BuggerLugs

2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Who?

Jeremy Farrar. Google is your friend, you thick cunt.

Alarmist cunt, yet in some ways I hope he turns out to be a soothsayer.

In other news, I'm wondering why no. 10 doesn't have a cat flap?

16 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

For the first times in years, I've not once been pissed upon and I'm still in the same dry box. Life's a bliss. Why, I even get a lay in, PLUS I have not the need to self isolate. Every other cunt has fucked off!  

Ace innit? I've just out on the street clapping and whooping like a spaz, I'm hammered again and I don't think my neighbours like me.

4 hours ago, Gregg said:

Wayne Rooney, a cunt with no idea of the real world.

Let's all stand at our front door tomorrow at 8pm and fork the cunts.

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

I have a choice of doorways like never before B'Lugs, and I'm all for it. 

I'm gonna miss this bollocks, long may it continue. 

2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

One good thing about the current pox, is the removal of gutter snipes from our streets. I now have the entire South Circular to myself Panz, and I aint looked back since.  

It's fantastic, like driving around the mountain roads of southern Spain in winter. Cock on.

5 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

 

2 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

All i know is i woke up one morning feeling like id been ina fight..sore all over..throat n chest felt like it was stuffed with brambles ..no energy to get out of bed ..slept for 14 hours... shivering and feeling cold while sweating  is a unique experience..next three days consisted of bed..kitchen..coffee..bed ..day five i felt better..week later fine again if they were the mild symptoms they say 80% experience then id not like to be in the unfortunate 20

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

So that'll be what I'd call a decent hangover. Nothing to see here.

Fuck off.

14 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Tim Martin helped to deliver Brexit and his pubs provide excellent value.

Most criticism of him is sour grapes from remoaner arseholes.

I like you Punkers. in fact, I'm inclined to afford you the secret knock which admits one to my local and now underground hostelry, ironically called "The Crown". 

There's artisan gins through to the ubiquitous Carling, mini golf in the beer garden and discounted beak dispensed via the bogs.

The landlord is making a killing.

1 hour ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Could be seen as a bit colonial..forcing persons of colour to toil in fields for a comparatively small amount of money 

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

Well, the old racism card hit the table pretty pronto here, to be expected, but much quicker than I anticipated. 

Fuck off with that shit.

3 hours ago, Neil said:

More like fucking hand relief, multi millionaires guilt tripping sheeple to part with their hard earned wonga.Fuck off you jug eared cunt.

Sport relief, comedy relief, children in need, et al....Giant steaming pile o shit, I'm relieved when the current wankfest is over,.trouble is, It's only a few weeks to the next one.

Right, I'm off for a massive shit, now there's a true relief scenario. 

8 hours ago, Cunt-End Of The World said:

Fuck me. I had a similar experience on my way home from the shop, my bag with suet in it just kept on swooshing around. Nearly had my eye out. 

Just got home, it took a while to negotiate the blockades of twigs and it doesn't help, that, as usual, I'm fucking hammered. I called in Tesco Express on the way and because I can't actually see, It appears, I bought vegan suet. 

Anyway, after a bit of fucking about, I can state, with authority, that fusion cooking betwixt non-carne pies and single malt whisky is a drastic failure. 

Mrs. Lugs says I can stay till the morning, then I have to fuck off.

9 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

What sex are you? Do you know?

 

Absolutely. But I can be a gay golfer if you're prepared to crossdress? 

NB. Other stuff TBA.

44 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I hate that little wanker. James Hunt would have kicked the little Oik in the bollocks and shagged his girlfriend.

I already have, but I digress,  

I awake in Palomares, a one horse town in Almeria, which was accidentally bombed, with a nuclear weapon by the Yanks. I'm not sure how I arrived, but according to the other passengers in the hire car, we averaged around 180kph from Alicante, most acceptable for a 1.0 Hyundai i10 . However, there appears to be a residual stink of shit in the coche. It wasn't me.

I've been out for sushi tonight and I'm very happy.

.

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I remember your 'postcards' from the Mediterranean episode. Now you have no tolerance after 4 weeks abstinence. This should be good. See you when your ban is up.

It gets worse. I'm off to Spain again tomorrow. Pissed as a cunt postcards from the.Med. Vol 35 (El rincon de los coños, la película) incoming.

Just to stay on topic, I've never had either a beard, nor a guitar and that useless cunt Valdez never did show up.

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That was... anachronistic.

Eric, I've just done dry January, I'm off out on the pish and Mrs. Lugs can't be arsed. This could get very fucking messy. Stand by.

On 22/01/2020 at 21:38, Wolfie said:

Unsurprisingly the latest animal-borne supervirus from the world's biggest cesspit is gathering pace. What the fuck did the barbaric cunts expect, with no animal welfare or livestock production laws in place, keeping and mistreating pigs, birds, cows, goats, cats and dogs et al. like vermin in utterly filthy conditions? If this thing breaks out, I hope the selfish shits take it on the chin and absorb the brunt of it while international travel is prohibited. Cruel, backwards, slum-infested shitheap. 

Jackie Chan will be drafted in shortly to sort out all this Kung Flu nonsense.

7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You wouldn't mind it for a cock.

Indeed, it already has it's own Jap's eye, made for the job I'd say. 

The cock I'm already adorned with might not be long, but it's as fat as a tin o salmon.

On a related BBC spaz presenter matter.....I wish that one armed bandida Lucy Martin would drop her insistence on going bare back and adopt a fucking prosthetic, or a twig, or a spatula or something, I missed the gist of the weather forecast again due to being mesmerised by her twitching fucking stump, for fucks sake.

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's, surprisingly accurate. It's fairly clear that there is a campaign to dilute the aryan race down to a brown soup. Little white girls are being indoctrinated to the ideal of white women only pairing off with black men. Just watch any television advert.

We are being ethnically cleansed, by stealth.

Whilst true, this has potential benefits for all. No need to rack up the air miles topping up one's tan, much easier access to benefits, superior knife skills and a bigger knob.