Last Cunt Standing

Evening Cunts,

Here’s today’s thought experiment to get us all grinding our premolars:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42623021

The FA, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to import The Rooney Rule from the NFL, presumably in error, thinking it referred to everyone’s favourite spud-faced Scouse Grannyfucker and former England Captain. 

So now when inevitably Team England get humiliated in Russia by the mighty Lesotho or some such, and Gareth Southgate is told to fall on his sword (missing, obviously), we will be forced to endure weeks of faux outrage from the Daily Mail as the FA are now obliged to consider at least one non-white figure for the role of England Manager. Please let it be Trevor McDonald. Or Rustie Lee. Imagine that team talk. 

Now I personally don’t give a fuck if the next Manager is purple (and Barney The Dinosaur might be better at it than Woy Hodgson), but I think this dated affirmative action shite is a bit beyond the pale. How about “the best man for the job” as a short, punchy recruitment policy?

Lets say they do appoint an Ince or Barnes or fuck it, Kamara, how will these chaps handle the inevitable snide inference from the sporting press that they have Tokenism and the FA PR department to thank for their new job. A total poorly thought-through shit show and fucking awful US import. 

Football is no longer just for Irons, but for Steels, Bronzes and Brasses (though an alternate Rooney Rule does apply to the latter).

Fuck off. 

50 minutes ago, Albert Ross said:

Captain Root hospitalised due to dehydration. 

Dying of embarrassment more like. 

Hope he’s had some intravenous courage. 

10 hours ago, Eddie said:

Thanks Doc, I feel altogether better now.

Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say. See you next winter dear boy. 

On 01/01/2018 at 8:17 PM, Neil said:

Stick your fucking apricots and cranberries up your arse,ruin a perfect cheese by adding fucking fruit,cunts

I had a Peshwari Naan with my Madras earlier Neil.

Where do you stand on the bread sultana coconut combination?

7 minutes ago, Rick_B said:

Yes, but infidel in the world of ISIS means anyone who doesn't believe in their twisted idea of Caliphate as the goal of Islam. That includes Muslims  as much as anyone else - they believe that we should all die if we don't agree with and support their ideology.

Are you Melvyn Bragg? You’d be great on In Our Time. 

ISIS definitely need to send a team to the upcoming Winter Olympics. 

Anyone who hasn’t seen their curling team in action is missing a trick; no one can sweep frantically in front of a sliding severed infidel head like Neva Bin-Fucked or Hal Al-Butcha. 

And judging by that caged Jordanian pilot, they are also quite useful with a flaming torch. Hell of an opening ceremony, that would be. 

1 hour ago, Eddie said:

Your alter ego as a doc is about as believable as my dot com car parts billionaire persona. What are you doing here?

I find loitering round the Corner is a welcome boost to my self esteem, given that many of my fellow members seem to have missed a few millennia of evolution and seem content to post the equivalent of a few grunts and whistles. 

As for you, Edward, I imagine the only car part you are familiar with is the fucking Dunlop you swing from while eating a banana. Your avatar would seem to support this hypothesis. 

Go fuck yourself. 

1 hour ago, Ape said:

He has a medical condition called Verbosia Bolloxia, which drives him to write huge, multi-paragraph works of fiction. He can’t help himself.

Still bashing away with the head wand on your BBC Micro I see my Simian friend. One of these days you might just come up with an original thought. Now get back to shoving sweet corn up your Japs eye and chewing your macroglossal tongue gleefully every time you think of a three letter rhyme for Ape. 

Fuckwit. 

1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said:

He didn't have a public school education that's why.

How the fuck do you know the first thing about me, you septic old Witch?

News from the pink Test......

The place looks half fucking empty. Everyone at the beach. 

Is it too much to hope for that Steve Smith falls on his wicket and gets a stump straight up his hole? 

6 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Who got the goody bag crammed with dildoes and crystal meth then?

The receptionists usually have first dibs on this stuff, my lot are all post menopausal so had no use for the hundredweight of tampons donated by one rather odd punter. The Christmas Tree has never looked better, mind. 

1 hour ago, Manky said:

Ah,  next door then. Never heard, read or seen anything of interest in either place. Now the last jobs are going in Norwich?, will they all move to Oulton Broad or Beccles, waiting on Hoseasons holidaymakers for tips?

I imagine there’ll be a boom in Mustardmongers relocating to Cromer to catch crabs. Rough place is that. 

2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

Suffolk I believe.

Soham is in Cambridgeshire. 

4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

Colmans to close Norwich factory .. That's Norwich done for.

I can’t wait for Celebrity Norfuckers Delia Smith and Stephen Fry to weigh in on this, no doubt the biggest tragedy in East Anglia since the Soham Murders. 

I like whole grain mustard on my sandwich, not this yellow shit. 

15 hours ago, smileyouareoncandidcamera said:

Well I shall not be back to this site as the ribbing I got from all this is appalling. I thought this site was about sounding off etc, it seems to be just an excuse to abuse other members which is not cup of teas you can all go and fuck yourselves  

Bye then.

Should have tried harder at school, you Cunt. Then you employ cleaners, not worry about which mop to use. 

53 minutes ago, Ogri Trumpton - Bacon said:

Fuck me, I didn't know you were a high end consultant type cunt. What's your specialisation, Witchcraft or Voodoo?

Keep it quiet, but I’m actually qualified in veterinary medicine, but bunged the bloke at my graduation a score and he got me a GMC number. Easy street ever since....

People will do anything when they clock your white coat.

Stanley Milgram was a cunt.

16 minutes ago, Albert Ross said:

E 

 

Well, thanks for playing Bertie, but unsurprisingly for a total fuckwit, you have failed to solve the puzzle. “Cooler” was the answer. Now you fuck off back to your job in the retard bin and I’ll take Jenny Powell back to my dressing room with a crate of Cadbury’s fingers. 

I hate the Sydney test for many reasons. Usually because all hope is gone of a victory, the remnants of a shattered England side are usually no longer even entertaining unless they are Ronnie Irani, I’ve lost my taste for VB, blown my budget on seafood at Doyles, and have to give some thought to the impending ride home to winter in the English NHS. 

These days though, it’s this load of cock;

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-02/glenn-mcgrath-raising-the-bar-for-10th-pink-test-at-the-scg/9298990

I hate the sight of the Barmy Army having to be nice to that Arch Cunt McGrath for even one day. In fact I rather suspect she faked her own death to escape the cunt droning on about the day he took 8-41 against Northants during intercourse. 

Day three at the SCG is a day to spend on the beach. 

The Pink Test is something entirely different where I’m from.  

1 hour ago, Neil said:

I think it was around her 8th birthday

Let’s play Wheel of Fortune, Neil.

C**ler.

Care to buy a vowel?

7 minutes ago, Snatch said:

 

Don't knock it,it's what you suggested.

Fair point. 

1 hour ago, Ogri Trumpton - Bacon said:

There's no subliminal message LCS, it's just some cunt unloading their old shit, that they can't be arsed to toss down the tip. You fell for it. 

There's a way back. Stick a dildo up it's arse, paint it purple, piss all over it and give it back next year, this time gift wrapped in a fucked old Asda bag for life. I did something similar last time me old ma tried to foist some of her chipped crockery onto me, the cheeky old cunt. I smashed it all up, set the shards in a lump of concrete and named it "Abstract Armadillo". She got it for her birthday.

 

I intend to reanimate the stuffed Owl and train it to dish out antibiotics at random to every even numbered snotty child next year. Save me a job. 

1 hour ago, Couldn't give a shit said:

All hail Harold Shipman.

A visionary, gone too soon.

Just like his patients. 

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Get back to fundamentals by refusing treatment to drunks, fat cunts, and the gender-confused, and manage costs by not prescribing anything invented after 1950. It's what Nye Bevan would have wanted.

We are quite good at dishing out Azithromycin to middle aged men just back from Bangkok to visit their nieces, Baws. Presumably you’re in favour of that?

1 hour ago, Manky said:

Was this a party political broadcast by the Mong Party?

Cut winter fuel payments to nil. That should thin the poorly fuckers out.

Amen to that Manky. Round my way the middle class Boomers knock their 250 winter fuel allowance out on EasyJet flights to Tenerife, courtesy of the tax payer. A giant waste of time and money. 

30 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Come on LCS, I know the real reason why you're wound up. You got the shit Belgian chocs from the patient christmas gift lottery didn't you? I got crap as well; fucking box of maltesers and a chocolate orange. 

We got some real shit this year, gyps. Even the bottle of port was from fucking Asda. Austerity is at last biting rural England in the arse. 

I got a taxidermied Owl this year from one patient. Not sure what’s the message.