Major Cunt

Or perverting the intercourse of justice as the case may be.

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

It’s all too fuckin complicated nowadays. Years ago, when it was just a minor “slap on the wrist” offence called ‘Heavy Pressure’ nobody even gave it a second thought. But now all you hear is       “Oh so  and so got raped “ Gets a bit like “Whatever, Nice day isn’t it?”

Also what about these geezers who get accused of it and then suffer the indignity of a trial. Only to be found not guilty but forever tainted by the implication they might have done it. Over the years I've read in the papers of chaps exonerated after false claims, but very rarely is there a prosecution of perverting the course of justice (no pun intended) for lying.

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

And another thing I’ve noticed about these so called ‘victims’. They’re all fucking miserable, sour faced whinging cunts. Not once have I seen one on crimewatch smiling or showing any sign of a sense of humour whatsoever. I don’t know but it may be a factor in  the predicament which they seem to find themselves in on a regular basis. Just a thought.

Haha what the fuck happened with your intention to tread lightly on today's nom's, you been drinking Special Brew with Judge tonight. Though it's a valid point?

3 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Too much to remember after a few babychams. But to quote the great man himself “Two out of three ain’t bad”. 

Its a real fucking minefield these days the question is which two do you choose. Having the written consent and being legally covered, at the risk of trying to slip Bruce Jenner a length. Or open to prosecution with definitive minge confirmation! 

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

More accurately, the World Book of Guinness Records.

Quick question Baws have you ever been tested for Asperger's???

21 minutes ago, Neil said:

Apparently some Scottish football cunt has died as a result from heading a football.He was 83 for fucking fuck sake!.I wonder if the cunt was helped along the way by fat clogged arteries as a result of eating deep fried Mars bars.Fuck all to do with the fucking lagers he used to knock back daily like most of the other feckless ginger cunts.Eighty fucking three!!.I hope I die as a result of over excessive wanking at the age of 83,that or blindness.

Fuck off

Fuck me he had a good innings for a sweaty, I'm pretty sure I read they have the lowest life expectancy in Europe. Probably dedicated a page to the cunt in the Guinness book of world records.

46 minutes ago, King Billy said:

You outta the cooler too? I still don’t really get why I was banged up but hey ho. The Roopsinater sometimes works in mysterious ways. I’m gonna tread carefully on some of these noms tonight, 

Sensible advice there I'll be attempting to proceed with caution.

38 minutes ago, King Billy said:

You outta the cooler too? I still don’t really get why I was banged up but hey ho. The Roopsinater sometimes works in mysterious ways. I’m gonna tread carefully on some of these noms tonight, 

Yeah got booted of for the weekend, too be fair Roops did give me a warning beforehand, I then proceeded with sarcasm which didn't go down to well. Being unfamiliar with the Corner and it's etiquette, along with being told to drink bleach within 5 mins of posting., I presumed it was open season, you live and you learn hey I was surprised  you got booted as well though Bill.

Just now, Witheredscrote said:

WEAK you semi- illiterate cunt.   

AHH pulling somebody up on a typo the stock reply when a cunts baffled.

1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said:

Who the fuck are you?  You come on this site throwing bollocks about, like castration day at a PDSA Clinique. 

That retort was as week as both your chin and sphincter, I suggest abseiling of a pylon.

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Harsh, but under the circumstances incredibly fair.

He does Decs and also made me laugh!

You seem to be the resident expert in these matters with a valid point. No doubt fine tuned by spending summer's in French port city's performing fellatio on the baguettes of Arab sailor's. Your partner in crime informs me your sphincter is never smaller than a two pound coin, and resembles a jammy Dodger in appearance!

6 minutes ago, Neil said:

I assume that as my missus has never really wanted me to fuck her since we started dating that I've technically been raping her for 40 years.

Are you still giving her a Rohypnol chaser pre coitus.

On 28/04/2019 at 08:04, kuntrybumkin said:

the thing is this, it's actually more of a condescending, patronising belittling term often used to make the less informed and or, uneducated among us know their place.

It seems like you took certain comments as a personal attack/inference, that you share a hobby with a 1980's TV celebrity. Who was fond of cigar smoking, tracksuits and philanthropy, why on earth you would draw this conclusion, I don't know? Developing either a thicker skin or a sense of humour could remedy this!

On 27/04/2019 at 00:10, judgetwi said:

 

 

Fuck me! Even the Denmark Hill Pikey would be embarrassed by this pile of old dogshit.

You been on the Special Brew again, Judith? 

On 26/04/2019 at 23:50, DrCunt said:

Enjoy your short sojourn in the cooler. Given the miscreants in there, you might need some ice for your bumhole when you get out.

Sounds like solid advice to me Doc. I've heard certain lifers can lock pick a male chastity belt in under 3 seconds. Also, while I'm here is there any chance of a Diazepam prescription? Ta.

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide.

Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" 

Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did.

Fuck off.

Lololol

 

 

Are you quite sure that was your normal brand? Sounds suspiciously stronger than your usual Moroccan Woodbines. 

8 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Freedom of ‘movements’ has been an ongoing problem for Pen. Shitting his trousers, at first a topic of great amusement has now become a big problem, not only for  Pen but for everyone who unfortunately  find themselves within a 1/2 mile proximity of his leaky Ringpiece. Mummification might be the solution but unfortunately ‘It’s’ not dead enough yet. Clothes peg anyone?

Sadly that's what happens when you insist on keeping jumbo butt plugs inserted longer than medically advised.

28 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I agree. The 70s were fucking brilliant. If I could have a bronze/brown velour settee without looking a cunt, I would have one. But I can't, so I won't.

Why don't they ever repeat 'Budgie'.

You would have to get an obligatory polyester whistle and kipper tie to match though, then you would look a cunt.

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

Milky white?

Funnily enough Bill it was.

I visited a classic greasy spoon the other week with a mate of mine, it was nothing to write home about but I was satisfied with my afternoon breakfast. I happened to glance out the window mid way through and then spotted the name of this establishment ,"Top Nosh" it was called. Now if I was back home it would be a candid name for a brass house, but this saying has different connotations in the south west, sadly I only got a coffee as an extra.

13 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Please do not make accusations or otherwise infer, imply or indirectly suggest paedophilia against any punter.

It was mild inference however I take your point, does this also cover PunkApe though? Where such a statement no doubt has some factual basis

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'll just pencil you in as a maybe.

I didn't see a no, I think you might get a nosh out of it.

The main problem with this terrorist atrocity from my point, has been the reporting of it in on the British Buggery Corporation, and other assorted meejah services. Its been billed as an Easter worshipper massacre on you guessed it Easter worshippers. Why the fuck not say that Christians were killed during a church service, oh that's right we can't mention that, incase we offend some cunt. Now I don't own a pair of Jesus creeper's or sing in a choir, (Cliff Richard is a cunt too, can't say what I'd like to due to a reprimand from Roopa earlier) However last time I checked this was meant to be a Christian country so why not mention this more often. I believe in the 70's despite looking like extras from the bay city rollers, the Paddy terrorists were far more successful than these ISIS cunts, a poor consolation but true.

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Don't listen to the nurses. They're trying to stop you from discovering that booze makes drugs work better, especially morphine, diazepam and amitriptyline.

I concur Eric after a back injury I was handed a prescription for diazepam, that evening I consulted Dr Jack Daniels for a second opinion, I was very happy but Mrs Major wasn't!