Tree Preservation Orders

[Neil]

8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Before you could, squirrels would surge over you, owls pluck your eyeballs, chipmunks chide you; I'd send forth tendrils to entwine your limbs, questing roots to explore your cavities, and rip you asunder, flinging the dross to the four winds

Said in the voice of Russell Brand this makes sense,you are both off your fucking trolley

 

[Guest Ollyboro]

11 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Before you could, squirrels would surge over you, owls pluck your eyeballs, chipmunks chide you; I'd send forth tendrils to entwine your limbs, questing roots to explore your cavities, and rip you asunder, flinging the dross to the four winds.

You're asking quite a lot of yourself there. You'd struggle to get a nocturnal creature like the owl to show up at the same time as a squirrel. And unless you can entice Neil to North America, you've got no fucking chance of a chipmunk showing up. There is a Siberian Chipmunk, but the price of flights to get Neil there may prove prohibitive. An ice-pick to his bollocks would be more economical and environmentally friendly.