Major Cunt

43 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Lunching at Sainsbury's eh? My oh my how well you live it up, you lucky privileged snob. Next you'll be bragging that this is not any old food, this is M & S food, and your outings will extend to a stroll on the downs or an afternoon of skipping with a butterfly net full of moth balls. I'd wager that you go frogging and have your very own camouflaged hide, albeit it when your not train spotting or fine-dining at Waitrose. You pitiful pleb. 

I was actually gonna go down the lunching at Sainsbury's route, but you beat me to it Eavens. I reckon that butterfly pic is a standard Google image. Placed as cover for the real intent of that trip to the meadow(dogging spot). That being to receive a length the bigger the better, from a bloke in a dodgy Hawaiian shirt and shorts. That have been tailored, the fly being replaced with a velcro closure, am I close Guard?

21 hours ago, The Guard said:

@ape  .. Nurse is putting me to bed shortly, do you need anything before I go?

Hopefully she/he administers a strong sedative, followed by a pillow smothering your airway's. On second thought fuck the sedative.

37 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

No, Eddie's not an Irish terrorist. He's a black bastard.

you're probably not that much younger than me. I left school in 1988, Lennie Lawrence was managing Charlton, and we were based at the abhorrent Selhurst Park. Curbishley took over 3 years later. I didn't keep in touch much after I moved away, but I imagine that all the BM/NF thing fizzled out in the 90s. There was a martial arts weapons shop in Welling High Street that was owned by one of the neo-Nazi crowd.

Larks and giggles 😜

Haha brilliant I remember that shop. I purchased a pair of nunchucks from there many moon's ago. I still have family in the area but rarely go back, it's fucking abysmal round that manor now. Half of the African continent have decided to settle there! What happened to the nineties mate😁

12 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The woodman, Blackfen.

you know where I mean you tricky cunt. Eddie's from round there too.

Eric I only know of the BM, I'm a little to young to be claiming membership. When I left school Alan Curbishley was still managing Charlton. This Eddie you speak of he's not Eddie Whicker is he 😁

11 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You're obviously an ugly  hairy cunt. 

Touche Gyper's hopefully the Easter Bunny brings you a rampant rabbit!

You never know mate!

2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I would like to meet the cunt in a dark isolated back alley with some abandoned skip bins and an axe handle, who suddenly decided it was a punishable crime to give fit birds an adoring whistle or in one's own charming way, a verbal compliment....I'd like to draw and quarter the cunt who began teaching them cage fighting skills.  

Amen Wizzy Amen!

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I do look forward to your infrequent visits Cap. Gives the place a touch of class.

With regards to your Diane Abbott and David Lammy tag boxing match, against the Klitschko's it's a great idea. However when time travel is sorted, I suggest sending them back to Welling and Eltham circa 1997. Carrying advertising boards with anti white slogans, like that scene in Die Hard 3 in reverse. Having to get from one to the other!

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's the trouble. The women have changed now as well. If you are a real bloke, they view you as some kind of dangerous Neanderthal and are 'fwightened'.

Men must either be faggots, or submissive little wimps who are physically inferior to their girlfriends or wives and do as they're told. Look at men in adverts. Holding a baby and hoovering, while their women  snap their fingers and make all the decisions. 

I hear you loud and clear on that Eric. Sadly times have changed however and it seems most blokes were not informed. A prime example happened today popped into the city centre with a mate. ( yes I do have some, and I'm not schizophrenic) Being the hottest day of the year we were enjoying the lord's handy work, in scantily clad woman. Observing the standard operating procedure of not making to obvious. In years gone by the worst you would have got in return was a disgruntled look. Now however in this day and age, those looks are akin to some form of visual hairy ape!

2 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I think this LBGT shit is great. Sooner or later all the blokes will have turned into women or bummers, and I'll get to fuck all the wimmin. But not the ones that used to be men, or the butch lezzers, obviously. Or Gyps.

 

Be careful what you wish for son. Or you might end up balls deep, in a cut and shut. Though I appreciate the sentiment!

5 minutes ago, The Guard said:

Withers can't hold anything down.

Gyper's maybe the Guard could lend you his copy of Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill W. Due to his cataracts he's now purchased the audiobook.

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Not only has this populist influenced sheep adopted two black male children, how fucking right on of her, but she is now raising the two boys as girls. They are 7 and 3.

she was photographed taking them both to a kids party, dressed in pink tutus for fucks sake. 

A 7 or a 3 year old does not have a sense of sexuality or gender, yet she claims that they are girls because they've said that they are. The stupidity of this cunt is astounding. When I was 5, I spent a year claiming to be the Bionic Man, my mum, however didn't take it too seriously, didn't strip out my veins and arteries and replace them with wires. Eventually I stopped thinking I was the bionic man and started doing other things like making bows and arrows and annoying the neighbours.

Another stupid bitch who is perverting innocent children so that she can bask in the adulation of the LGBTXYZ community and read thousands of twitter messages telling her how beautiful and AMAAAAAY-ZING! and open minded she is.

I would have fucked her once. She can fuck right off now. I'd rather suck Jennifer Lawrence's cunt dry anyway.

Jaysus Christ Eric she has been a busy little Boer hasn't she. I had no idea she had steeped to such depths of cuntishness. On first reading this nom, I thought that's a quality bit of minge there I definitely would, what's all the fuss about. Apart from when she played Arleen Wuornos, even I'm not that depraved.

Pandering to the LBGTAANK ect is all the rage at the moment it seems. I'm seriously concerned where it's all gonna end but generally yawn at it. However your point regarding cross dressing the kids is on the money. I often wonder what fucking planet these moron's live on. Along with how many years of therapy will these children need.

6 minutes ago, scotty said:

You missed out "and wormwood scrubs" then. 

You have a valid point there!

https://youtu.be/RxhN7MQ6uYw

4 hours ago, The Guard said:

"too".

It was a typo for fucks sake in homage to the Jam, with "Down in the tube station at midnight". Not the typo I would like to add! You didn't teach English in the London area in the nineties did you? Its just that you remind me of a cunt that did.

I heard that judge smelt of pubs and to many UKIP meetings.

4 hours ago, The Guard said:

That was around 1984 .. I could drive all day as long as I had a few cans of Colt 45 in the car to swig at.

Colt 45 fuck me that's a blast from the past Eric, it was still going strong in the early 90's though, as my underage drinking career started. Anybody who confesses to drinking it while driving though, may wish to obtain a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill W. I sincerely hope this was not during the school run (another imported load of yank bollocks, I suspect) Next thing you will be revealing that you crack open a warm special brew, with your evening meal. 

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Carling and Fosters. The go to can of mouse sick for every 'right on' cunt who ever attended a music festival and posted a picture of themselves, holding a tin of it, standing next to Beth Ditto, and trying to pretend they haven't noticed the stench of shit and fish.

Australian lager is diabolical! they should stick to persecuting there indigenous folks and catching skin cancer. A cold Nelson Mandela always hits the spot at the risk of sounding like a cunt, but a Cobra is preferable.

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Has this cunt invented a really good paper aeroplane?

Probably if he could fit a deep fried Mars bar under each wing.

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

Why would I do that?

Cronic self loathing if I had to guess.

Keep your fucking beret on Monsieur! I was just pissing by.

Pretty sure Withers based his whole persona on this chap.

We still lead the way in piss taking, had a bloke move in next door but one to me last week. After going through the obligatory introductions I walked away feeling we had crossed paths before. Then it struck me he's a dead ringer for Roland Browning from Grange Hill. For the last couple of days I've been quoting lines such as 'i just want to help you Row-land'. He's just told me to fuck of!

2 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Smith by his own admission, has an 'affinity' with jews

Klaus Barbie new how to deal with the red sea pedestrians!

Barton's a cunt of galactic proportions! Last I heard of him he'd fucked of to France and was trying to pass himself of as some type of intellectual. Next thing I know he's back up to his old antics and managing some 4th rate team.

I don't suppose Withers ever played for Man city did he???