King Billy

2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You just wait till JC is standing outside number 10, fist clench salute, corduroy Lenin cap at a jaunty angle to the strains of 'The Red Flag'. You'll be the first up against the wall, comrade Billy. 

Off to the gulag for me then. Doh

2 minutes ago, scotty said:

Quite. People have short memories, our brief flirtation with the euro did us a great deal of damage, but we'd been told by the pro-europeans that we'd be fucked if we failed to join it. In fact, our economic woes started to ease the moment we left the ERM and allowed sterling to reset at it's proper level. 

Yeah but if only we’d listened to the clever cunts Clarke, Clegg, Cable, Blair, Ashdown, etc etc etc, and joined the magic Euro we could’ve been all living the dream now like them lucky Greeks and Spanish and Italians and Portuguese. When will we ever learn eh?

1 hour ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

Why, is Britain going to suddenly become some radioactive wasteland where people need to use a gas mask to go to the local shop?

That’s just Dudley apparently 

On 16/02/2019 at 02:29, Monumental cunt said:

Dear Mr Junkers diver bomber cunt

We have had a look at your fucking shite attempt of putting forward a tough deal.  Funny how you think you have to make Brexit a stern example to any other EU country.  I thought everyone was perfectly happy under ze German jackboot. Why should you need such a strict badly thought out tough policy if all other states are fucking ecstatic at being in the EU shit zone.  Funny that.

Anyway we put it to the people and errrrr they are more fucking switched on than we thought.  Despite some fucking blind cunts voting to remain in the non democratic, totalitarian, fascist dictatorship.  The vast majority in a turn out not seen before on such a scale, voted fuck off.

So we had a bit of a chat and looked at your fucking ridiculous offer and this time the House of Commons actually grew a pair of bollocks and said, fuck off.

I know I popped over and tried to tell you that your fucking ridiculous terms were not going to get voted through.  However, with March 29th approaching fast I think we are going to do one of two things.....

1).  Sit and watch the German ministers march into your Belgium office, they have a history of doing that, and demanding you sort your shit out at the 11th hour.   It was always going to need ze German car manufacturers to put the biggest corporate pressure on you wine drinking lazy long dinner cunts in the EU.  You quickly send over an email at 11.59pm on the 28th saying sorry and that we can have anything we want so long as those Nazi cunts can flog their cars to the UK for 20% more than in the USA.

2). Alternatively we wait until 1 minute past midnight and have exactly the same conversation.  You look cunts either way.

over to you big boy.

yours

Rt Hon Porn Star Teresa May 

They have to wait till 23.59 on the 28th to see if the frogs have surrendered and which side ze wops are on today

1 hour ago, cuntspotter said:

Being of Asian origin and Moslem , this young woman is already batting on a losing wicket as far as the majority of commentators here are concerned. If what the papers say is true, and that is always a big if, that her parents have radicalised her in the first place, that places her even deeper in the shit. So, what I am about to say will not be popular. She may well be an unpleasant young woman with views that we find objectionable , indeed unacceptable. But, she is a British citizen... she is one of ours. If she gets home she needs to be investigated...a decision needs to be made about her stability, suitability as a parent and the milieu in which the child might be raised after all , she has presided over the sad and needless deaths of her first two infants.. She may keep the child, but she might not. Her husband won’t come here...he is wanted for terrorism offences in Holland...indeed she may be guilty of offences herself. Whatever, she should come home with that child and face the music........ is she a cunt?  Absolutely.

She could possibly be tied to the blades of her ‘husbands family’s windmill and have all the village youths throw their clogs at her. First one to knock her head into the bin wins a big bunch of tulips

9 minutes ago, Crab said:

I am wearing my Corduroy Corbyn Cap.... and nothing else! With Russian flag hiding my modesty - obviously like the one in Salisbury it's massive. Eh titter ye not! Wasn't the choir section of Sally Cathedral Edward Heath's favourite spot to come and unwind? 

Wiltshire constabulary have just stopped a Lada near the cathedral containing Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell, Ken Livingstone and Diane Abbot naked in the boot. Mr Corbyn has been cautioned for possession of out of date elbow patches on his corduroy sports jacket and a further charge of associating with fuckwits

7 minutes ago, Crab said:

Shaken but not stirred. With a twist of that lemon Gavin. 

Nostrovia comrade!!

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

The Dean of the Cathedral has had a serious sense of humour failure...

lol.

Could be a secret signal to a Russian sleeper cell

3 hours ago, Crab said:

10 out of 10 for fucking cheek. 

https://www.spirefm.co.uk/news/local-news/2808127/huge-russian-flag-unfurled-at-salisbury-cathedral/

 

Anyone for Novichok?

34 minutes ago, Khiwa said:

Stuart Bingham - Don't fax em, ring um!

Ali Carter - serial farter

Mark Allen - not jockey Keiron Fallon

Jan Verhaas - "No! It's not Dutch for yes you can have my ass! (Cunt)!"

Ted Lowe - Alfie Bowe (tit)

Marco Fu (again) Where’s me cue? Len Ganley- fishy fanny                   John Parrot - Scouse faggot        Alan McManus- dirty scotch anus

Graham Dott - fuckin good shot     Rory McLeod -  get the fuck out     Crucible theatre - see ya later

14 minutes ago, Khiwa said:

Steve Davis - call me Mavis

Cliff Thorburn - watch a whore earn

James Wattana - where's me banana

Marco Fu -  have a big jimmy          Judd Trump - Where’s my breast pump         Stuart Bingham - somebody ring him       Barry Hearn - anal ringworm

7 minutes ago, Khiwa said:

Willie Thorne - massive horn

Ding - microwave gone ping

Terry Griffiths - do you know where my spliff is?

Mark Williams - Oh matron!                  John Higgins -  Ivor Biggun         Steven Hendry - long and bendy

29 minutes ago, Khiwa said:

Visible panty liner - Michaela Tabb's vagina

Michaela Tabbs - genital crabs          Tony Drago - anal impetigo

1 hour ago, Crab said:

That'your opinion. The fact is she should face justice, however rough and ready or non existant in our opinions, in the place she was an active collaborator with ISIS. She lived by the sword... 

The pork sword

2 minutes ago, Khiwa said:

Apples & Pears - polyester hairs

Syrup of figs - Multiple Miggs

23 minutes ago, Crab said:

Lord Carlisle was a Thatcherite bum boy award winner. You see these poor people they want to help won't be squeezing them for space or taking up places in Oxbrudge or their alma mater private schools. He won't be standing next to one of them at the Village Post Office in his Cotswald country home. Or in Sloane Square when he resides in his Cadigan Mansions apartment. You see he talks the talk. The poor and under pressure people he looks down on here will walk the walk for him. He should be boiled down into gruel and fed to ISIS Brides in Syrian detention camps. 

Can I have some more pleeease?

3 hours ago, Khiwa said:

Jimmy White's a bigger cunt for not even winning it once, especially with the lack of quality opposition back in his heyday. And his wig needs hoovering.

I heard Jimmys dad only talked in the old Cockney rhyming slang and when he first saw baby jimmy he is  said to have shouted “Fuckin hell luv you’ve done a Jimmy White in the bed

2 hours ago, ratcum said:

There was a story about a "Hiker takes on a mountain lion and wins" except I read it at as

"Hitler takes on mountain lion, and wins"

get in Adolf!

He’s on a winning streak then. You can’t keep a good nazi down

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There are 2 possible answers to that question..

..the correct one has 3 letters.

Nah 

1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

REPORTED!

Are you really that thick?  

Yeah 

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Be careful your wife’s head might be in the way

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 I'm going to hurt you. In your privates.

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Bingo!

reported.

Gissa kiss you fuckin big massive homo cunt

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Bye dickhead. ♿️🚾

Tara fuckhead

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

 I'm going to hurt you. In your privates.

Be careful your wife’s head might be in the way

1 hour ago, Crab said:

I am proposing a statue of Jimmy Savile in Leeds - a cunt who developed under Thatcher's protection. Let's not forget a statue to Norman Tebbit outside the old Raleigh bicycle factory in Nottingham. 

With punkape sniffing the saddles