Goober

2 hours ago, ProfB said:

What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime?

My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum. 

 

Pool... Voyeurism... 

Errrmmm... No, let's not go there. 

This bloke might be a light-footed, fudge nudging, ball caresser, but with one announcement he's secured a fucking good income for life, regardless of whether he has any footballing talent. 

If it turns out that he doesn't cut it at Blackpool, do you think they would dare not renew his contract? Homophobia! The woke masses would scream. The more abuse he gets from the stands, the higher his profile will become. 

After he retires from playing it's odds on he's guaranteed a cushy well paid job with the FA promoting rainbow coloured inclusivity. Perhaps even more likely, he'll end up being a roving (raving?) sports pundit for the BBC. Expect to see his weekly reports, broadcast from the changing rooms, on Football Focus. 

2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I'm doing a Pen and watching BBC News and they're interviewing a former footballer who came out gay and his actual words were, "we want to support Jake Daniels and really get behind him". I bet you fucking do, you poof. Before shooting your spunk up his shit-tube. 

I'm glad Punkape's back to provide an opinion from the poofters viewpoint.

Breaking News - Blackpool reveal their new home and away kits for the 2022/23 season:

Look on the bright side, Eric, McCain handing out free tablets to 'special' kids keeps a steady trickle of new members coming to the site.

I doubt The Corner would have received BronyKeith's memorable contributions without McCain's largesse. 

No surprise. I'm indifferent to Ukraine winning BenderVision. It's an anti-Russian vote, so fair enough. 

I rather enjoyed the Spanish entry, for obvious reasons. The Serb woman performing some pre-fisting lubrication and actions was weird as fuck and the less said about the Norwegians wanting to fuck their grandmothers with bananas the better.

The stomach churning gay fest that was the Italian entry, that for some strange reason was so liked by Mr Norton, was a fucking disgrace. 

I've got an ancient water blaster in the shed (it probably needs some new o rings, I wonder if I could find someone that charges £40 an hour to replace them?) that hasn't been touched in over a decade since Norfolk was overrun with Poles that were born with sponges for hands. 

6 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Maybe just one more thing I will say about the psyop being played out in Ukraine to keep the fuckwit sheeple topped up with the necessary levels of fear, now that Covid has lost its terrifying effect on the masses.

Last week while on a fun packed awayday trip to Kiev Bozo Johnson pledged a further 300 million quid to our new Baltic besties. This obviously wasn’t enough for our grinning Worzel Gummidge PM so the cunt has just promised another 1.3 billion smackeroonies on top. 
So next time you hear any of these snivelling politicians on either side, proudly  sporting their Ukraine flag lapel badge, complaining about the ‘cost of living crisis’, think about the fucking billions of pounds of your taxes they are giving to a nation of fucking cunts who we have no obligation to whatsoever, while fucking you up the arse simultaneously.

Ukraine... Baltic. Classic. 

Just now, King Billy said:

Very disappointing. Almost as if all your previous apologies weren’t genuine. I’ll say no more about it as I don’t think you realise how it looks for you.

Of course they were genuine, Bill. I'm very sorry that you're impotent. 

Just now, King Billy said:

As I said, your apology is accepted. No need to feel you have to keep on saying sorry.

I'm not apologising to anyone for your floppy chipolata, Bill. It's all on you to make amends for your inadequacy. 

Well, now you mention it, one of the things I posted wasn't entirely accurate.

Everyone is going to laugh at you. 

29 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Shit race, tacky atmosphere, awful track. To be fair, it certainly embodied the true spirit of Miami.

I'm led to believe that in a few years there will be three races in the US every season. That'll be fun. 

I long for the return of the days when there was a 10% chance of at least one driver dying every race. It's the only thing that could rescue this current bore fest.

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I do but some of my customers insist on the genuine Pfizer product. Fucking limp dicked, hard to please, sexual inadequates. Most of them don’t even need Viagra. They need to wipe their glasses and have a good look at the fucking state of their other halfs.

The buying for a friend / customer excuse. 

It's OK, Bill, it's the 21st century, you can open up to The Corner about your trauma of being as limp as wet lettuce whilst Ana de Armas is self fisting for you. No one is going to laugh at you. 

14 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

More minority privilege media conformity bollocks. Most people I know hate the idea of this country being ethnically manipulated, but this is essentially what is happening. The UK is a 90 percent white community of nations and I'm not going to cower away from saying I would prefer it to remain this way, with its British values, much in the same manner I would not scorn the Japanese for wishing to keep their country Japanese.

The BLM race riots in this country in recent years, following the 2011 London riots, these after the 2001 riots in Oldham, Burnley and Bradford, have shattered the illusion the official doctrine of multiculturalism is proving a resounding success, something we are constantly fed by the bullshit BBC & Guardian, both of which seem just as hishonest as our politicians.

 

Sexist cunt. The lefties are going to cancel you for that. 

7 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Substitute Davros with the Judge and I'll watch it.

Wanting to watch Judge get fucked in the arse is a brave admission, but whatever floats your boat, Drew. 

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Cyberpersons of non specific gender, is the term now. Until another gormless wokie points out that they're baddies... they will then be renamed 'Straightwhitemen'

 

Gay Rwandan Scottish. Jesus Christ. 

He's going to nut Davros unconscious, drag him out his wheelchair and arse fuck him before finally hacking him into a thousand pieces with his rainbow handled responsibly sourced machete.

1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

He could use the sonic screwdriver like a baseball bat and take it to those alien cunts while riding around on K9, maybe.

I think this one is more likely to be equipped with a sonic machete, or even worse, a sonic butt plug. 

Either way, the cybermen are going to be shitting themselves. 

14 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Yes, but it never really goes down like that, does it? A quick punch to the neck and the opponent crumples to the ground as the victor basks in the glory of his adoring crowd. That's movie shit.

What you really get is exactly what @Parabolic Cunting describes.

 

I've seen it, but it's not been my personal experience, RK. Then again, I'm not fucking stupid enough to start fisticuffs with anyone that could do me serious harm. 

My old man taught me to never turn my back on someone that's drunk and kicking off, and if it's unavoidable, get the first punch in and really make it count. 

People with their nose spread across their face can't see to hit back. 

It's invaluable advice. 

18 minutes ago, Carl Sway said:

I would imagine Kristen is the boss, being the multi-millionaire and all, unless she's into being belittled, of course. Crikey, I'm thinking about them going at it hammer and tongs à la Blue is The Warmest Colour.

 

I imagine that Kristin has, if you're a bloke, a blue waffle flange that you could plunge your bottle of Grolsch into to chill it. 

She's handsome, for a bird, but if you're lusting after that, you're definitely in the closet. 

28 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Surely the concept of personal, sweaty, breath smelling combat with another man is more homosexual than just shagging his missus and making a quick escape via the garage roof?

Well, I'm not a huge fan of the commercialised ritual of men pounding each other in the ring for 10 rounds, but very, very occasionally it's necessary to plant one on an idiot and fuck them up. 

The bleeding heart liberals might want us all to settle our differences through dialogue and mutual dick sucking, but nothing brings a twat into line quicker than a good hard, knuckles first punch to the larynx. 

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He's a different kind of Geordie. The only one who can read and write, reason and think. Like that arachnid in 'Starship Troopers' that can control all the other arachnids telepathically. RK is 'The Brain-Geordie'.

That's a scary thought.

27 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Never been in a fight. In reality @Witheredscrote could probably deck me with his oxygen tank. I'd draw a very unflattering picture of him afterwards though.

Never been in a fight? 

What's life like for a homosexualist in Newcastle these days? Has the BBC campaign to make heterosexuality abnormal made life more tolerable for them these days? 

25 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I can't say I'm even the slightest bit tempted by her rancid porridge slot.

Porridge slot? Salted or with sugar? 

I could be wrong, Baws, but something tells me she'd not be interested in the contents of your blue and white saltire patterned y-fronts either, given that she's a dirty, fermented fish-smelling, clit sucking lesbo. 

I'd probably lend her one, if she paid me. 

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Yep. That's another one, beauty products will all be promoted by Abbottesque, blobfish and transsexuals. And Oral-B are still using a fucking Somali as the face of dental hygiene.

Fair play, they did well to find one with teeth, considering all the khat they chew. 

7 hours ago, Decimus said:

That's why Ming's still in the chest freezer.

After all the bits that have snapped off during what passes for coitus in the Kleftiko household, she probably does in the fridge icebox now. 

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Nike have done the same thing. They have a Muslim woman playing basketball in a full length, sport burka. I'm not even fucking joking. Obviously there are references to how she has 'overcome prejudice' for the right to play basketball in a fucking circus tent.

I fucking hate these filthy, chisel-toed fucking sand monkeys. I genuinely want to eradicate every last baby fucking one of them. And their hairy, fuck ugly women and cunt kids. If your going to kill the patriarch, might as well clear the nest and avoid reprisals. 

How are you liking the deodorant advert (Sure?) with the overweight black bird that's airing at the moment? You know, the one where she's wobbling like a jelly during an earthquake whilst showing off her fat (sweat free) armpits. 

Perhaps if she worked up a sweat she might lose some fucking weight.