King Billy

2 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Rat Junior once asked me why I'd hissed "I told you never to ring me at home !" down the phone to a caller.

Kid's ears were more sensitive than a fuckin Cold War sonar buoy 

Guess you had to be there

When I first saw this my first thought was “Let me know when there’s a few more” and then my next thought was “Fuck it”

1 minute ago, scotty said:

My five year old boy saw a poster for the Vagina Monologues and asked me that dreaded question. 

"Daddy, what's a monologue?" 

Daddy, why has mummy got a bigger cock than you?

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Unless it's inside a big microwave or a bark stripper, I don't want to.

on a related note, has anyone noticed that Michael Gove looks exactly like Pob the Puppet?

From behind with a fist up his arse

Anna Soubry and all these other cunts. Always wearing scarves around their turkey necks. Adam! Have you seen my apple anywhere?

Has anyone ever seen Shamima Begum and Alan Carr together?

That Heidi Allen Marks out of ten I’d definitely give her one. Phwaarr.

1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said:

A genuinely funny bastard. There must be loads of his stuff that doesn't get shown. Probably too un-PC. 

Young Frankenstein 

1 minute ago, The Bishop said:

I need to rest now.

G’night Jon boy

52 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

The attempt to set up the Islamic State on part of the ancient sovereign state of Syria is the most perfect justification of the setting up the modern State of Israel, using the land of the sovereign state of Palestine .. this something that needs to be explained by the advocates of ISIS.

This is something?

14 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

If you read what I have posed you will see that I am asking the same question .. why does she not want to return to the ;and of her recent ancestors? But it would also be good fr her to be asked to explain why she joined an organisation that attempted to annex part of the very ancient state of Syria.

Good for her?

5 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

The problem is that a lot of people .. including people of none-islamic origin .. cannot do that, hence the worrying number of young and not so young West Europeans converting to Islam.

Is that non Islamic ?

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Are you Susie Dent?

Not rhyming slang

2 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

they've.

Are you Susie Dent?

8 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

Correct spelling in context.

Depends which century you currently inhabit

On 10/02/2019 at 14:35, Crab said:

PRESS RELEASE #3

I President Juan have been personally welcomed into the gang of fresh faced good looking cunts playing at politics by Canada's leading man as reported below in the South Wales Argus. 

"Justin Trudeau has personally offered his support to Venezuela’s Juan Guaido ahead of a Lima Group meeting in Ottawa on the country’s political crisis. "

I wouldn't swap dear little Justin for all the Putins in the world. (Yes I would but he is on the side of my beast) 

Meanwhile my fellow Venezuelans keep crawling to the Colombian border for my food parcels and fists up everyone! Eh, I don't mean that. 

 

 

 

Fuck me theyve got an Argos in Wales now. Wow

On 10/02/2019 at 14:35, Crab said:

PRESS RELEASE #3

I President Juan have been personally welcomed into the gang of fresh faced good looking cunts playing at politics by Canada's leading man as reported below in the South Wales Argus. 

"Justin Trudeau has personally offered his support to Venezuela’s Juan Guaido ahead of a Lima Group meeting in Ottawa on the country’s political crisis. "

I wouldn't swap dear little Justin for all the Putins in the world. (Yes I would but he is on the side of my beast) 

Meanwhile my fellow Venezuelans keep crawling to the Colombian border for my food parcels and fists up everyone! Eh, I don't mean that. 

 

 

 

Dear Juan  If you need any snow rest assured you can have as much as you want at a very favourable price. Always your amigo  Justin baby

1 minute ago, The Bishop said:

shewing

???

19 minutes ago, cooze said:

When I read the title I thought they'd had a miscount in Westminster.

There ain’t even that many cunts on this corner

Just been flicking through this months copy of AK magazine. On page 47 they’ve  done a great feature of Shamima Begum showing everyone around her magnificent new council home. The bin don’t look right to me though.

23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We've all been naive and stupid teenagers, but 4 years of living alongside murder, rape, hatred and casually dumping a couple of dead babies in the bin with the infidels heads, is hardly something that can be put down to youthful folly.

Fuckin hell! Sorry mate I didn’t know you’d been through all that too. Still, chin up, your gonna get one hell of a council gaff out of it.

10 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

This is an arbitrary decision by Mr Javid. I still think that if she got home then she should have faced the weight of the legal process. I don’t like precedents, they have a habit of biting everyone on the arse.

That explains the limp

20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Anna fucking Soubry, eh? I bet Chuka will struggle somewhat to look pleased about that!

Khasim Kharum has written from jail to ask if he can join. He said he feels let down by the Co-op who have withdrawn his loyalty card without giving a reason

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

Marty Feldman turned his ones, inside out &  back to front. 

   Excuse me sir. Have you taken any illegal substances while driving tonight?

16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

True. Gone is the time when a British woman could rely on her rapist being a salt of the earth, born and bred son of Albion. In the good old days, it was a Sheffield steel knife held at her throat, not a durka. Risk of an HIV infection? They had none of that foreign shit in Merrie Older Englande. It was syphilis and if that was good enough for Henry VIII it was good enough for some stupid cunt walking her dog in the park at midnight.

Absolutely true sir, and to absolutely kill off any last remaining vestige  of our once great and world leading place in the sex crime industry these disrespectful foreigners are even importing their own victims now, thereby dispatching us to the annals of history. As my first probation officer once wisely confided to me “One day you’re the dog, next day your the lamp post” as he plunged his hand down the front of my trousers