Major Cunt
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Posts posted by Major Cunt
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36 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:
‘White Ace’ and ‘fuck’s.’ Otherwise, quite correct, Major.
I stand corrected, DC. Thanks for pointing out my tardiness and i'll award a like once replenished.
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On 16/05/2022 at 21:09, Roadkill said:
Well it seems that all this hype about Finland and Sweden joining NATO has come to an embarrassing halt rather quickly, with Turkey declaring they intend to veto the vote because of the Nordic countries harbouring what they see as terrorist organisations.
So on one side you've got big dick America pushing the entire thing like it's already a done deal and on the other you've got tight legged Turkey, who could easily just open the Black Sea to the Russian navy if they don't get what they want - which currently seems to be making Finland and Sweden suck their cock before letting them into the club.
Am I the only cunt slightly worried that these clumsy, squabbling fuckers are somehow supposed to coordinate the movement and actions of the largest collective military alliance on the planet in the event of a single nation within its domain being invaded? I can only imagine Poland is regretting all of their Billy Big Bollocks tough talk towards Russia at this point, because it seems that if the Ruskies do decide to visit, all of their NATO mates are going to be distracted arguing about who's invited to their fucking birthday party and what flavour the icing on the cake should be.
Bunch of fucking divs.
When i heard that the Captain Kirks* were going to be permitted Nato membership i was more than slightly concerned. It's not only a muslin nation but also a country that's had it's fair share of coups, one was only thwarted a few years ago. The head of that particular coup was the former general in charge of their special forces who has turned perpetually facing Mecca. He now runs a mercenary outfit that fights exclusively for fellow goatshagger nations.
Now we are giving them all the latest toys which they are no doubt busy reverse engineering. So if there's a successfull coup by the Mullah's then their armed to the fucking teeth and will probably end up having the jihadists trained by special forces. The only upside to this would be Jewdith's brethren shitting bricks.
Only half the country is in Europe for fucks sake. Personally, i would have been happier if Libya under the stewardship of Colonel Gaddafi had been offered membership, he made extremists disappear without a trace along with Saddam.
*Turks
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4 hours ago, Decimus said:
Why were you kicked off The Force?
Answer the fucking question.
Continuing surveillance of the areas swimming pools despite being reprimanded on several previous occasions, and cruising known homo spots in his patrol car...
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27 minutes ago, ProfB said:
What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime?
My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum.
Not my kinda gig, Prof. It had to involve the lure of a big payday once upon a time and being young and reckless. At the time i personally didn't see it as a big deal but a judge thought differently.
How peachy is Kazza's arse and is she a size 12 or slimmer?
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On 08/05/2022 at 16:18, nocti said:
You could see this coming a mile away; which is about the distance this cunt would have to walk for a drink of water if he wasn't so busy being oppressed over here.
Perhaps he can go back in time and help his brethren actually achieve something of note, other than "perfecting" the recipe for peanut butter.
You should pop in more often, Nocti. For some reason i picture you sounding like Gene Hunt from 'Ashes To Ashes'.
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10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:
Parade was another good one. It had English slags that looked like the birds who lived in your street. And it had a Union Jack on the front cover.
Readers Wives too. This new generation have no idea about the lengths we had to go to for porn pre internet.
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5 minutes ago, Eddie said:
Twice.
I was just thinking that, Ed.
Obviously i won't be reporting you as it ain't my style, but for your sake i'd alter that post before the missis locks you up!
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3 minutes ago, Eddie said:
I’m surprised you was allowed those sort of magazines on your wing…
beast.
You folded like napkin when Fender stuck it on you. 🤣🤣🤣
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1 minute ago, Eddie said:
I’m surprised you was allowed those sort of magazines on your wing…
beast.
Fuck off, you spearchucker, and get me a few spark plugs whilst you're at it!
Cunt!
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2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:
Shithouse shin pad:
a rolled up copy of Razzle, stuffed down the front of a sock during a visit to the lavatory for a sneaky 'hand shandy'.
I fucking loved Razzle and Escort. They featured birds you were likely to see on an estate somewhere. When i was away you used to be able to put pages from the above glued with toothpaste before the pc brigade banned it.
Some geezer who happened to be residing in the same establishment took some serious banter when somebody spotted his ex bird...
And before you get a semi Jew-boy i never saw any bum banditry.
Fucking funny, Eric!
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49 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:
"Ere look. Bargain booze, 4 spirits for thirty quid... I've even heard of one of 'em."
I saw a bloke on an escalator with a copy of Viz under his arm and i was tempted to ask for a butchers.
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45 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:
"Ere look. Bargain booze, 4 spirits for thirty quid... I've even heard of one of 'em."
The chairman of Bargain Booze is prepared to pay for Drew's liver transplant. If he snuffs it they might go the way of Woolworths!
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14 hours ago, judgetwi said:
Sorry brightboy but how can you question my “role” that you and your bumchums invented yourselves? That doesn’t make any logical sense.
Incidentally I’d prefer it if you spelt “English” with a capital E.A small thing to someone of your pisspoor education no doubt but it means something to me.
Dimmo.
Jesus wept. Pulling the grammar card is always a sign of a man on the ropes. I'd be here till next week if i was to pull you up on the grammatical mistakes of the late night White Ace fuelled tirades. I also hold qualifications that you could never achieve in a lifetime.
Have a word with your rabbi for fucks sake!
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14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:
Great comeback.
The man's a south of the river Mickey Flanagan, a true comedy genius but incapable of doing the cockney walk for obvious reasons.
Double busy cunt!
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35 minutes ago, King Billy said:
The Pooseta used to be the currency of choice in the gay bars of Spain, I’ve heard. I’ve got no evidence to back it up obviously.
I'm sure Frank can clarify this matter and also has also chosen to ''back it up'' whilst there.
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20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:
Leonard Nimoy was fucking awful in that. The 50s one was much better.
Eric, old Jewdy seems to be responsible for my best material. I only wish we had a couple more opinionated, Jewish, wide-boys but a muslin of the same calibre would work.
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22 hours ago, ProfB said:
Mrs T is now at St Peter's Hill Grantham - in between Sir Isaac Newt & Fredders Tollemache
& some tosspot pelted eggs - bring back hanging.
The only thing he should be hung for is not taking a Still saw with a diamond tipped blade and cutting her off the plinth. That utter cunt Thatcher is responsible for selling our North sea oil (we could have been self sufficient or rich like Norway), privatisation of anything possible, crushing most unions, and having Jimmy fucking Savile regularly visit Chequers. I'm sure there's many more acts of cuntishness like possibly taking up trap two from Reagan ect, but I think i've made my point...
Eggs? What a wanker!
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19 hours ago, judgetwi said:
Equally interesting that you’ve mentioned Tooting Bec Lido. Like your arsehole it’s very much open and a well known rendezvous for promiscuous homosexuals. However I hear it’s a very young crowd that gets down there and I would hate to see you suffer the humiliation of rejection simply due to your advancing age. I mean, you’re not exactly Tom Daly these days are you Marjorie? This is all hearsay of course so take no notice of me.
However, it’s not like the Parkhurst days. There’s no sex starved blokes desperate to ram your arse anymore, especially as it now resembles the entrance to the Mont Blanc tunnel.No thanks required for my invaluable advice. Good luck Marje.
😁
Not a bad retort, Jewdith. I had absolutely no idea that Tooting Bec lido was a notorious site for turd burglars and thanks for the heads up, obviously i'll be staying well clear. You do seem to have an encyclopaedic knowledge regarding all thing's pink and pool related. I'm guessing you have to make sure the scooters fully charged for the journey along with a tube of KY Jelly.
It must be a fucking nightmare for the life guards getting you in the pool given your morbid obesity.
I've heard of the pink pound but is there an equivalent shekel?
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On 14/05/2022 at 17:05, Eric Cuntman said:
Raffles The Gentleman Thug.
He's working on a film script for Guy Richie. Apparently Jewdy's been giving it the Barry Mcguigan aka bigun!
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On 12/05/2022 at 23:26, judgetwi said:
The only pool you’ve sat next to is a pool of your own bullshit.
“I’m richer than yo’ “ as a way of shutting cunts up on the internet has been done to death wanker. The fact that you still scramble around trying to pull that one off shows what a knobend you are.Fucking tosser.
Interesting that you've mentioned the word ''pool'' in your opening sentence. The weather is starting to warm up and maybe you can take the scooter down Tooting Bec lido if it's still open. Don't forget your arm bands and speedos!
Not need to thank me obviously.
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6 hours ago, Decimus said:
I think he's probably got a lot of enemies and should lose a dozen or so chins in order to watch his back more vigilantly.
The cunt is by his own admission a former pig, a devout Kike, a Peeping Tom and an inveterate alcoholic. If a former con doesn't end up shivving him, a Pakistani corner shop owner or a furious parent will.
Indeed. I do question the ex cozzer role though. He seems to be completely clueless in regards to the english penal system. You would have thought that any run of the mill pc would have a working knowledge, but he's quite vocal about Scotland Yard.
There's absolutely no way he made detective if Frank could lure him to a fake taverna.
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On 09/04/2022 at 09:45, Decimus said:
Thank you for the history lesson, I'm sure that the tens of thousands of "guests" who died there would agree with your distinction. Jolly old Belsen, the Disneyland of the Nazi regime.
As for the train incident, you've obviously conveniently forgotten that, just like you have forgotten saying that you're ex-Old Bill, that you once ran to be an MP and that you're a penny-pinching, hook-nosed fucking Jew.
Surely he had to be running for the spot that covers Golders Green or possibly Stamford Hill. The only other explanation is that he was pulling a Tommy Robinson and hiding his jewish heritage, running (no pun intended) as a BNP candidate which probably wouldn't have made him to popular on his Brixton estate, but then again they're not too fond of old bill either.
What's your take on it?
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The Judge has got all the credentials to land a deputy commissioner role at Jimmy Savile House. Paralysed, bent, jewish and with a penchant for Arabs. The chronic alcoholism might be an issue but then again look at what used to happen on Top Of The Pops.
Now then, now then...
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On 05/05/2022 at 19:46, King Billy said:
Your cock has a bigger dark side than the moon.
Fuck off.If Pen was to get a stiffie upon a peak of the Andes mountain range it would cause a partial solar eclipse...
The BBC
in The Corner
Posted
I hear ya, Eric. If this cunts keeps bumping his gums and giving it the Barry Mcguigian then you should open him up like a fucking village Fete, double lively!