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Everything posted by KingRollo
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Seriously isn't a word I hear often on here, Frank, but it's a civil question so I'll answer. Here is what it says about me on my Wikipedia page: Rollo: a childlike king who was always in need of advice and assistance from his friends. Among these were The Magician (a father figure); Cook (the king's cook, a mother figure, who was arguably the real ruler of the kingdom); his neighbour and girlfriend, Queen Gwen; King Frank; and Rollo's cat, Hamlet, who was generally portrayed as wiser than Rollo himself. Personally, I do not care for the somewhat casual and, dare I say, condescending tone of this entry. I'll find the silly bugger who wrote this and introduce them to Childe Harold - then they'll see what being childlike and in need of assistance really means. I bet it was Pen. Frank, thank you so much for your kind interest. I hope this answers your enquiry adequately. Warmest regards KR
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To be honest, Major, I'd be grateful for any tips. I've had to raise a tax on the Kingdom to cover Covid related expenses and have resorted to living on @King Billy's generosity to keep me in crowns and soldiers. Thank the heavens for @King Billy! Oh, and congratulations on your ingenuity - there will always be a place for you in the Kingdom, we need movers and shakers! (Not the Childe Harold kind...)
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Don't be silly.
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Wizard called me a miserable little twerp once. It was because I didn't like the socks he gave me. They didn't match. Wizard said I was being too fussy, but given what he likes to wear, I don't trust his judgement - I mean look at him: I was most put out by the unkind remark and I do suggest you exercise some caution before bandying about ill-thought-out insults here on the corner, especially with all the complications from your head trauma - you may cause unintended offence.
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You really are overestimating Pen.
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I won't waste the bleach by drinking it, milady, when you clearly have urgent need of it for your douche.
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Good afternoon indeed, my Lord and Liege. Queen Gwen has been in a foul mood. She came home one afternoon last week, looking like a bucket of wallpaper paste had been emptied on her and smelling like a kipper's pyjamas. When I asked her about the meaning of this, she just muttered "Cuntman" ... I don't think - Queen or not - she has any business calling me such names and I am considering a stint in the dungeons for her. The 10th viagra is always the "one which breaks the camel's back" - which is a disgusting practice but from your message, I gather no animals were harmed (although the budgies may need counselling...). Given the likely chafing and the risk of a zip-related accident, I am sending you an urgent supply of Wizard's robes. He also has issues in the trouser department. With sincere affection, Your humble servant, KR
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My thoroughbred steed did the same as I was surveying the Kingdom, ensuring that those who have succumbed to bike related head injuries recieve the appropriate care (in the appropriate facility). I posit that both in your dog's case, and my horse's, the spontaneity was more worthy of attention than the ramblings of the unfortunate Childe...
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Trucky would never get in his golf club because it doesn't exist, Pen. I, on the other hand, have a smashing golf course in the Kingdom. Punkape is not a member as we tend only to have actual golf, not windmills and tunnels (or other distractions of a baser nature).
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I am sure he wouldn't. His club would be for golfers...
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Wow. I used to work in Fareham... lucky escape!
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Sorry Gyps. It's the pedant in me (not in a literal sense...)
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Queen Gwen says that they're a fantastic department!
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A bit of a reach is his speciality. Don't take it personally...
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Not sure what you mean. You need punctuation, suffixes and/or pronouns: Piss, pants pedant - a command, followed by a rather bizarre noun phrase which suggests that I am a pedant, but somewhat lacking (i.e. "pants") Piss your pants, pedant - a clear command (but you need the word "your" in there) Piss-pants pedant - a noun phrase which, through the hyphen, clarifies that "piss" is being used as an adverbial noun, not a verb. It suggests that I am a pedant in trousers I have urinated in. Pissy-panted pedant - a conversion of the nouns "piss" and "pant" into adverbs to create a noun phrase; same meaning as the one before. How's that for a bit of pedantry? Also, the link between this attempted insult and the post you have quoted is less than obvious. Must try harder, as Wizard would say...
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That clears that up then. I must admit though, Josh Widdicombe is also not funny. And his Dad Ann is pretty shocking too!
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What about this father and son pair? Do you share the widely held view that they are hilarious? Are they an exception to your premise?
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She'd enjoy that, the dirty minx.
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I wish! She has the best stylists in the Kingdom!
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Couldn't if I tried! I just ooze pizazz!