Cuntybaws

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’m getting near the end of my patient and kind thing with some of these little fucking cunts.

In the olden days they used to simply sense our disapproval, which shamed them into upping their game. Now they have to be explicitly instructed to kill themselves,

7 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Only one dick-pic, but due to the length of the subject it had to be split across multiple images.

This is why Apple introduced a panoramic picture mode.

3 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

What the fuck is this?

It brings the honourable profession of “half-wit” into some disrepute!

And Flids and Tards - someone should invent a game along these lines...

I'm gazing into the abyss even as I type.

5 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Why all the words? You conveyed the nuculus of the nom in the title.

'I've lost over £4,000 because of the ADHD tax'

Meet Rach Idowu, who may not be the very "Stupidest Cunt Ever" but who certainly makes it on to the podium. Not only does the intellectually challenged retard miss flights and forget to pay her credit card, she describes her resultant losses as a "tax" and repeats this stupidity on the BBC so that the wider public will know she's a fucking moron too.

Of course, it's all the fault of ADHD, which is right up there with ASD on today's list of excuses for any sort of dumbfuckery on the part of the younger generation. Shame we can't just send these cunts to Rwanda.

I aks you! 

3 hours ago, and said:

How happy will you be if one of your family, goes to a concert, and ends up dead?

If my mother-in-law goes to a concert and ends up dead I'll be fucking delirious!

Les Dawson, RIP.

9 hours ago, southerncunt said:

Not sure @Cuntybaws could tolerate the place, given his long standing views on shackle draggers

In point of fact, Australia doesn't even make it into my Top Fifty List of Despised Nations. That said, I still maintain that "On The Beach" is a comedy.

22 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Tish boom…etc. Pictpocket?

Highwaymon.

It was so cold in Liverpool today that police found two Scousers with their hands in their OWN pockets!

56 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’m obviously now duty bound to call bullshit because over the years I’ve heard about 20,000 of your lot claim lineage with Burns 

I can assure you it's true, but as I'm only a third cousin seven times removed I still have to buy a ticket just like every other cunt.

Mrs Baws is massively into genealogy and has parish records which trace my lineage directly back to Rabbie himself, and there are DNA matches in confirmed lines back to shared relatives. More recently, and less Scottishly, I'm also vaguely related to David Niven.

2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Well, if I was being really pedantic, I'd suggest this is a feeble attempt to free yourself of your blatant subserviency and ass-kissing of Cuntybores.

Hey, fuck off Wolfie, can't you see I'm grooming him? I fancy diving the Great Barrier Reef and the South Pacific next year, and I'll need somewhere to stay for a few months between trips.

2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’d be interested in any collective advice on how I can best turn up, eat and drink my fill, then fuck off before the mass embarrassment starts.

Turn up wearing a Union Jack waistcoat and a Jimmy Hill mask. You won't be there long. I keep a switchblade in my sporran for just such an eventuality.

As a very distant (and against all odds legitimate) direct descendant of the  Ayrshire Bard I always look forward to the 25th. Traditional haggis is an acquired taste, but these days it's mostly done all fancy schmancy - haggis and potato bon bons in a creamy whisky sauce, for example. Fucking lovely!

9 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

I didn't realise there was such thing as a cold health alert

Don't eat yellow snow.

13 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

The velvet clad types in the higher echelons  of most faiths or cults (depending on personal opinion)  prefer their meat rather more tender .Fucking misogynistic pervy cunts the lot of em.To see gays fawning around religion being thankful they're now blessed makes me raise an eyebrow considering those doing the blessing have spent the past 500 years burning them at the stake .Fucking idiots .

It's almost as if the Bible/Koran/Talmud wasn't the actual literal word of God at all, but rather a total fiction written by the pig-ignorant savages which reflected all the prejudices and biases of the time. 

9 hours ago, Basil Brush said:

M&S is far superior in any event.

Get all your frocks there, do you?

They have already exceeded their quota of stupid fucking cunts.

On 12/01/2024 at 21:59, Greg said:

Have you ever watched The Stone Tape?

Paging Decimus, @Decimus to the main board...

14 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

The BBC have been wringing their hands in angst at this latest "tragedy".They really need to understand the majority of the British population really couldn't give a fuck , infact its saved us at least a million.Their own country didn't want them , what use are they to us ?.

I'd be more kindly inclined towards immigrants if we could exchange them for Scousers.

4 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/2023-was-worlds-hottest-year-record-eu-scientists-confirm-2024-01-09/

2023 definitely wasn't the hottest on my record which includes the legendary summer of '76. In fact, 23 was a fucking damp squib, a write off and another typical abysmal waste of time in the UK. 

Possible answers :

# Because, much as some might like it to be, and without straining the boundaries of multidimensional set theory, the "World" and the "UK" are not the same thing.

3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Bawsey, just what on Earth is going on here?

The author of this execrable twaddle is Pallab Ghosh. I've made my thoughts clear before on THAT particular cunt, and on the BBC's reporting of astronomical phenomena generally:

Apparent violations of the cosmological principle are ten a penny, which is why it's a "principle" and not a "theorem" or a "law". It's a bit like the high school physics exam questions about snooker balls that tell you to ignore rotational and frictional effects, which explains why none of these fucking scientists have ever won the World Snooker Championship.

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

he threw the East Coast franchise and fucked up the Cross Country operation and lumbered it with a fleet of albeit very robust trains that are unsuitable for the routes they serve.

Oh for fuck's sake, who got Pen started on fucking trains?!?

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Don’t you admonish @Cuntybaws for admonishing you!  
I think we would both have to admit that neither of us had a clue what he was talking about but it sounded very clever so I am just going to agree with it anyway. 

I almost went for a Lawrence Logic picture rather than Mr Pedantic, but thought better of it at the last moment.