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Cunts who gift you Fucking Door-Stops and other Items of Worthless Shite. Bastards.


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What the absolute, actual, utter fuck goes through bastards' minds when they consider buying you fucking pieces of cunting tat like this, instead of a litre of cognac. This faux-tartan shapeless piece of crud doesn't even have a handy bottle-opener, or an illegible foreign danger warning, explaining how volatile it could be if set alight in moments of boredom. If I want a door kept open, a half-empty bottle of fucking Vladivar, or stack of vintage spank mags should suffice. Cunts.

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