nocti

She looks like Stevie Wonder's etch-a-sketch of Jar Jar Binks, and I bet her fanny resembles an abattoir doormat, but I'd split her mutton shutters, spin her round, and give her a German eyebath any day of the week. 

Perhaps that would fucking cheer her up a bit, the miserable bitch. Not enough to start singing again though I hope.

53 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

A bender replacing him or just anyone replacing the tax dodging shitfuck?

Him being off the TV at any cost. I wouldn't give a fuck if it was Elton John, as long as that elephant-lugged crisp fucker was gone; unless he was broadcasting live from Guantánamo Bay.

6 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

The BBC are cunts, they'll employ a transbender to replace Gary Lineker next.

 

That's one scenario I actually wouldn't mind.

42 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I fucking hate you but occasionally you do make me laugh out loud.

Fuck off.

He's made me laugh twice in one month, which since I've been on the site has been totally outside the realms of all possibility. He is a prize cunt who has fondled more tackle than J. R. Hartley, but occasionally he doth raise a brief chuckle. The fucking idiot.

I enjoyed his performances in The Goon Show. Although to be honest, I thought the cunt died ages ago.

I hope Stevie Wonder is treated with the same contempt, as he uses the phrase himself in his 1973 hit "Living For The City." It's not known if he penned it before or after he knew he was black either, so they should throw the book at the gurning, rubber-necked cunt.

I know the Go Compare cunt is low hanging fruit, and has been cunted a few times already, but recently he's reverted to his "normal" self in the ads, and he's even more of a fucking unbearable wanker than when he's playing a caricature. I hope the fat cunt catches fire, on livestream.

Surely concrete proof against the claim of intelligent design, unless God was absolutely off his tits. The cunt's eyes are on different sides of his head, not face, and he seems to be able to conjure chins at will.

He should be relieved of his duties, and put down.

Rick wasn't as bad as applescruff, as mundane buggers go. Trying to compare the two of them is like comparing... erm... 

17 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I love these cunts who stand on the shore with placards saying "refugees welcome". But obviously nowhere near them. 

Just now, Jake The Muss said:

Asda's is for cunts..never heard of the zombie looking cuntbreed in the picture..but looks like he could do with a windpipe snap, followed by a brutal attack to solar plexus using a spring loaded cosh, spread out on a breaking wheel and blow torched. That should do for starters.

You're not missing much Jake. Just a boss-eyed simpleton acting as a walking, dribbling testament to the perils of inbreeding. He is a cunt, no mistake, but kudos to Asda for being aware of their target demographic.

If he is not henceforth known as Roger Poultry then I'll be fucking livid. The dirty cunt.

44 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

My task is to be the three wise monkeys watching Twin Peaks The Return and enjoying it more the second time round. I think it paid off. Johnson as PM is the big NO DEAL. 

Episode 8 is the best hour of television i think I've ever witnessed. The Return as a whole isn't a patch on the original run though, in my opinion, but it rewards repeat viewings immensely.

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

What have these 5 cunts got in common?

Philip Schofield
Jimmy Somerville
Tom Daley
Christopher Biggins
Peter Tatchell

 

They are all in photo frames on your bedside cabinet....

lol.

Fuck off etc.

Fuck me, it's already that time of year again where punkers makes me laugh. Just like Christmas, only the circumstances are a little more far-fetched. 

44 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

Challenge accepted.

Not that it's racist to realise that the diversity which commissioner of this coin, Rishi Sunak, is referring to only really began establishing itself in the 1940's, by which time Britain was a thriving nation in and of itself, but I must admit I was interested in what you gentlemen thought of our lovely new 50p piece coming out next week...

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-diversity-built-britain-coin-unveiled

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Simply roasted for about 20 minutes with a forestiere sauce served separately.A couple is rashers on bacon on the devil before goes in the oven is essential...

 

2 hours ago, cuntspotter said:

That’s more or less how I cook mine...I don’t eat it often...it can be very dry.

One of many reasons I still love the corner. On one thread we have certain members getting each other more rattled than the perimeter fence at Auschwitz, then on the next one down we have people swapping tips on how to cook a fucking grouse.

9 minutes ago, Frank said:

Dance with me Nocti..

 

Remarkable choice Frank, I like this song a lot. Pendergrass had one hell of a voice on him.

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Cunt looks like a half-melted Freddo chocolate that was dropped onto the floor of a barber shop.

I can confirm this. A few months back, my kid dropped a Freddo whilst having his hair cut, and I told him I'd have to throw it away as it now looked like Alison Hammond.

2 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

Have any ladies survived a date with you Rev ?  

I've heard rumours that at least one lived, but couldn't tell the tale on account of having a ravaged throat, friction-fried hands, and an arse like Joseph Merrick's hat.

About as funny as finding someone else's spunk on your bone cancer x-ray.

19 hours ago, Neil said:

 

Managed to see these do an acoustic set many years ago in an old church. Haunting isn't the word. Their new album isn't their best, but is very good.

22 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Ape is a peasant and should be downtrodden by his social and intellectual superiors.

So why hasn't he been, then?

The whole point of the South Park character "Token" is obviously lost on these stupid cunts.

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

I expect that's what his cum-face looked like as he splashed all over Dawn French's flabby, Mr Staypuft tits.

I'm suddenly filled with a warm nostalgic glow as I sit and reminisce over how much happier times were before I read this.