scotty

Which is which?

That much is obvious, given his oft repeated catchphrase.

Go on then.

I'll be there waiting to take it out again in exchange for a shiny french franc. Still got a few of those for church purposes.

So, what's the story about this Jazz guy, alfie? Give us all the details....

I can confirm that judge twi is not jazz. He's been on here since pretty much the same time as I landed on the old site, and unless admin knows otherwise I'm also certain that the judge has only ever posted under one username at any one time. Apart from that, I've personally never had any sort of problem with him or his posts. He says what he thinks, that's fair enough with me. And he's a pistols fan, so his heart's in the right place.

Ah, indeed. I was thinking of Chris Slade.

Chris Squire? Was he from manfred manns earth band?

From that selfsame era alfie, I notice that Daevid Allen of Soft Machine and Gong fame pegged it recently. A sad moment.

I've been on the Stella Cidre all day. Suppose it's time to battre the wife.

Tot has, frank's still partying. Next time you decide to honour us with your presence jacko, check your pmail. Got a corker of a book to recommend.

Back in the mid 60s I was 5 years old. So I had to make do with neat woodpecker. My parents weren't animals, you know.

It's easy enough to wind her spring up to breaking point alfie, just post a few jokes about bestiality. She seems a tad oversensitive in that area, maybe she caught her husband with a gerbil up his arse or up to his nuts in her labrador.

Gives you the needle does it, frank?

That's not unusual these days, pen. The youth drink it with vodka, gets them pissed quicker, a bit like we used to do with snakebite.

Put it this way ding; do you still have her phone number?

Absolutely. Is it still ok to call you Ratter?

I'd leave this well alone chaps. Roops will be sharpening the knives as we speak, she doesn't like what she perceives to be the bullying of wad or newbies. As for the pm question, I imagine quite a few regulars have utilised the sites handy pm blocking function. I know I have.

He does look like a right cunt, doesn't he. Hardly surprising considering his choice of abode, the isle of wight makes norfolk look quite sophisticated.

I wouldn't mind getting stuck in to her vicious circle.

Dorothy Parker was a particularly succulent piece of crackling. I wish I'd been the host that gave her one more martini.

Peter cook, describing dudley moore.

Test tube?

Courtesy of drew peacock..... I staggered into the police station. "I've just been attacked by a dwarf in the Red Lion," I groaned. "We'll get him Sir," replied the copper. "He's a gnome troublemaker."

"Well, you're definitely pregnant," I told the dwarf couple in my surgery. "Tell me, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" They looked at each other, and the bloke replied "to be honest mate, we don't give a fuck as long as it fits into a cannon."