Ape™️

If it helps you to believe it, then you go right ahead. It clearly means a lot to you.

Does imagining me living in a council house and working in a factory help you come to terms with your miserable and pathetic place in the world? I bet it does.

I think I detected a kick when he potted the brown.

Here he is! Little Johnny Mitty! What exciting things have you imagined doing today?

There’ll be another Boris u-turn soon - he’s getting used to them now. But it won’t be a u-turn, it’ll be as a result of some new science data or research. Tory dickheads.

Poof wanker.

You fucking wanker.

Of course - silly me.

Why are you bringing “noncery” into this?

Moronicus Maximus.

That’s it? That’s your big man reply? Go Johnny! You're... welcome. Wanker!

It’s here! The long awaited daily drivel from little Johnny! Predictably shite, granted, but he’s trying, and that’s what counts. Go Johnny, go Johnny, go Johnny, go Johnny, go go go!

I was made by the universe, by evolution, by biology, by physics and by time. If “god” made you, I’m pretty sure he’s regretting it now. It’s well documented that he hates poofs.

How can you hate something that doesn’t exist?

The Pope will soon come out. You just wait and see. He’s preparing the way.