King Billy

That’s just Dudley apparently

They have to wait till 23.59 on the 28th to see if the frogs have surrendered and which side ze wops are on today

She could possibly be tied to the blades of her ‘husbands family’s windmill and have all the village youths throw their clogs at her. First one to knock her head into the bin wins a big bunch of tulips

Wiltshire constabulary have just stopped a Lada near the cathedral containing Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell, Ken Livingstone and Diane Abbot naked in the boot. Mr Corbyn has been cautioned for possession of out of date elbow patches on his corduroy sports jacket and a further charge of associating with fuckwits

Nostrovia comrade!!

Could be a secret signal to a Russian sleeper cell

Anyone for Novichok?

Marco Fu (again) Where’s me cue? Len Ganley- fishy fanny John Parrot - Scouse faggot Alan McManus- dirty scotch anus

Graham Dott - fuckin good shot Rory McLeod - get the fuck out Crucible theatre - see ya later

Marco Fu - have a big jimmy Judd Trump - Where’s my breast pump Stuart Bingham - somebody ring him Barry Hearn - anal ringworm

Mark Williams - Oh matron! John Higgins - Ivor Biggun Steven Hendry - long and bendy

Michaela Tabbs - genital crabs Tony Drago - anal impetigo

The pork sword

Syrup of figs - Multiple Miggs

Can I have some more pleeease?

I heard Jimmys dad only talked in the old Cockney rhyming slang and when he first saw baby jimmy he is said to have shouted “Fuckin hell luv you’ve done a Jimmy White in the bed

He’s on a winning streak then. You can’t keep a good nazi down

Nah

Yeah

Gissa kiss you fuckin big massive homo cunt

Tara fuckhead

Be careful your wife’s head might be in the way

With punkape sniffing the saddles

Gemma Collins’s choreographer

Die hard with a cosh negro