Last Cunt Standing

17 hours ago, Wolfie said:

 

You both make some good points, especially with your teacher analogy Doc. I get it, though I can't recall any teacher ever receiving a half-million quid salary, especially not in Dumfries. Can you? As for you, Roops baby, it appears you've got your stockings in a twist. Actually, I didn't word my previous comment very clearly: I was merely making a present-day comparison with you & the BBC lefties' stance on this latest White City decable, in which you haven't criticised their handling of the Edwards scandal. I'm well aware your politics can sometimes be right of Ghengis Khan, so my riling of your sensitivities wasn't intended. Keeping on topic – all I can say to the pair of you otherwise collectively is bullshit. 

What Huw Edwards has done may not be legally wrong, but it is definitely morally wrong - and it appears the BBC was prepared to cover it up, because this is the first thing it always does in sex scandals involving senior members of its staff.

The whole mental health card Huw has played has probably come about on the back of his team of solicitors' advice as way of damage limitation (if I may opine, you may think differently). Mental illness is an illness and not an excuse for immoral behaviour; this card has been played too many times by entitled people such as he.

Feeling bad because you were caught out doing something embarrassing or shameful, like paying a 17-20yo £35k for images of his privates and allegedly doing videocalls in underwear does not equate to genuine mental health issues. It’s more accurately known as feeling sorry for yourself because you are deeply embarrassed about your behaviour. The British public had and has every right to know who this person was, and to watch as the tabloids tear his arsehole to shreds. Frankly, it comes with the territory of happily receiving a half-million quid salary, and abusing this position of familiarity and trust (esp. in the eyes of young people). Mental health should not be used by powerful people such as Huw (in my opinion) to justify any questionable behaviour. I very much get the feeling this route has been taken by him. After all, this then-unrevealed person was quoted "I'm in it for the long game" on Ratty's R2 show before his wife spilled the beans, such was her intolerance of the ensuing ignominy. 

Let the (most certainly) former BBC news anchor be made an example of, for others in future to avoid behaving like filthy, trust-abusing dickheads who are paid huge salaries by the public. You never know – this clear victory for the right-wing chav's paper of choice might just clear up the BBC a little bit.

Shite, even by your usual pub-bore standards. 

1. You concede Huw Edwards hasn’t done anything legally wrong, but find his conduct morally dubious. So? Who died and made you witchfinder general? (What’s a decable, when it’s at home, anyway?). 

2. You seem very aggrieved at the size of Huw’s wages, and somehow you conflate this with his behaviour. The more he is paid, the higher moral standards you apply, is that it? So a janitor at Bush House can do pretty much as she pleases and you’re not bothered? By all means make your case that BBC staff are overpaid, but to base your expectations for personal behaviour on the back of income is balls. To imply that people in receipt of public funds as salary devolve all personal agency to the public is mad, and leads to the sort of spectacle where ignorant string-vested tossers hammer on provincial Council reception desks bellowing “I pay your wages, pal”, an odious behaviour I suspect you aren’t unfamiliar with. 

3. You patently know nothing about mental health either in general or in this case. You allege it’s used as cover for bad behaviour after the fact, and all I can say is I hope you aren’t a magistrate or serve on a jury. Huw has talked publicly about his depression since at least 2016. So he was just playing the long game, was he? In moments of psychological crisis, people make decisions they wouldn’t normally, which might not later stand up to scrutiny. This doesn’t ever excuse criminality, but provided no crimes are committed, I’d suggest a little more empathy and a little less spittle-flecked fury might be a better approach. Never done anything wrong you later regretted, you silly little man? No mental infirmity affecting the branches of the Lupine family tree? Perhaps not, as I suspect you’d have to shake hands with someone to form a synapse. 

4. You’ve tried several times to obfuscate the age of the non-complaining image provider, using a vague 17-20 catch-all and the label “teenager” to conjure up in the reader images of a naive spotty youth. For all you know, this might be a razor-sharp young adult with zero shame about legally selling images of their naked body for cash. Like say, Samantha Fox, once enriched by the very paper you line up to defend, and at 16, rather younger than this young man who has done nothing illegal according to Police, and who’s conduct is literally fuck all to do with you. 

5. This is a clear victory for The Sun, is it? Well I’ll be filing that away for the coming day Huw walks away with seven figures from the High Court for the most egregious career-ending libel. If he can’t read out the news of his inevitable victory himself, I hope he rubs some noses in it by writing a large cheque to The Terence Higgins Trust, then stomps off down Old Compton Street to party all night with a Twink army.  

6. The BBC Cover-up angle is particularly nonsensical to me. To review, they supposedly had a parental complaint that a senior employee was in contact with their adult drug-using son over the internet eight weeks ago. Before they could investigate fully or act, a gutter rag broke what they thought was a great scoop, mostly because it fitted their owner’s jaundiced view of the BBC. Turns out to be not much of a story, with no clear “victim” other than a few butt-hurt Mary Whitehouse types. But the BBC, being so terrified of gobshite armchair HR experts post-Savile, ran wall-to-wall coverage of the feeding frenzy on their channels, rather than saying, entirely reasonably, “it’s an internal matter currently under investigation, fuck off”. Some cover up. Contrary to your purple-faced rage, the public has zero right to know if a public employee is being investigated for a non-criminal personal matter, and even then no right to know anything exists until the matter is concluded. What would you do, if some seedy allegation was made to the owners of your West Country Estate Agency (different! Not publicly funded! Tosser.) against you by the parents of a porn star you’d once happened across on the internet? Pull out a blade and disembowel yourself at your desk? Good to know. I mean, why bother with due process at all, eh? Just let the public scream nonce at anyone they dislike with no evidence and no investigation, then drag them onto TV for a forced ritual humiliation and thumbscrews. Sounds like a very healthy system. 

7. The British public had and has every right to know who this person was, and to watch as the tabloids tear his arsehole to shreds. This sentence is disgusting. It’s about vengeance, not justice. Because you don’t like the politics of his employer, or how much he is paid, you’re effectively sanctioning the public lynching of someone on suspicion of their legal behavioural choices you happen to dislike, and before any proper inquiry occurs. You’re a thug, and a pretty shameful one at that. 

8. Have you paused to reflect on why Huw? I can think of hundreds of UK targets more befitting a savaging by the tabloid press. Yet time after time, they get a pass, a soft-focus lifestyle piece in the Sunday supplement, or worse still, promotion of their ideology in the organ you so idolise. You might spend a little time trying to work out why that is, once you pull your head from your arse. 

10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Do you remember Fred Trueman getting hustled by John Lowe and Eric Bristow on a programme he used to present called ‘The Indoor League?

Bristow and Lowe weren’t known outside of darts circles, they turned up to take part in a ‘180 challenge’. They had ten minutes to hit as many maximums as possible, with £180 for each one. They had clearly practiced and were running back and forth to the oche, throwing past each other on the return. 
 They hit around two dozen and had to stay back at the studio until the BBC had sent a runner to the bank to get their winnings.

Willie Thorne did something similar with an 8 ball pool challenge on the same programme. It was the late 70s and neither snooker or darts were regularly televised, so world class players could turn up anonymously.

Ahl si’thee. 

31 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

What who said?

How am I "pleading" for anything? All I'm doing is pointing out that US murders are a relatively parochial concern, why should anyone waste their time trying to work out which of this week's domestic atrocities is the subject of your post.

It's always amusing how the addition of the adjective "American" automatically makes anything worse: American football, American beer, American children ... American president...

Frederick Sewards Trueman had a special phrase for circumstances like these, when he fired in a ripsnorter from the Kirkstall Lane end, only for some poor sap to stand blinking as the ball whistled past his nose.

“That wer wasted on thee, Lad”. 

On 16/07/2023 at 17:57, Mrs Roops said:

Really, people should pipe down and let the Edwards family deal with their laundry in private.

Amen. Anyone who thinks differently at this point I suspect has a rather rusty anti-BBC axe to grind. The size of the inevitable libel payout is already the talk of the locker rooms at the Inns of Court, though I suspect Old Rupe will consider it worth every penny if he keeps the BBC in the crosshairs. The possibility that commercial broadcasters might want to neuter the Beeb as the only resistance to their own pernicious news agenda seems to pass so many people by. I’m also astonished that so many people who spend so much time wrapping themselves in the flag seem to so keenly trash a source of considerable British soft power heard around the world. 

Those still waving their pitchforks whine about vulnerable teens and abuse of power. There is of course much we don’t know about how Huw met this young person. Doctors, teachers and other public servants are rightly in trouble if they abuse their position to solicit sex or sexual services from people they have professional contact with. But if a fiftysomething teacher in Dumfries strikes up an internet relationship on Grinder with an 18 year old man he doesn’t know in Truro, no crime has been committed. The regulators would soon be overwhelmed if every publicly funded employee who ever purchased internet porn from an adult provider was referred to them to be “struck off”. That indeed is the police’s view in this case. Once “no crime” was the outcome, the story surely died and it’s interesting to note The Sun’s editorial board have already called in a small army of KCs for insulation. The young person appears to have protested at his parentally-imposed victimhood, and it’s worth reminding ourselves he himself made no complaint of improper conduct. How this constitutes an abuse of power is a bit of a mystery to me. Pip Schofield had the additional problem of relations with a young employee. I’m not aware the BBC Newsroom is shared by the parties in the Edwards case.  

Some might be morally queasy at these events. They might be angry at the licence fee model or the salaries some people earn in the BBC. These are often long-standing grievances, and might well be driving some of the outrage. But those are surely entirely different debates which don’t need polluting with pearl-clutching “won’t someone think of the children!” bluster, which is as fatuous as it is transparent. If those still outraged want to turn their fire on the likes of Grinder, OnlyFans, Snapchat and TikTok, which are facilitating many relationships which would seem to mirror this one, good luck to you. 

3 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Well, there patently fucking is... We aren't all obsessed with obscure crime documentaries. The septics spend half their time stabbing and shooting each other; why should anyone give a fuck about this one?

You shouldn’t, particularly. What you attend to and what you ignore is entirely up to you. But I’m not sure your plea for collective ignorance of American violence is entirely consistent with your previous utterances. I mean, say you’d piped up with commentary on another American murder some time ago, you might be a bit peeved if you met a wall of “why should we give a shit” type responses, no? Perhaps best to read it, grunt your disapproval, and click on to the next topic. Hypocrisy is such an ugly trait. 

On 25/11/2020 at 14:41, Hammer of Cunts said:

How they do things in the US is up to them. Although I'm not really a "string-em-up" sort of bloke; it's very difficut to feel any kind of sympathy for this shit.

Apparently: "Hall was the second black man to be executed by lethal injection on federal death row in recent months." The crudely confected pathos of the reporting is a quite desperate attempt to shoehorn in a bit of liberal social commentary.

Other than their race, I suspect that another thing that they had in common was that they were both fucking murderers.

https://news.sky.com/story/man-killed-by-lethal-injection-in-eighth-federal-execution-under-trump-12137514

 

5 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Apologies, cunt…it’s locked. She called me today and said ‘it must weigh, erm, roundabout, erm, 7 stone!’ Who the fuck talks like this?  It’s been in the attic for 27 years and the recently evicted tenant was Alzheimic and 95 years old. Now…last fuckin time…any ideas?

27 years puts us back to 1996. Is it Mel B’s cock and balls before he joined the Spice Girls?

For some time this little collection of unfortunates has been my favourite whodunnit, and I’m quite surprised that the Police have now made an arrest in the so-called LISK investigation. Rex Heuermann, an otherwise nondescript architect, has been charged with three of the murders, with the expectation more will follow. His perverted internet search history has been held up as evidence of deviancy, plus his use of burner phones, and crucially there appears to be a DNA link to the victims, his sample having been obtained from a discarded pizza box. Some say the killer might have topped 30 victims, impossible to know as the dumping area was inundated by the sea in Hurricane Sandy and some evidence is now with the fishes. 

The recent pattern of criminal geniuses being undone by pizza boxes - Rex, Andrew Tate, must be a PR nightmare for those twats at Dominoes who put a leaflet through my door approximately every eight seconds. 

Anyway, bit of a Cunt being exposed as a serial killer by a stray slice of Hawaiian is all I’m saying. 

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Would you open a box you know is from Tyneside without a hint of what might be inside?

Why aye. I’ve got a feeling it’s the master copy of Money For Nothing, the one with the faggot lyrics in. Definitely verboten these days. 

12 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Mrs Cnut’s up in your neck of the woods. She’s sold a house up there and found an unlocked safe in the attic. The hungry cuntess has wrestled it into the back of the car and there’s something rattling inside. Any ideas. It’s in West Allotment?

If it’s unlocked, can’t she just open the door and find out?

I’m still reeling from the sight of Annabelle Croft in a Laura Ashley frock. I thought she was dead, not picking up the crumbs from Sue Barkers’ table. Doing the there-there bit to Jabeur at the end you could see the Tunisian’s eyes narrow with the fleeting thought of “yeah? Don’t patronise me love, I could have beaten you if I was under general anaesthetic, fuck off world number two hundred and sixty”. La Croft then had the temerity to utter “we need to have a word about your box” to which the obvious rejoinder might have been “who the fuck are you, Clare Balding?”. 

Cut to HRH Katie tottering about like an anorexic giraffe to give out a gold dish to the Czech. You could almost see her shudder at the mention of the Venus Rose Water dish. That woman. That fucking woman and her strap on. They’ll cost me this gig one day. 

Look out for a White Fiat Uno on the drive home, love. And for Christ’s sake don’t be early. Wills is entertaining. 

I can’t work out if La Price is channelling Adam Ant or Robbie Fowler, the addled sow. 

Roy Castle must be spinning in his grave. And coughing. 

28 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

So she’s a tad musty, quimwise?

Fuck off. 

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Straight question. Do you spend much time in the bush?

Yes I do. I even have a special hat to keep the flies at bay. 

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

With that stolen, British taxpayer funded, lucrative pension you’d think you’d have someone do it for her. Mrs Cnut has her talons done professionally you cheap Cunt. Admittedly it’s at Cammell Lairds, mind.

I can assure you she’s no stranger to the billions of oriental nail emporiums we have Down Under. Problem is she’s such a faddy fucker that she likes to match them with the outfit, change them for a work theme day, or charity something or other, and if she didn’t set-to with the DIY kit from time to time she spend half her week in Chinese Alan’s Keratin Laboratory. She’s paying for it her bloody self so what do I care. I like a woman who invests in her appearance. She keeps threatening to dye the landing strip and I don’t think she’s planning to break into Perth Airport with a tanker full of cochineal. 

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Do you remember that in the film, Tom Hanks left one Fed-Ex parcel unopened and eventually delivered it to its intended recipient after he was rescued.

Wouldn’t it have been funny if the parcel had turned out to contain a Swiss Army knife and a military grade tactical distress beacon with a 5 year battery. 

I’d vote for a prepaid satellite phone. Maybe a few crank calls before you ring for pickup. 

18 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Those aren't tattoos on her leg. It's guide lines for the surgery seams for when she cannon balls out another Godspacker.

Plastic surgery is an amazing thing. She probably came out of the birthing room looking like that half a cunt Tom Hanks was dragging across the beach at the start of Saving Private Ryan.

Straw Poll: if you could fit the fugly bint in a working microwave, would Katie Price a) Melt b) Explode or c) a then b ?

6 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Your Abbo wife will crayon on it. Then you’ll have to keep it and do indigenous tours around the mystic settee. Fuck off.

Outrageous. At least you didn’t suggest we’d sell it for a huge mark up. My wife’s heritage is European, so the only thing she paints is her nails. 

On 12/07/2023 at 19:54, Decimus said:

It's been 25 years since they were called Chaddies, Paki Joe's, Darkie's Barber Shop and Greek John's chippy, but I refuse to utter the words MacColls, Morrison's, Tesco Metro and Great Yarmouth Borough Council Municipal Car Park.

Get fucked.

Lololololol.

In about 1998 I once got a right earful of a young man in a BTCellnet store (remember them?) after I called their parent company “British Telecom”. “It’s BT now, mate, we don’t use the British”. He was of course well ahead of his time and is probably now CEO, but he didn’t half go a funny colour when I pulled my dividend cheque out of my wallet and asked him how I’d go about getting it rebranded. I moved to Vodafone. 

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Fuck me. This NHS thief is 9000 miles away and he can still have a clearer view of what’s going on in this filth media country than its inhabitants. Fuck off with the Sun serenades ffs!

Thief? I’ll have you know I earned every pension day, thanks very much. I’m rather glad it’s paid in pounds at the moment too. When’s the next BoE Interest Rate meeting by the way, I’ve got a new sofa on order. 

7 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Are we to be eternal enemies, Doc?

You'll agree I've handed a couple of gentle olive branches out (to you) recently

your infrequent brilliance as a commenter

I’m only paying attention to these bits. 

No, not eternal enemies. You don’t qualify for my list. I had noticed the thawing of relations and that suits me fine. Let’s call it a working truce. I only queried your alignment with The Sun because it was quite a surprise, being usually indicative of learning difficulties, a diagnosis I doubt you have. It’s a shame you’ve doubled down on Rupert Murdochs’ wrinkly old organ. 

Your funeral. 

So what’s on this missing mobile phone that Boris is running the risk of a Contempt charge for anyway? I’ll open the bidding at badly coded instructions from his FSB handler, and a muff shot of Nadine Dorries. 

Perhaps The Sun could turn their investigative spotlight on the situation?

13 hours ago, King Billy said:

What about breaking lockdown? It was enough to unseat a democratically elected PM after a long and concerted campaign by the corporation which the pompous little overpaid Welsh cunt Edwards gets paid nearly half a million quid a year by for reading a fucking teleprompter a couple of times a week. Fuck him and his fucking mental issues. If he’s proper mental he should hang himself to prove it.
 

So it was the BBC who drove Boris out of office, was it Bill? Not his entire Government resigning as one because the Cunt can’t lie straight in whichever bed he happens to be in? I think the prevailing view is that BBC have been rather too friendly to the government of late, nothing of course to do with the Chairman facilitating a loan for Bozza for a few hundred grand. 

Tinfoil’s a little on the tight side tonight Bill. Or perhaps you’re still pissed from Wednesdays Burn-A-Fenian day. You know there’s a vaccine for hangovers now, don’t you?

9 hours ago, The Beast said:

The only person playing is you with yourself. I don't give a fuck about these media arseholes. 

“But I don’t want bloody guitar lessons!”

2 minutes ago, The Beast said:

Doc, anyone with any discernment knows the media are all lying bastards, drip feeding the masses, long before Huw Edwards had certain maladjusted ways of reaching the vinegar strokes.

I have quite enjoyed two competing factions of the MSM arguing with each other, both parties are the enemy of all decent people.

Now we have a situation where a pervert is painted as the victim because his media friends and hanger-on acolytes are all cock sucking liberal arseholes. 

You fit this bill perfectly with the utter dogshit you have written.

Er, no. Huw has been a bloody idiot by the sounds of it. But no more than many others who aren’t put in the stocks for it. 

Thanks for playing, though. 

On 11/07/2023 at 02:12, Wolfie said:

Well done The Sun for going with it, and with a little 'crack cocaine' twist.    

Are you sure? Lining up with The Sun is an interesting, not to say revealing, position to adopt. I’m sure you only buy it for the crossword.