I think his choice to look like a bench dweller is his way of trying to connect with John Everyman, but the pot-bellied fly magnets he's trying to raise money for look better off than him.

Hazarding a guess at the absolute torrential cuntstorm of shit-tier celebrities likely to be present for the recording of this, i'm going to keep my fingers crossed for an "ill-timed" terrorist attack.

I went to Australia once. Within a few days I went red as a rapist, peeled like fuck, and trod in dogshit bare-footed.

 

Never been tempted to go back if i'm honest.

I take it there's no prizes for guessing what particular line of figurines that Keith played with, and still does?

Anyone care to explain to a newcomer exactly what the fuck I'm witnessing here? It looks like some kind of insidious preamble to an asphyxi-wank or something similar.

Not that I hate London or anything, but I always feel an unnerving sense of dread whenever I'm there outside of work time. Not a "fear" type of dread, I could fight its bearded skinny-jeaned population off with a bar of soap after all, I mean that type of existential dread, when you realise the species you belong to is clearly fucked.

Shortarsed fucking granny pleaser does my tits in too. His alleged "legacy" is only kept alive by the even less funny lamb-botherer Rob Brydon doing shit impressions of him on whatever shit-tier panel show he hosts at the time.

They all taste the fucking same no matter which one you get. That being said though, i find myself somewhat addicted to them.

There's a woman i work with who has a cigarette break on average every 20 minutes or so, then gets all fucking menstrual when the boss allows me to leave 15 minutes early so i can get to the bank before it closes. Wretched old trollop.

Nothing's wrong, i'm absolutely fine ....................... Everything's wrong and it's all your fucking fault.

at least having mentioned that here now I will not suffer alone.

 

Agh, for fucks sake.

Just watched a couple of this cunts' videos on youtube. The guy's a few tugs short of a bloody good wank.

At least no cunt's had the bad taste to put up a picture yet.

 

 

Where the fuck is Sporty Spice?