Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 What cunts! First, there is always some greedy coin counting fossil at front of house on the cash til. The fucker is older than the dirt under the deep fat fryers, and is unable to do anything other than count the fucking money, which he does shamelessly throughout the service. Then the waiters, they used to wear those fun uniforms, now they're in designer label clothing and act like complete cunts. Doing their job is an inconvenience. No longer are there camp murals on the walls of different areas of the commie country, or the cheap paper lanterns from the ceilings. You actually have to ASK them for fucking chop sticks.Yet another assault on traditional values by the cuntish bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 These cunts are responsible for the demise of the pie and mash establishments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 We can't even count on the tight fisted bastards to initiate a loud argument over whether or not a meal is due a free egg roll! That used to be the best part of going, the incomprehensible screaming and broken English. I tend to prefer some entertainment with my meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 We can't even count on the tight fisted bastards to initiate a loud argument over whether or not a meal is due a free egg roll! That used to be the best part of going, the incomprehensible screaming and broken English. I tend to prefer some entertainment with my meal.You can't these days as you may risk a meeting with their local Triad rep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Never understood how they can get away with the lack of hygene found in the ones in this area. Every take away anybody I know has tried round here has made people sick. Chinese restaurant syndrome, you burp the smell of rotten eggs and fart so profusely that the paint starts peeling off the walls, but the risk of follow through is so great, that doing it anywhere other than over the porcelain is a high risk strategy akin to mutually assured destruction during the cold war. The fuckers also think that it is ok to throw grease down the sewer causing giant fat balls that block the sewer and attract rats. There are also a lot of cats going missing in this neighbourhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Never understood how they can get away with the lack of hygene found in the ones in this area. Every take away anybody I know has tried round here has made people sick. Chinese restaurant syndrome, you burp the smell of rotten eggs and fart so profusely that the paint starts peeling off the walls, but the risk of follow through is so great, that doing it anywhere other than over the porcelain is a high risk strategy akin to mutually assured destruction during the cold war.The fuckers also think that it is ok to throw grease down the sewer causing giant fat balls that block the sewer and attract rats.There are also a lot of cats going missing in this neighbourhood.Not mention using Creosote as a cooking oil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 And the flied lice -literally Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 My work once required visits to a large city centre restaurant on a regular basis where I was always made very welcome and invited for a coffee with the ever so genial boss man. I was however always aware that all the while we sat there indulging in the usual polite work type chat and small talk he undoubtedly stashed a fucking great big machete beneath his desk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Not mention using Creosote as a cooking oil. and MSG... magic chinese cooking powder. Is a guaranteed case of the shits, but thickens their sauces all nice and pretty like. The hygiene in these places would make a pig proud of its sty, and the triad cunts sitting in the back room conducting "business," would make the sicilian la familia look like a dot com start up. Cunts! But how do you rid the country of such an infestation of utter shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've no idea how many shitty Chinese restaurants I've been in over the years; they all look the same to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Sushi is okay sometimes - a small snack pack costing around £1.10 otherwise, it has bits of beard & leaves in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 ... Yeah. Chinese Sushi is truly something else. Mongolian Lamb on the other hand... I thought you was a mate - are you gel I like Alfie too? Alfie has healing hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 ... Yeah. Chinese Sushi is truly something else.Mongolian Lamb on the other hand... Funny, I have just had mongolian lamb with egg fried rice and it was rather good, but I made it myself from scratch so hygene and ingredients were not in question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frank Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 I'l have a 69 and a pancake loll. Thank you. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 We can't even count on the tight fisted bastards to initiate a loud argument over whether or not a meal is due a free egg roll! That used to be the best part of going, the incomprehensible screaming and broken English. I tend to prefer some entertainment with my meal. Our local restaurant would be right up your alley - the food is great, and not expensive at all. The staff are sarcastic as fuck, but are pretty good at bringing you more drinks without the need to ask (if you look like you are getting on a session) The manager is a total bastard. Don't question anything or you are in deep shit. I swear to you all, that one Saturday afternoon, a married couple with an ageing parent in a wheelchair asked if they could move tables as the sun was shining straight at them and it was really warm. He went bananas about lack of space etc, and fucking ended up chucking them out. Another evening he had a literal punch up with another Chinese guy whilst they were all eating. Great. He should register on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 You are nothing but a bunch of lacists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 do they eat lots of spice, I read it can 'burn an hole in a Chinese man's belly.' I think it might blow his balls off too. I've seen weird things fly by me b-room window at night & my neighbours look like they are from China - say no more. Chinese bollix hurling past me window? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Our local restaurant would be right up your alley - the food is great, and not expensive at all. The staff are sarcastic as fuck, but are pretty good at bringing you more drinks without the need to ask (if you look like you are getting on a session) The manager is a total bastard. Don't question anything or you are in deep shit. I swear to you all, that one Saturday afternoon, a married couple with an ageing parent in a wheelchair asked if they could move tables as the sun was shining straight at them and it was really warm. He went bananas about lack of space etc, and fucking ended up chucking them out. Another evening he had a literal punch up with another Chinese guy whilst they were all eating. Great. He should register on here. You simply don't get entertainment like that on the telly! Worth every penny! LOL It's dynamic, spontaneous, live, from the heart. No scripts, producers, directors, or overpaid cunt actors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Sounds more like a pikey's hot dog van. Those have their own virtues and positive attributes. Mostly, it's the cunt running them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 Jazz, you've run a kitchen, haven't you? If your recipes got out, squirrel and varmint populations would drop like a stone the world over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frank Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 I'l have a 69 and a pancake loll. Thank you. twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 ... am currently negotiating a new position as Pastry Chef. She resides in Camberwell and speaks fluent Gypo and is a master at deep-frying techniques... Can skin a Badger AND baste it with her eyes closed, and so I may consider her as an essential part of my team. Sounds interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 I read it can 'burn an hole in a Chinese man's belly.' I think it might blow his balls off too. Tripp today and connect with the other side by killing yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've never had problems with chinese restaurants. I love chinese food Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 14, 2014 Report Share Posted October 14, 2014 If you're repulsed by Jazz's menu, you should see what the little bastards do to the live animals, just before killing and cooking them. If you're really fortunate, your stir fried snake with chinese veg will still be moving when the waiter arrives at your table. I guess on a "freshness" scale, the cunts rate quite highly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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