ProfB

I HATE 😡 eggs, it's so unfair.

🤭

NO, it is still happening, I have been carded by a ginger to make matters worse. Long story short, I ended up causing a traffic jam & bringing the town to a standstill collecting my package, simply because a ginger postie didn't hide my eBay package behind my landfill, like any normal postman would. Hey that's me CockUp (in my prev corner incarnation), my name changed to CockUp when my membership expired. & Ohh the irony of Hokey Gingers, who I suspected for ages was Prince Harry, but now I know that's not true,

BOLLIX

Judging by your photo, someone has already collected your sausage - it's missing.

Yes. I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you. Thanks, ProfB

Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish? The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

Ocado may well deliver the contents of the sanitary bin in their ladies toilets next. I predict this little lot of treats, will turn up with a gent's order of vintage wines from M&S & maybe some of those 🐽 in blankets I bought in error when a furloughed HRMC worker rammed their trolley up my arse.

8 inch what? Carrot?

& speed camera that are cuntbreeds.

But after she picked it up she noticed the smell and was sickened to realise the bag was full of bags of urine and also contained faeces. So urine again too. A bucket would be better than bags?

IT GOT WORSE:🤯 Ocado left a bag of shit this time. Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies. Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping. Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it? £25 compo. What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

Are they in the shops yet? Going through my Quaker Oats phase - just come out of weetabix one, after a brief flirtation with spoon sized shreddies.

Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems. Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else.

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone

TA Mr Cuntman. Let the furloughed freeze their bollox off queueing for a M&S pudd, the cunttingtons enjoyed topping up their tans during the first lockdown. Let it ⛄️ ProfB is dreaming of a White Christmas. The big freeze 🥶 is what we need. Are emoji Ok Spotto, don't think the forum accepted them last time, or at least my burnt chips had to be posted of some photo site, then linked, I had probs with that.

I live in Norfolk. My home is haunted too - by a friendly 👻 .

5 days of festivities will result in 25 days of lockdown according to scientists - 1 day of turkeying = 5 days of lockdown. We could have 3 days of Christmas & 15 lockdown days, or no days of Christmas & 25 lock free days. Brussel sprouts are good for the immune system, high in vit c, I’ll be roasting more sprouts than normal this year.

Piss would run out if there was holes.

The story has an happy ending, the mother got replacement food & her money back too. The mother believes the driver was caught short.

Contaminated face masks are blowing into the ocean & killing jellyfish & jellyfish don't have a brain.