Earl of Punkape

22 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Good morning, idiot.

Good morning cretin.

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I’m really worried that I may have Monkeypox. I don’t have any blisters, or any of the other telltale signs but I’m frightened in case I’m asymptomatic. I don’t know if I could survive another couple of years under the bed watching Sky News telling me I’m about to die.

Hopefully you’ll have complications and/or another STD piggy-backed on it. 
Your genitalia could drop off within weeks.

14 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I imagine that you have developed some sort of primitive algorithm to determine the best country that you could move to based upon your degenerate proclivities.

Unfortunately for you, the nations that have disgustingly low ages of consent also criminalise homosexuality.

Kill yourself, you sick, fucking beast.

 

Reported for Paedo inferences.

Another lower middle-class underachiever with an offensive civil partner…. dresses in his and his tracksuits

lol.

42 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

You may recollect he called himself 'r-soles', before perpetually reincarnating in a vain attempt to escape an unhealthy stigma with shit: Joker (as though he was clever/evasive and couldn't be caught, lol), then Dave, then as me, then whatever name Roops 'punished' him with, and now cunt. Cue the way his profile features a dozen beach-clad hotties in a futile crack at disguising the instantly recognisable whiff of a psychologically unstable turd.

Speaking of which, have you left the Christmas lights up again on your local authority (or at best shared equity) house guttering this year? From the comfort of his tatty, skidmarked, life-long council house living room chair, I'll wager every Christmas your old man still burts into tears after a few cans of Foster's and salted peanuts, reeling off his annual drunken 'I'm so praaad of our boy, Mercedes. Me ickle nipper dun good... I know he's a shirtlifter but me old bath-bun only went & became a faaaakin' estate agent! He's made his old man so praaad, Merc.' 

You're as public school as a neck-tattooed Tesco checkout monkey.

You’re chippy because you’re lower-middle class and socially shunned by middle-class types and professionals.

A decent golf club won’t happen either because of an offensive wife or civil partner and several convictions for assault and indecent exposure.

Perhaps a new life in West Africa or Benidorm beckons…

2 hours ago, cunt said:

As a frequenter of the Gents toilet in the park where you walk your Poodle, I think you'd definitely be well qualified to make an assessment on the comparative sizes of the male member, Woofles.

I see another Rampton inmate has found the board during my absence.

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Have you refilled Mtembe this morning, with jubilee jizz?

Have arranged your visit to Llama enclosure a Chester Zoo yet ?

42 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Dobri ranok, Ape. You’re refreshingly positive this morning, for a change. Obviously, drink Skydrol, cunt.

With ladles of Paraquat and Weedol….

lol.

2 minutes ago, Carl Sway said:

I'm male. Why do you ask?

I was asking for a friend who has measles…

17 minutes ago, Carl Sway said:

She's about 33.

Are you a man or a woman?

5 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’m sure you’ve been on intimate terms with most of the ‘members’ at several clubs. The Blue Oyster Club amongst them.

Where is it?

7 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I can well imagine you’ve played the odd hole with him. Wrong ‘un.

I haven’t but several services chums have…not a great day out…

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I see Dame Arlene has been honoured for her lifetimes work on the frontline in the war against Catholicism and similar demonic entities. 

Arlene Phillips?

4 hours ago, Neil said:

Yeah? And my pricks a bloater.

Lying fucking paedo cunt.

Harry and Meegun have AIDS and Ebola so they’re excused too…

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

He's too thick to have formulated any kind of plan himself, so I suspect the Queen's press office played the covid card to ensure there are no distractions or risk of booing from the public to tar such a memorable occasion.

If he actually has covid, perhaps he'll sweat it out.

I believe he’s playing golf at Royal Windsor.

He can’t show his face anywhere else at the moment.

He was an honorary member at one of my clubs but he’s been….”not renewed”…. 

4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Reported for insinuating bestiality.

You could be close to offspring with a Peccary..

lol.

30 minutes ago, Carl Sway said:

'Ed Sheehan'. You've really got your finger on the pulse.

God knows where your finger is…unless you have a large Peccary on your lap…

lol.

8 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

But the criticism was of their gungas not their general attractiveness. My first shag was a ging. Nice looking girl, clout like splattered red squirrel. Smelt similar come to think of it.

You’re better off at the Zoo…breaking in after Midnight with a tub of lard and kitchen accessories…

lol.

5 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

You opened that snuff box today, didn't you ?

You appear more homosexual deranged driven than usual, go and get your lumps checked out.

You’re recall to prison must be imminent….pack your soap box 📦 

lol.

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Are you currently broad-ringed?

You’re Lord of the Rings in Broadmoor…

lol.

Just now, Dyslexic cnut said:

If ever a comment based on experience was made on here…this is it.

From our resident soap dropper on the back foot…

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

This is a disturbing comment and won’t go unnoticed by the members. 

Are you currently in Broadmoor ?

1 minute ago, Jake The Muss said:

We all have our limitations, at least one of mine isn't falling to my knees in a gay golf club.

I bet you drop the soap in the prison showers and arrive with a large box of soap bars and have cultivated dropsy..

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I wouldn’t know. I was educated by the Christian Brothers and my helmet and hoop remained intact from prep to the upper 6th.

2 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I wouldn’t know. I was educated by the Christian Brothers and my helmet and hoop remained intact from prep to the upper 6th.

You were obviously hugely unattractive and undoubtedly remain so..

lol.

8 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

No i won't because i'm not a deluded stupid fucking cunt...a fucking cunt (yes)

You’re IQ seems to fall every week..

Just now, Dyslexic cnut said:

Honest question, Punkers. When you felch your own semen from Mtembe’s anus…does it taste of chocolate?

When you break into Chester Zoo with a pot of Vaseline and a rolling pin have you actually decided which enclosure you start with?