Hammer of Cunts

Considered very attractive in Japan at one time. Not just Manchester.

As I get older, I notice how the world seems, increasingly, to revolve around the young. Today, I went to buy toothpaste and found that the only type available was for use on white teeth. This is discriminatory; there cannot be many of my generation that would find this suitable. If it were my face rather than my teeth that were brown, manufacturers would be falling over themselves to cater for my requirements.

To save even more tme, fuck off.

Live sign-language interpreters in theatres (and cinemas) are quite a popular attraction, people have their favourites. They don't just stand there, they act out what's going on so that you can tell whose speech they are relaying. It's quite amusing. I suppose it's annoying for someone watching "late-night" television when the little Magnus Pike blocks the view of a nipple or an orifice.

It's hard to tell; I think he might be Welsh.

Can't see what you're getting at there, am I missing something or is it gibberish? Maybe you've caught something.

To which "hooligan 2 strokes are you referring? Other than mopeds. 350 LCs, GT750s? Unreliable or unrideable, take your pick. I once met a bloke who had a Silk, but he was a 70yr-old who made paper and lived in a igloo with a grass roof, not a hooligan.

Christ! Did you read that right to the end? I lost interest at "we".

Is that a question?

Don't be silly, Abdul's a Christian. He follows a life of bible studies and quiet contemplation. He's more likely to be handing out tea with the Sally Anne.

He's trapped in the tunnels under the STD unit at Rafah Infirmary.

No need to look closely, all three (Islam, Judaism and Xtianity) are know as "the Abrahamic Religions" and worship the same sky-fairy. The pentateuch is part of the scripture of all of them. Christianity was originally a Jewish sect. Islam was invented six centuries later by a confused kiddie-fiddler in a tent. Some follow the Gourd, some follow the Sandal.

Hamas/Palestinians are trouble makers and few of their co-religionists have spoken up for them; they were kicked out of the UAE and Jordan (where they stirred up a war with Syria). It sats a lot that their, Muslim. neighbours in Egypt have closed their borders while the Jews get on with sorting them out. If your neighbour spends his time lobbing dog-turds onto your lawn, sooner or later you'll go round and put his windows in.

If you show it, they will watch.

Bollocks.

Just try to remember that brevity is the soul of wit. In your case, how about paring down your dribblings to postings of just a (misplaced) full-stop.

Where did they all come from so suddenly? Within the last yrar, there'd a couple of them in every town. t took a decade for all those Chinese takeaways to appear and Indians have been buying up corner shops since the '60s. This influx seems to have some organisation.

Fucking hell! I didn't Know that girl in the van with pictures of poodles all over it was Asian. I thought she was Welsh or something. Does this mean that Asian groomers will be setting up slightly sinister "parlours" all over the place? Like Turkish barbers.

I don't think that the athletes themselves have to pay for the kit. I should Imagine that Lewis Hamilton gets a free car and Usain Bolt is snowed under with complimentary running shoes.

I wonder how the local people felt about having their village infested with "downsizing" suburban wankers and fucking Airbnb, while their children get a poxy fucking starter home built on a filled-in tip. We don't give a toss what colour the blow-ins are, we hate them anyway.

There aren't many black bikers either.

I've known some viciously segregationist badgers and I think ash trees are anti-semitic.

I'm pleased to say that I can eat my tea without letting my cock get out of control; or getting it out at all TBH. That must be hard for you even to imagine, from what I hear.

Dirty Britney Spears:

Michelles Mone and O'neil: has anyone ever seen them in the same room? We shouild be told. Is there anyone here who knows anything about Irish politics?