scotty

I've met charlie dimmock, out walking her dog near west wellow. A sexier piece of crackling you'll never see (and charlies not too shabby either. Arf.)

You're probably right, but I don't think they're allowed to actually carry them unless ordered otherwise. Their guns have to be kept in a locked cabinet.

The 2nd Amendment was framed before they had a professional military. The situation was entirely different, more like todays Switzerland where every healthy male adult has to keep a rifle by law because the swiss don't have an army as such. The nra never quote the text in full, they always pick out "the right to bear arms" and ignore the rest of it.

Anyone else remember sarah ferguson trembling in terror and bursting into tears when she saw that snake? I don't mean randy andys trouser one either. Some royal visit, all the spongers were there, they had to close ranks around her.

I like to boast that mine is the only cock Linda Lovelace ever gagged on. It's not that big, I just never wash it.

Bohica appeared when wad disappeared. Just saying.

...and are then astounded when it turns round and mauls them to death. Still, it thins out the gene pool. The yanks, not the tigers.

Isn't andouille made from tripe? I seem to recall trying andouillette sausage once, it had the flavour and texture of soft lard, fucking horrible stuff.

I despair sometimes. It's not just the cake baking bollocks, there's also the hideous cookery programmes, I'm a celebrity, come dine with me, x-factor, and the ultimate vomit fest; ann fucking widdicome and john fucking sargent attempting to "dance". Face it judge, our country is beyond help.

Stop holding back mate, tell us what you really think.

Flid.

Would you like to suck my dick, Jim?

Sorry. I accidentally logged in with the wrong id.

I will do exactly that, wizz, but not til I get home and have the damage deposit returned. Once that happens they'll get a bollocking by phone, email, Holiday Lettings and TripAdvisor. Don't want to waste too much holiday time, I'm still here for a week yet, just thought I'd blow off some steam on the corner, the usual therapy. And deccs, these were English cunts. Which makes it even worse.

I usually prefer staying in an apartment or villa while on holiday, but two things always niggle me beyond endurance. The first is the fittings and contents. There seems to be an unwritten rule that everything in it has to be not quite bad enough to lodge a complaint, yet sufficiently crap to not want to steal it. Secondly, the owners never tell you honestly what arrangements have been made for getting the keys. The caretaker/cleaner always does something different to what you've been told. We arrived in spain last week, with written instructions to phone the guy when we had an eta, and that he wouldn't go to the place until he'd heard from me. This suited me perfectly, we'd been on the go since 4am, and I didn't want to be on a timetable from the moment we landed. I had planned to scout the place out, then go and get lunch and a beer before calling. But I couldn't find the address on the satnav, (they'd given me a non existing address,) so I phoned him from the hire car. He gave me the correct address, and asked what time was I arriving because his wife had already been waiting there for an hour. Fucksake. So by the time we got there, his Mrs gave mine an earful while I spent half an hour parking the car, (market day,) I showed her the email from the owners, but it still meant nobody was happy. I nominate them as cunts. The cunts.

Yes, I noticed that. Is rick honestly that fucking soft, or did I get a bit close to home?

Consider that stolen. 

Are you still breathing, you fucking cunt? Haven't you slit your fucking wrists yet?? ...ah, hang on... not a newbie, cancel that...

I remember when I was a kid, our uncle would close the toilet door behind him, wink, and chuckle "I'd give it 10 minutes if I were you, son." Deleted

The only difference baws is that you would have battered and deep fried that lot.

Good shout, wizz. These little bastards are annoying beyond description. In fact, there's one of the little cunts banging into my bar stool as I type this (and that isn't a euphemism for dapps gayer thread.)

Chicken strangler

Pillow chewer

Irony is for irons.

His best known stuff was for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, luke. Cracking read, that.