Major Cunt

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shithouse shin pad:

a rolled up copy of Razzle, stuffed down the front of a sock during a visit to the lavatory for a sneaky 'hand shandy'.

I fucking loved Razzle and Escort. They featured birds you were likely to see on an estate somewhere. When i was away you used to be able to put pages from the above glued with toothpaste before the pc brigade banned it.

Some geezer who happened to be residing in the same establishment took some serious banter when somebody spotted his ex bird...

And before you get a semi Jew-boy i never saw any bum banditry. 

Fucking funny, Eric! 

49 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

"Ere look. Bargain booze, 4 spirits for thirty quid... I've even heard of one of 'em."

I saw a bloke on an escalator with a copy of Viz under his arm and i was tempted to ask for a butchers. 

45 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

"Ere look. Bargain booze, 4 spirits for thirty quid... I've even heard of one of 'em."

The chairman of Bargain Booze is prepared to pay for Drew's liver transplant. If he snuffs it they might go the way of Woolworths!

14 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Sorry brightboy but how can you question my “role” that you and your bumchums invented yourselves? That doesn’t make any logical sense. 
Incidentally I’d prefer it if you spelt “English” with a capital E. 

A small thing to someone of your pisspoor education no doubt but it means something to me.

 

Dimmo.

Jesus wept. Pulling the grammar card is always a sign of a man on the ropes. I'd be here till next week if i was to pull you up on the grammatical mistakes of the late night White Ace fuelled tirades. I also hold qualifications that you could never achieve in a lifetime. 

Have a word with your rabbi for fucks sake!

14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Great comeback. 

The man's a south of the river Mickey Flanagan, a true comedy genius but incapable of doing the cockney walk for obvious reasons. 

Double busy cunt!

35 minutes ago, King Billy said:

The Pooseta used to be the  currency of choice in the gay bars of Spain, I’ve heard. I’ve got no evidence to back it up obviously. 

I'm sure Frank can clarify this matter and also has also chosen to ''back it up'' whilst there.

20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Leonard Nimoy was fucking awful in that. The 50s one was much better.

Eric, old Jewdy seems to be responsible for my best material. I only wish we had a couple more opinionated, Jewish, wide-boys but a muslin of the same calibre would work.

22 hours ago, ProfB said:

Mrs T is now at St Peter's Hill Grantham - in between Sir Isaac Newt & Fredders Tollemache

& some tosspot pelted eggs - bring back hanging.

The only thing he should be hung for is not taking a Still saw with a diamond tipped blade and cutting her off the plinth. That utter cunt Thatcher is responsible for selling our North sea oil (we could have been self sufficient or rich like Norway), privatisation of anything possible, crushing most unions, and having Jimmy fucking Savile regularly visit Chequers. I'm sure there's many more acts of cuntishness like possibly taking up trap two from Reagan ect, but I think i've made my point...

Eggs? What a wanker! 

19 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Equally interesting that you’ve mentioned Tooting Bec Lido. Like your arsehole it’s very much open and a well known rendezvous for promiscuous homosexuals. However I hear it’s a very young crowd that gets down there and I would hate to see you suffer the humiliation of rejection simply due to your advancing age. I mean, you’re not exactly Tom Daly these days are you Marjorie? This is all hearsay of course so take no notice of me. 
However, it’s not like the Parkhurst days. There’s no sex starved blokes desperate to ram your arse anymore, especially as it now resembles the entrance to the Mont Blanc tunnel.

No thanks required for my invaluable advice. Good luck Marje.

 

😁

Not a bad retort, Jewdith. I had absolutely no idea that Tooting Bec lido was a notorious site for turd burglars and thanks for the heads up, obviously i'll be staying well clear. You do seem to have an encyclopaedic knowledge regarding all thing's pink and pool related. I'm guessing you have to make sure the scooters fully charged for the journey along with a tube of KY Jelly. 

It must be a fucking nightmare for the life guards getting you in the pool given your morbid obesity.

I've heard of the pink pound but is there an equivalent shekel?

On 14/05/2022 at 17:05, Eric Cuntman said:

Raffles The Gentleman Thug.

He's working on a film script for Guy Richie. Apparently Jewdy's been giving it the Barry Mcguigan aka bigun!

On 12/05/2022 at 23:26, judgetwi said:

The only pool you’ve sat next to is a pool of your own bullshit. 
“I’m richer than yo’ “ as a way of shutting cunts up on the internet has been done to death wanker. The fact that you still scramble around trying to  pull that one off shows what a knobend you are.

Fucking tosser.

Interesting that you've mentioned the word ''pool'' in your opening sentence. The weather is starting to warm up and maybe you can take the scooter down Tooting Bec lido if it's still open. Don't forget your arm bands and speedos!

Not need to thank me obviously. 

6 hours ago, Decimus said:

I think he's probably got a lot of enemies and should lose a dozen or so chins in order to watch his back more vigilantly.

The cunt is by his own admission a former pig, a devout Kike, a Peeping Tom and an inveterate alcoholic. If a former con doesn't end up shivving him, a Pakistani corner shop owner or a furious parent will.

 

Indeed. I do question the ex cozzer role though. He seems to be completely clueless in regards to the english penal system. You would have thought that any run of the mill pc would have a working knowledge, but he's quite vocal about Scotland Yard.

There's absolutely no way he made detective if Frank could lure him to a fake taverna.

On 09/04/2022 at 09:45, Decimus said:

Thank you for the history lesson, I'm sure that the tens of thousands of "guests" who died there would agree with your distinction. Jolly old Belsen, the Disneyland of the Nazi regime.

As for the train incident, you've obviously conveniently forgotten that, just like you have forgotten saying that you're ex-Old Bill, that you once ran to be an MP and that you're a penny-pinching, hook-nosed fucking Jew.

Surely he had to be running for the spot that covers Golders Green or possibly Stamford Hill. The only other explanation is that he was pulling a Tommy Robinson and hiding his jewish heritage, running (no pun intended) as a BNP candidate which probably wouldn't have made him to popular on his Brixton estate, but then again they're not too fond of old bill either. 

What's your take on it?

The Judge has got all the credentials to land a deputy commissioner role at Jimmy Savile House. Paralysed, bent, jewish and with a penchant for Arabs. The chronic alcoholism might be an issue but then again look at what used to happen on Top Of The Pops.

Now then, now then...

On 05/05/2022 at 19:46, King Billy said:

Your cock has a bigger dark side than the moon. 
Fuck off.

If Pen was to get a stiffie upon a peak of the Andes mountain range it would cause a partial solar eclipse... 

33 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It's a shame that The Judge isn't that stealthy.

I can picture him now, drunkenly swerving the scooter down the One-Stop beers, wines and spirits aisle, knocking over old dears and plinths of Dubonnet on his way to the Spesh. Next thing you know he's wailing like a member of his tribe at The Wall, shit running down his cankles as the realisation hits him that the discounted 5kg bags of pork scratchings aren't kosher.

Now that's just cracked me up! 

I've absolutely no idea what his connection to Cowell is apart from them being responsible for pushing talent devoid,  utterly cuntish pop acts on the public, forcing bands that actually wrote and played their own instruments struggling to get signed. 

You would have thought that King had enough dough put away to pay his own bail, but was possibly attempting to claim poverty knowing that the filthy fucking nonces victims would be rightly awarded his millions, or maybe all those Southeast Asia holidays with Glitter were not that cheap after all. 

What's the Corners consensus regarding the Cowell connection? 

20 hours ago, King Billy said:

You’ll never look back.

He normally doesn't unless he's checking for store detectives whilst shoplifting white spirit's. When it comes to procuring alcohol Drew's as cunning as a Afghan warlord after a new tea boy.

15 hours ago, judgetwi said:

There’s Marjorie. No balls, no bollocks, never had an independent thought in his little head. So desperate to be liked by wankers he’s never met and never will. The king of the cliches.

Do carry on.👌🏾

Not too fussed who likes me here and who doesn't, Jewdith. I was simply offering a piece of advice that might help you out along with the obligatory piss taking.

If forced to wager on the punter most likely to take this place as reality then it's a score on yourself. I'm not sure if it's the copious amounts of Kalashnikov vodka or lack of human contact causing your hilarious rage, but i'm not a shrink. Maybe Roops did a degree in psychology along with her others.

i'm more than happy to take you out for a spin in the wheelchair coz that's the kind of bloke I am.

Chill the fuck out, and Shalom!

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Yorkshire, you say? 

Now I may have smoked more weed than was good for me this past week, but I'm starting to join up the dots.

Gobbie was Ding, wasted on amitriptyline and wearing his mother's dress. I can't recall them ever being logged on at the same time.

 

I'm just wondering how many clunge starved punters sent dick pics via PM.

Her absence could potentially be explained due to receiving a snap of Lord P`s Burmese Python. Even a slapper from Leeds who's knocked out eight kids of various shades would undoubtedly shudder and call it a day upon sight. 

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

They actually bother with education courses in category A prisons. It must be great fun teaching maths to mad-dog fucking loonies...

"If it takes a man 26 minutes to chop up an old lady, how long does it take the same man to fuck a rabbit?"

I was listening to a podcast with a bloke who was either double or triple A cat. It was just him Kenny Noye and Mickey Steele on this special unit. Despite being held behind electronic triple gates and cameras in their cells they were awoken by a torch shined in the face every half hour during the night. 

Really interesting fella who was dealing directly with the Cali Cartel, Moroccan Mafia and others. He had previously escaped from a Dutch and an English jail while being taken to court and they gave him twenty odd years in his absence. 

Noye actually took the torch part of it to the European Court of Human Rights* and won.

*Now we are out of Europe the government can really fuck the public about with no fear of a rulings against it. 

18 hours ago, judgetwi said:

That’s lipstick and it’s not a minge anyway. That’s an open fucking know it all mouth that talks bollocks all day long. Fake, fraud, bullshitter. 

I'm deducing that you're still the persecuted forced to wear the red triangle by a fascist dictator after reading that little tirade. For a man who persistently accuses others of being thick your density continues to both puzzle and amuse me. 

If you wound that neck in with more chins than a chinese phone book attached to it for a week then you'll probably be unshackled. Unfortunately the cultivated Jewdy outlaw image won't allow it, so now Roops has you checkmated. 

Put down the can of Special Brew, take a Valium, read the above, and stop fucking whining. 

You stupendously thick, bum banditry obsessed, scooter speeding cunt! 

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

No idea. A lot of the people and conversations from the earlier days are lost in a literal haze for me.

After reading a few of the archived threads it's abundantly clear that the Judge has never once broken character. The fat fucker seemed even more opinionated, uninformed,  and made even more enemies back then. Credit where it's due, he's a thoroughbred cunt. Then again, i`d be an angry, Special Brew guzzling wanker if I was paralysed. 

16 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Good old Ex knew how to make a statement. I'm not even sure he knew what statement he was making, but he knew how to make one.

Was Nobgobbler actually a bird? That avatar used to give the oboe a little twinge picturing a Megan Fox looking twenty something in need of some protein, but given that this site is the finest collection of class a cunts from all four corners i seriously doubt it! 

38 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Misinformed my arse. All music types are either black or gay. With the exception of Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, and Brett Michaels out of Poison, I've seen both of them shag Pamela Anderson on video.

And I think that bloke who sang the theme tune from 'Auf Weiderschein Pet' was normal as well.

If we all liked the same thing this site would die overnight. Agreed regarding old Pammy. I`d still bang that like a snare drum though, the girl knows her way around the pink oboe!